Been a real, real, REAL . . . rough winter for this old fart! I have been waiting for warm weather and sunshine to break the grips of doldrums, and physical problems of which I found myself fighting. Needless to say my mood has suffered, and I did not want to post the same o, same o shit. You know! bad news, complaining, blah, blah, blah. Damn, we all get tired of that don't we? I will describe in great detail, my latest escapade in Glen View's world.
THOUGHT! Yes we old fuckers do get thoughts in between the senior moments! Have been reading the newspaper and watching some news last week, don't know why, all of a sudden I find myself wanting too. Well now! I'm in the sunset of my life, where the sun is not directly over me head, but, but, butttt . . . We have enough problems in law enforcement1 I do not think a 72 year old man should be a reserve deputy!
OH! OH! OH! I NEVER TOLD YOU THE JOB I USE TO DO WAS IN A COMMERCIAL PRINTING FACILITY, WHO OWNED AND PRODUCED SEVERAL NEWSPAPERS. JUST THOUGHT YOU OUGHT TO NOW SINCE I HAVEN'T WORKED THERE IN SEVEN MONTHS.
Back in early February I lost 18 lbs in one week. How? I hear ya asking! Several times in the last 5 years I was in the hospital for excess fluid retention. Well this here time I wasn't going back to the hospital, no way, Jose! It took me a week, I pissed off the fluid. I lived on, water, jello, oranges, milk, and no salt cashews. I literally cleansed my self body. The excess fluid retention was causing all my joints to hurt, and breathing problems. For 2 weeks after the purging of Glen, I felt amazing, then . . ,. I say . . . THEN . . . I wake up on Monday morning, and me left testicle was swollen twice its size, and let me tell ya, that ainna good! I sit on the edge of the bed and DAMN . . pain shot through the little feller, I mean the new twice the size feller. Me surrounding area you know, the bag area scrotum thing swelled a wee more over the next few days, AND . . . being the stubborn man I is, I waited too long over the weekend my . . . my . . you know it becomes a monster. Sore, painful, I'd reckon! I told myself, "self, I ainna, gonna, go-a to NO damn hospital, huh ah, no way!" Monday morning at 8 am I was on the phone to the doctor. The receptionist ask me, "what is the problem?" I said "my testicles and scrotum are the size of a grapefruit!" She said "you come right on in!" The doctor looked at me, you know, and his eyes widened to the size of my . . you know! He asked, "are you in pain?" "Only when I move and sit!" He gives me a shot of antibiotics, and some heavy weight pills, and to come back in two days. He said "if you have any trouble urinating go to the hospital." Three days that week I go back, and get me a shot in me backside. I'm getting no better so on Friday, he gets me an appointment for 8 am to see a urologist. Monday morning bright and early I'm at the urologist. I be first and weren't no time at all, the specialist be a lookin' and a feelin' me balls! ( That's funny now, believe me wasn't then. Oh! oh! oh! ) (((Should I say this or not! Oh hell I be in a funny mood, I gonna say exactly what I be a thinkin', after all that's the fun of this here writing, streaming, what-cha-ma-call-it shite! This here be the truth and nothing but the truth so help my almost not swollen balls! ))) [ PLACE LAUGH HERE.] After all, if you cannot laugh at yourself, who ya gonna! ]
I do get carried away sometimes and I like it! Yes I do!
I went under water in my journey down the stream of life and was a gonna tell ya somethun, somethun. The part about me scrotum was so swollen it ate me penis! YEAH!!! It disappeared into the swollen mass of my genitals. ( Let me just say there was absolutely nothin' gentle about the whole ordeal!!! )
Doc. said "It'll take about 4 to 6 weeks for this to run its course. After looking at all the meds you have been on in the last several months it caused some problems, a abscess has formed and is causing you much difficulty. Keep taking the medicine your doctor prescribed and I'm going to prescribe another heavyweight one to take along with the other, plus some pain meds. Come back in a week."