Dictionary and The Question!

I took a vote from the misfits in my mind. I can feel y'all out there saying to yourself "HUH! Did I just read, what I think I read?"

Before this old boy proceeds any farther. I wish to examine from the standpoint of a person that be piss poor in English, this sentence I wrote! The sentence being. Did I just read, what I think I read? I used the word read twice in the same sentence, BUT TO A SOMEONE WHO HAS A HEARING PROBLEM THIS IS THE WAY I SEE THE WORDS SHOULD BE! Did I just reed, what I think I red? Okay! okay! okay! This makes a lot more sense, than read. Another word since I'mma feeling goood and when I'mma feeling goood, I make up my own spelling of wurds!

Examine, should be spelled ex-zam-un, not ex-a-mine! DAMN!!! Sometimes I think I should make my own dictionary! Damn how the uck, can anybody lurn English as a second language, when those like me have been speaking it, all our life! I ain't evun begun, to talk about all the other handicapped and challenged ones! And they be a lot of them, being born fastur than rabbits! Something in the water or genes or etc.

Whow! I reckun, I got sidetracked BIGtime. (I did that causin I wanted to, okay!) I took a pole of the misfits inside my hed. I don't no exzactly how mene misfits rezide currently. I ask them "to say yea or nay to this questshun. Shude I, stop, this nitlee exzercise in practicun writing?"

Easy enuff questshun, I thot! But noooo! All my innur voyces spoke out at the same time! Spuuked the hell out of me! So I had to re-idiot-rate. "Furstly, I'll ask for only those voting yea to speek. Then I'll ask for the nays to speek up. Simple enuff, ain't it?

Before I asked the questshun, Joe Pesky resident bad ass in my mind said "okay, okay, okay, what the
uck do you want to do that for, you ucking dipstick?"

I told Joe "I have short stories I wish to work on."

Joe's answer "you fricking moron, you can't write, right and know nothing about writing! But that hasn't stopped you so far has it!"

I answer "I reckon not."

Joe ask "why can't you do them both at the same time, you numskull?"

My answer "I only have an hour or so to write before I must go to bed. I'm too tired and in a silly mood to work on my serious stuff, besides, it takes me a couple hours to get my mind in the groove to work on my short stories."

Joe says "Damn work on your short stories on weekends and have fun through the week, you nincapoop!"

So I ask the yeas to speak and they did. Then I ask the nays to speak. The verdict is in, stay tune to tomorrow to see. Nay, I couldn't do that to you, the verdict is [drum roll] Nays have it and I might just take Joe Pesky's advice and try writing the many stories in my head.

Joe's apparently not finished talking and has one more question for me. "What is your favorite short story?"

That's a hard question to answer and I don't think I can. All my rambling and silliness be just as much a part of me as my short stories. As I am bits and pieces of everything I write about and everything I will write about, SO YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET! MY JOURNEY HAS JUST BEGUN!!!  Glen.....
OH! OH! OH! and I'll do it MY WAY!