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Tuesday, March 20, 2012

What The Hell is Proper!?!?!?

I just took my medicines, so I have about one hour before complete and even more idiotic silliness hits, than normal! Oh well, I like amusing myself before bedtime, my wish is to give you a smile or a chuckle no matter, how I do it. I go right to sleep, I reckon this has become therapy/meditation and a journal of insanity for the whole world to see! OH SHIT!!! Never thought of it, like that before! Now I won't be able to write one dad burn thing! I'll be too embarassed and nervous. Damn! I better make that it for today! Goodnight my friends sleep tight and have sweet dreams!

Aw come on just teasing ya! If you can't tease your friends, who can you tease!

Can I handle getting even more sillier? Yep! But can you out there! Can you handle, me being any CRAZIER! I reckon if you're a return reader, you read for my meandering silliness! (I love ya'll!) I know! I know! That's not proper! (i-say-!@#$-proper-can-i-say-that-?) Is that wOrD, proper or improper? That word f!@k, be used so much today, it seems proper! dAmN is using capitol and LITTLE letters proper! IF-un I want to, I wiLL. dAM'S! ANY ONE WHO READS ME KNOWS, i be silly and have fuN! Yi-ZA! = wOw-Za!

Dann it all too hell! The modern wonders of communication is creating more IM-proper communication than ever! So don't NOBODY turn up your big ass f!@#$ing nose at me! I had this 10th grade English, so-called teacher who turned up his nose at ones, that did not speak PERFECT, WEAR NICE CLOTHES AND SUCH! you see, i come from the proverbial other side of the tracks. i be a poor boy with hearing problems. i sit up front so's i could learn as much as i's could. i grew up reading the classics, yep! Mark Twain! To a young lad, it does not get any better than Mark Twain! Mi famalee ur puur pholk, un nevur nown purfuct, f!@#ing, English! Anyway, me and this so called teacher Mr. Farris, all class he talks about golf. He made fun of me for the last time and I give hiim wat's fuur! Yep! I had to repeat that class but it was worth it! I went from barely passing to a B in the good teacher's class! Oh well, I suppose me saying that, has been coming for nye onto 45 years!!! I'm free! I'm free! Sorry! I do get carried away!  

 The words being spoken and texted today is about as improper as improperness can get! (Let alone the improperness of cellphone usage.) I be an, almost deaf old man, I DO NOT, wish to hear any cellphone conversation, as I stand in line getting my Doctor prescribed valium and prozac!!! Damn PEOPLE This old f!@#er be waiting on his much needed meds, I'm tense already because the line is long at the speedy checkout! I forgot and took my diuretic too early, so I am holding my legs tight, U'know! (In case you don't, I GOT'S TO PEE!)

There's talk in my state of doing away with teaching handwriting. Say what! Mary Lou can't type worth a hoot now! We the modern world depend on modern technology, and when! Not if! That technology goes down! What is Mary Lou's fingers going to do? She be sitting in her bed punching them wee letters on her unusable cellphone! She'll be like Linda Blair in that scene from The Exorcist! Well at least Joe Bob junior can go hang with his Bro's and speak perfect English!

I sure don't want to disappoint you, and ask that you try to read between the misspelling that I guarantee you, I will do! If you're from another country and don't understand English real good, then you're visiting the right place! Huh! I know nothing about PROPER sentence formation and all that other crap! Yep! I am a country boy from the Heartland of the Midwest! I graduated high school and English was my worst class, as I'm sure as you can tell! I warn all new readers now, I just took up creative writing, I suppose that would be the PROPER terminology, if-un I was trying to learn to write PROPERLY! I'm an older man, as in way past my prime and I don't give a "Giant Rat's Ass" about Properness. I ain't got the time to learn properness! NA, NA, NA, NA, NA NA! (You must have six NA'S to sound right! Oops! See how I get sidetracked that be ME!) I want to have fun and write EXACTLY, as I think! That's exactly my kind of humor. I wish to put into words, the way I think! When I get wound up talking too friends and family they be laughing. I don't need no alcohol, no drugs, no nuttin! I have always been this way and have fun!

So I wish to WARN y'all out there --- oh, oh, oh. I just thought of something, that I think is important! Well, its important to me! I just love, as in really loove, to see new countries popping up on my stats! It plum warms the cockles of an old man's heart! Oh shit! I best look up cockles in the dictionary, because that doesn't sound nice, please hold -------- are you still there? I'm not done yet, please hold ---- if you're still there, please hold some more. I'm an old man and have to go to the bathroom --- damn, now I'm thirsty --- I'm back and I've lost my thought so I don't care now!

A wee bit of background on me, oops that's enough! Sorry! I sometimes get ahead of myself, especially my mind gets way ahead of my fingers! I don't think my mind has the proper software to go with my fingers! They seem to fuss and fight a lot! Like a couple old married people talking at the same time, not listening to one another! Oh, oh, oh, I almost forgot! I'm partially deaf, always have been, so sometimes I intentionally and sometimes I unintentionally screw up, sorry! I ask for y'all out there to help me, as I try to help myself, by learning to write, by reading in between the lines. Oh! I'm in big doo-doo, that be shit! How about y'all read in between the white space, in between my screwed up words! No, no, no, I reckon that won't work either! Damn! I be in a real predicament now! What the hell can I do? I know! I know! Read my words, but read, real slow like when you was learning to read, because you might have to organize words and sentence formations PROPERLY! Yeah! That be the answer to all my problems! So while I learn to type and spell words, and use proper sentence formation and all that other proper crap, that I did not understand in school like verbs, adverbs proper variations of words as far as tenses! I'm getting awfully tense, thinking about tenses and English! You know after about a year and a half, I see now, this wrestling with the Proper words and Proper everything to do with English sure as shittin, ainna, gonna work for no country boy! Why oh why? Have I wasted a part of my life trying? That just shows you how really crazy this old man is! I apologize for wasting my time and your time! My old dog told me, "you cannot teach an old dog new tricks."   Glen    

1 comment:

  1. Hmmm I don't have a bit of trouble reading what you write. I don't think I would enjoy your blog nearly as much if you suddenly became all "proper" with your language and grammar. That would not be YOU and I like you just the way you are :-)