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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Moonshiners And MORE!!!

Hello its me, seems I've been gone for a long, long time. I wish to write something funny, that's what I prefer. Since I haven't been to work for about six weeks, I have nothing funny nor upsetting to talk upon. Wow, does work affect me that much, apparently so. My current situation finds me in a very laid back, peaceful, controlled environment.

I paid a visit to an old Bud of mine whom I've not talked to in about a year he is my age and also had a heart attack about a year ago. It was rather fun in a weird way to talk about such facts with him. He is doing well. He actually had surgery where I was lucky no cutting on me just several strange and most unexpected complications which lead yours truly, to two hospital stays in different hospitals. Those of you that read my blog regularly know of my problems so I won't rehash them. By the way my Buddy is writing a book with a very interesting story line. I look forward to reading it.

I've been enjoying the sunshine getting me some natural vitamins from our father Sun. It warms me through and through and revitalizes my white hospital stay complexion. I know why the hospitals are always white. As long as your complexion is not as white as the walls you'll make it!

I slowly feel my body returning to normal. I'm bored to death but not ready for the rat race to return. I must have a new attitude to keep me straight at work when I return. Can I do it? Well I'll shall see! I must tone my way of working and mindset, wow seems soo easy don't it?

Ya see, I have unfinished business, within myself. Simple yet important to me.

Since tests show my heart sound, why retire? Should a little blood clot stop me from working well, let's examine this a mite closer. What are the chances of me passing out again? Slim, most likely! I'm on medicine to keep this from happening.

If I'm healthy enough to work why not? I've worked all my life, it seems as normal as an omelet for breakfast. If I don't eat my cheese omelet will my tiny world fall apart? I know nothing but work! Right now my life is boring, as I recover for, if nothing else but enough health to return to work. I don't want to sit around and watch the boob tube, winter is near, what's a poor boy to do?

I wish not to return to the same environment, yet part of that I miss, I enjoyed it, it be a catch 22 heah??? I love the endorphin effect of satisfying myself and pushing my mind, body, and spirit to new levels. Achievement and simple successes are what keeps this old country boy alive!

ONE MIGHT SAY I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING SHORT OF A MIRACULOUS RECOVERY FROM BEING PASSED OUT ON A COLD CEMENT SLAB AND SHOCKED BACK TO LIFE SEVERAL TIMES! BRAIN DAMAGE FROM LACK OF OXYGEN WAS A REAL THREAT!

To come back from such an ordeal, to merely sit on the sofa, and watch Reality shows ain't for me baby! I know nothing else but manual labor. I struggle with writing a post without the human environment of ideas which all my posts come from. My dreams are gone, hopefully they'll return.

I do have a new idea, I have been watching documentaries of which I love and some of these newer reality shows I've seen. I thought about reviewing them and adding my thoughts and humor like this one I'll write about called "Moonshiners".

                                                        MOONSHINERS

All of us have heard stories about moonshiners, haven't we? Apparently it still is a big business, of that I don't fully understand. why? People still brew this alcohol of 140 proof. Still a big market for it so they run the risk of going to jail. Their stills are placed in wooded areas around water. The Appalachian Mountain area is where this program is being filmed with camera crews following these moonshiners. Ain't that such a fucking hoot that camera crews are actually there, I cannot get over that one fact!

Theses moonshiners are a different breed, outlaws as such, proud to make a living brewing hooch. I suppose the life in the Appalachian Mountains is reclusive with individuality that helped make America. I try to understand but cannot because I live too far away from these mountains. I do not, from my humble upbringing and poor country roots where my grandparents on m father's side lived off the land in a poor county independent of electricity, running water and all modern conveniences, I would visit as a child, they did not know any other life. To be able to live in such an environment is too much realization to the world of today.

I have respect for ones able to live such hard life BUT . . . I HAVE ALWAYS LIVED BY THE LAW AND THE RULES THEREOF.

I remember as a child watching a movie I believe called "Tobacco Road". with Robert Mitchum. I was fascinated by it and as always believe movies are based on some facts and a lot of Hollywood.

Another amazing fact is that the moonshiners built such fast cars, beefing the frame up to hold the extra weight become the forerunners of Nascar.  These true life moonshine racers would find a cornfield on weekends and make their own racetracks.

Independence, ingenuity, outlaw behavior is fascinating and what has made America, AMERICA!
The minutemen in the war for independence from the British was crucial in the freedom for all!

I'm getting a tad sidetracked but that independence mindset still lives today here in the Appalachian Mountains, I'm convinced of that!

Saturday, October 25, 2014

"I DON'T THINK SO!!!"

My,---screaming of consciousness thing, is screaming!  ( ha ha! ) Haven't been writing much, my stream needs emptying! Don't know where my mind is right now, so I'll just sit down and do the stream of consciousness thing. I sat outside in the warm sunshine, man felt good! I've been cold for several weeks now, I suppose my tired old body is trying to turn back the clock with a self-tune up along with the assistance of modern medicine, of which I'm takin' a plenty, 'bout now! I'm not looking forward to my two hospital bills! Good thing I have insurance, huh?

At 72 degrees I could not help myself after a nice ride in the country, I place my lawn chair directly in the sunlight and took off my shirt. Man . . . where did all theses bruises and such on my chest come from? DAH!!! Oh yeah, now I remember it wasn't a bad dream it was REAL BABY! Talk about a reality show! The sun warmed me body and mind, how long should I stay out here?

Talking about reality shows, ah oh, here I go! Since I was confined to the bed during most of my fun time in the hospitals, I dared to turn on the television, yes I did! The shows I come across made me sicker than I already was! OCCASIONALLY. . .  I would run across enlightening, documentary or interesting programs, an occasional movie or old series of my younger years.

SHEESH!!!!! Who the hell produces such crappola as there is on this shit, what ever you wish to call these reality, stupid, fucking, brain lowering trash. I had NO IDEA there was so many, moron programs on. I ran across one from a family I believe was in West Virginia. I watch about five minutes, I was a thinkin'  "is this for real or a joke?" Yeah! I kid you not! A family doing what families do. Why would anyone want to watch me and my family doing our daily living? After about ten minutes I realized it was for real! A REAL REALITY show about REAL everyday nincapoops like me as a television show. How REAL is that, a REAL show featuring what could be our next door neighbors. REALITY at its finest, I must say!

Do I care to watch people on my 42 inch big screen, doing what I could just step out into my yard and watch in full panoramic spectacular.    "I DON'T THINK SO!!!"

Watch Mary Ann Joe Moron text on her pink phone al afternoon!   "I DON'T THINK SO!!!"

Billy Bob has one of them Dodge trucks, jacked up high, but cannot drive it because he won't work to buy gas. He sits around it all day admiring it from the ever changing shade.   "I DON'T THINK SO!!!"

Daddy Leroy Bob works at the factory making automotive parts, then hangs out at the Wagon Wheel Bar and Grill until time for bed, then drunkingly drives home to his pure all American family of misfitting mismatched misfits from his three wives. Yeah, his two first wives run off!   "I DON'T THINK SO!!!"

His third wife Big Bertha drove a truck for twenty years, them hurt her back. Now she eats oxy-cotins and takes care of Leroy's young-ins.   "I DON'T THINK SO!!!"

A REALLY REAL REALITY PROFRAM WOULD OF BEEN TO FOLLOW ME AROUND FOR ABOUT FOUR WEEKS, STARTING WITH MY FALLING ON THE CEMENT FLOOR AND LAY THERE DYING. BABY!!!  THAT BE REEAALL! THEM THERE ONES GIVING ME CHEST COMPRESSIONS UNTIL THE PARAMEDICS CAN SHOCK MY ASS TO PERT-NERT SOMEWHERE'S NEAR NORMAL!  

(((I don't wanna go back to normal, I wanna be smart or somethun you see! ))) 

NOW WHERE WAS I? OH YEAH! LYING ON THE COLD HARD CEMENT FLOOR AT WORK NOT BREATHING AND TURNING PURPLE, THEN THEM PARAMEDICS SHOCK MY BIG ARSE, NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE BUT THREE TIMES!

(((Musta got a new un, they were a chomping at the bit to try it out, yep that makes sense! )))

I WAS TOLD THEY LITE ME UP TWO MORE TIMES IN THE TWENTY MINUTE RIDE TO THE COUNTY HOSPITAL, AND ONCE MORE INSIDE THE HOSPITAL.

I LAY FOR ABOUT FIVE DAYS UNAWARE OF ANYTHING, HAD ME ON SOME GOOD MEDS I'D RECKON! I AWAKE FROM THE WARMTH OF THE DRUG INDUCED STUPOR TO . . . "WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!!!" WHITE WALLS WITH PEOPLE TREATING ME LIKE A PIN CUSHION,   "PUT ME BACK TO WHERE I WAS!"   SO AFEW DAYS OF TEST, NEEDLES, AND SUCH THEY SEND ME HOME.

(((( BUT NO, THERE'S MORE!!! )

AFTER THREE DAYS I'M COUGHING UP BLOOD, AND IMPORTANT INSIDE STUFF. I'M SENT TO THE BIG CITY HOSPITAL FOR RE-RE-PAIRING. UMM . . . I BE IN WORSER SHAPE THAN BEFORE, WELL NOT REALLY, I WAS LAYING ON THE COLD HARD FLOOR OF LIFE NOT BREATHING!

Well, you see where I was a going with this. This here be a """REAL""" baby!

Thursday, October 23, 2014

One . . . against, the world!!!

I sit here enjoying the warmth of the fall day, inside my mountaineer, waiting, yes just . . . waiting. I feel like a bug, as snug as can be, awakened from my winters nap. To appreciate one must understand, one must experience a once in a lifetime challenging, life altering, scene. The canvas becomes more vivid with each passing day. Pieces of the most unrealistic dire situation are slowly put together from others around you in your time of need. A dream, a nightmare, no realty. How can one lose many days of no memory? It cannot be possible! In this drug induced sleep there lies no pain, for the best, I'm now certain. A blank chapter of my life, but I hear from others I was still somewhat there. Most interesting as I search for data of that time, I find nothing. So where and what was I? There is a picture my brother took of me sitting in a chair, that can't be me! How can one not remember a few days, yet communicate the basics, like hot, cold, drink, sit up? Recognize no family members as they sit by my side, never leaving me alone. Ahh! Thankfully I an old fat man was not forgotten! Possibly I opened my eyes and found comfort, not in the white sterile walls that held me, but in the caring loving faces. The drug induced foray into an almost, other world, new beginning, or darkness, was delayed through love, and their many prayers.     

The colors of the fall mums are more so. The beautiful pictures posted on a friends blog are spectacular, like the fireworks of fourth of July! A family's member hug is much needed warmth to an old tired heart, charging that sucker like nothing else. A few weeks ago it was jolts of electricity sent through an worn, tired, tiring of life to restart my vessel. Now the love returneth, as does the zest of living. We live every day in our own zone, a zone of existing in the hustle, bustle world of daily oneness. We do what we must to get through another day, there's always tomorrow! Is that so? We're all so different in our mindset of what life's enjoyments are. We are trapped in a survival mode. The cavemen faced daily death in purely surviving, food, shelter and such. We modern worker bees, face so much more.

The strains of life today kill us as surely as the big sabre tooth tiger of the caveman. Our strains of life begin early, and much more are heaped on as, we grow. I recognize mine, now more than ever as I reflect back. How can we change the past? WE CANNOT! The past is etched at the top of the new blank paper we begin the rest of our life on! The story of the past has been wrote, the story of what time we have left is to be placed on the new, blank page. Ain't that a hoot!!! 

The challenge will be the hardest ever to face. To go back to familiar ground and fall back to a lifetime of learned poor behaviors cannot be done. The mindset of a new me MUST be recognized and dealt with quickly. Yes, has to be that way.

What percentage of alcoholics, drug addicts, the list goes on and on, want to change but fail. Sad am I right. We are one against the world it seems.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Good or Bad?

There is this thought I've been pondering on for quite some time. I cannot seem to wrap it up in a nice, tight, simple, package. Oh well, that's probably is the same as the way I write, so I think I'll meander around, and let the stream of consciousness thing have a go at it.

First off, it's important to remember I have a wonderful imagination, always have and value that along with my dreams as keeping me balanced and somewhat normal throughout my life.

I've mot read any of the Harry Potter books, and believe them so immensely popular many young ones that never read books probably did read this series, and I think that's great! I did watch the first Harry Potter movie and found it delightfully charming. On television last week they played the entire series and  I watched some of all the movies.

The books and movies have been overwhelming successful, well beyond what anyone could of ever imagined. This has created a never ending onslaught of similar books and movies per my belief as the money takes over. This has also carried over to television in a big way!

My question is, has the books and sequels of the many other ones that jumped on that long, long bandwagon been good or bad for the forming minds of the past generation or two?

Friday, October 17, 2014

Just a lollygagging!

I've been home about 8 days, slowly my strength is returning. My sister has been staying with me while my wife works. Seems most unusual as she goes off to work and I'm at home. Haven't had any caffeine nor sugar since the heart attack, Blood pressure is running the best its ever been, around 120 over 70. I'm cold all the time wearing a sweatshirt in the house.

Cold dreary days of fall are among us, trees are turning their individual colors, beauty of the season, changes are here.

I want to write something funny, yet seems I'm not quite ready yet. I feel good mentally, it will come as I get back in the swing of things, maybe an unusual word will pop in my somewhat back to whatever NORMAL is! I know not normal, never have, never will, don't want to! For if normal is what some of the nin-ca-poops I've seen them I wish to stay me, a poor country boy.

I think I'll try my meditation thing, close my eyes and let a word or thought come to me. Trouble is I may go to sleep, that'll be okay maybe a dream will give me something to write about, sooo here goes.

Nothing coherent, but that's me isn't it. Maybe normalcy of me is returning?

How about LOLLYGAG?

Well I see lolli as in lollipop. I see gag as in there is a gag order for keeping his mouth shut, or the lollipop broke free of the stem and almost gagged old Glen.

Old Glen lollygagged too long in the hospital and now he is not worth a shit!  (Yep that a good one! ) Lollygag also means dawdle.

Dawdling about on a cold winter's day accomplishes nothing, but sure feels good.

Drew and Sue dawdle about and are late to school everyday.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Today I watched as my sister and her husband cleaned my gutters and mow my grass. I may have learned a secret here!  While sitting in the 70 degree sunshine, I watch as work is being dome. Huumm . . . I like it. All it cost me was Lasagna!

Haven't learned anything in the last month, except this here old man be stress free. I LIKE IT!

Haven't read a newspaper in a month, please tell me what I've missed!

You know I had an interesting thought today. I'm qualified for full Social Security benefits at 67, would they consider someone who was dead and shocked back to life a few times, eligible for full disability benefits?

My sister and I went grocery shopping today, she didn't think I was strong enough! I had a plan ya see. I had her let me out at the door and I waited on her. I pushed the grocery cart for balance. I've progressed from one of them walkers to one of them 4 toed canes to be able to move around the house un-aided. That's quite a feat, BELIEVE ME!!! in just a few weeks.

There I go get windy, (Oh yeah Glen Bob returneth!)

One of my favoritiest (meant to) sayings is "plan your work and work your plan." I had me a plan at the grocery store. Since my sister was unfamiliar, and I knowsa where everythang be, I stopped at certain spots and let her be my legs.

We took a ride through the countryside on a beautiful sunshiny day, umm, umm, umm, wonderbar! (yep meant to!)

Well back home we made some Lasagna. She said, "I've never made Lasagna before!"

I replied "really, old Glen is a gonna show you!' We made some mighty fine Lasagna and I sent some home with her. On the menu for Monday is a jello cake.

My momma showed me how to cook when I was but a tadpole. My first job was at a restaurant with my great aunt, she taught me more about cooking, and that hobby has lasted all my life. Just one of many hobbies I used to have, but as we age seems the hobbies slow down. We're in too big a hurry and buy fast food, yep we're all guilty!

I'M TIRED AND MUST GO TO BED UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!  Glen

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

The Wind of Death


The death wind blows about, its mighty sword, a tryin' to cut me down!

Although the death wind is mighty, it was up against life.

Seemingly too late the miracle paddles shock back the dying lifeless figure lying on the cold cement of near underground.

Once, twice, the third times the charm, as the heart restarts. Life returns.

Can the damage be repaired, has the brain oxygen's supplied been deprived too long?

Only time will tell.

Ahh! Time . . . a wonderful thing, only . . . if you see it with renewed vigor!

Time to reflect through different glasses.

To see where you are, where you've been, and NOW . . . where you want to be!

Where to go, certainly is not the past!

The future is MINE you see!

Sunday, October 12, 2014

More Of The Golden Light

It's Sunday morning, had a good nights rest and the best breakfast of my life! Getting a mite stronger every day, and my balance is returning.

I love the television series House. I view it in a different light now, even though a few shudders of hospital shots are still too real. It's the character himself that has always intrigued me as he battles himself as much as the curing of the patients. No matter how smart, we all have inner demons and our own way of battling them.

I have not read, nor watched the news in a long time, somehow I don't believe I've missed a thing. I'm positive the same-o, sane-o, bad news is much the same, right? Weather has turned from warm to the crisp coolness of fall. Overcast skies now prevails. After all it's that time, you know.

I'm cold all the time now, as my body tries to re-regulate itself. Medicines and my chronic anemia will improve with time. My mental faculties seem to be de-cobwebbing with writing on this blog, the first blog back was a real challenge, seemed like forever since I had caressed the keyboard. Hope to get some normality, and my sense of humor a going again.

Time seems on my side at this moment of life, time to heal, time to reflect, time to live in possibly ways I've not lived before. Peace rules my mind and soul, the likes of which like never before.

                                                The Golden Light

I'll retell what happened to me in the hospital, was it a vision, a dream or was it real?

While in my local hospital in the intensive care unit, I believe I opened my eyes and at the foot of the bed on my left side was a young well tanned long dark haired woman in her early twenties, opposite her at the foot of my bed was a tall brown, short haired man. Nothing unusual about this. I could see their faces in the light. They were looking directly at me. A light, a beautiful golden light was glowing from behind them, directly behind their heads and stopped at their shoulders.

This happened almost three weeks ago, I remember it as vividly as the moment it happened. I've told this story to my family and they were in awe. They also told me there was no lighting on that side of the room, all the lighting was above my head.

Let's look at the possibilities here.

Possibly a dream, I remember nothing else during the five days of incubation, I was under much medicine.

Could I have come to, just for a few seconds and hallucinated this scene Certainly possible! 

Was it real? Certainly seemed real! Since that day I have spent almost 12 days in that hospital and the best in my state 50 miles north, nothing happened like that again. Mind you I was on a lot of medicine as I was out for about 2 days there.

So how do I explain this beautiful golden light behind two young Angels or Nurses or visions. I truly cannot, and that's what makes it so miraculous to me! All I can say is that at that moment of reality, or visions a peace came over me, I'm still carry it, 3 weeks later.

If you believe in Angels, then be it so.

I do believe in dreams, and my dreams are so real, they are real to me.

I've never seen a vision, if it was, it was so beautiful, I shall carry it till the day I die.

I want you to make of this what you will.

I know what I felt, and that's what I'll carry. I felt love, peace, no pain. YES I DO, BELIEVE SOMETHING SPECIAL WAS MEANT TO BE, AND I'LL BE ETERNALLY GRATEFUL FOREVER!!!  

ONE MORE MOST INTRIGUING FACT, AND I FIND IT A MIRACLE ALL TO ITSELF. WHEN AWAKING FROM THE DRUG INDUCED SLEEP, I FELT NO PAIN, I HAVE FELT NO PAIN EVEN AS I WRITE THIS.  THERE HAS BEEN DISCOMFORT FROM ALL THE PROCEDURES AND NEEDLES AND SUCH. RIGHT NOW AS I TRY FINISHING THIS POST, I'M TIRED TERRIBLY TIRED. I'VE BEEN UP BUT 5 HOURS BUT EXHAUSTION IS NIPPING AT MY HEELS. I GIVE YOU MY BEST UNTIL, NEXT TIME.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

DEEP WATER!

The soul is snatched from the body in the blink of an eye. It now lies at the bottom of a cavern of total darkness, filled with water. Nothing is here, no movement of the deep water, no sound, no light, no life. A place like none other. Why am I here? Confusion reigns. The soul feels nothing of the cold but longs for the body it once inhabited. The body it once shared had been home for a long, long, time. For five dark, lonely days it lay there at the bottom of the deep water. Then it begins to rise slowly at first, then increases seemingly with a purpose. It spews out the side of the mountain over boulders of a sun drenched purifying stream. Just as quickly as it left the body it's back in the old man. The body jumps as the spirit of the man is whole once again. The eyes open and new life begins. Not the life of a newborn, the life of a new chapter, given. Family is there loving smiling faces a glow with the meaning of life itself.   FOR IT'S NOT TO QUESTION, BUT TO ENJOY. ONES GIVEN A SECONND CHANCE SHOULD LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST AND NEVER FORGET THE DEEP WATER OF NO LIFE.

Friday, October 10, 2014

NUTSHELL

I have been through highs and lows recently. I know that sounds so simple and corny, but in ways believe me you don't want to experience! I have  so many things to talk upon and will simply return to my rambling style hoping to get it out. It seems I have a large puzzle piece inside wanting to come out. It's all garbled without coherency, more so from lack of full understanding of the last few weeks. Almost daily Doctor visits have got my body stable and looking to the future of which GlenView will be an integral part of. I have many short stories come to me while I wait away the hours to recovery. Short stories are my favorite but takes more time. I 'll have the time during recovery, and hopefully will get my little used mind of the last month. I pushed myself a tad hard today, visited my mom for a few hours, having a real good time, but then my copper top body went _______ . Time for nappy pooh for me. My mother is 84 and four of us played a card game called 500 rum and she scorched our asses.

I appreciate all the little overlooked details now with great love and appreciation. We take the simplicity of our daily life as forever. it ain't baby! I lost 30 pounds in three weeks. One hell of a diet, I must say! Doubt it will get me anywhere as a diet fad though! Haven't had any caffeine in a month. Blood pressure is as low as its ever been in my life.

"What have I learned?"

"Excellent question, sure glad you asked?

All the warnings, good advice hit me smack dab! Simple yet sure, absolutely no one can understand unless you've been there, AND will, the powerful hit in the noggin sink deep enough to alter the rest of your life? I certainly hope so!

It's as hard on family members as it is you. They become your rock. Solid, caring, whatever it takes to get you well. The love of family is, and stays unquestionable! Ain't that great!!!

I have took a small step forward everyday since coming home Monday. Doesn't seem like much but believe me it is!

Someone once asked me, "do you know how to eat an elephant?" Certainly a strange question!

The answer, "one bite at a time." There sits the road to my recovery, one rehabilitation exercise, one step, one good thought, one day at a time. This adventure in blogging will reign at the top, for I missed it dearly!    

TO ALL MY FRIENDS OUT THERE, I WISH YOU PEACE, FOR THE STRESS INSIDE IS THE REAL KILLER, AND HOW YOU LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT, IS LIFE ITSELF, IN A NUTSHELL!!!            Glen . . . .

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

HOSPITALS, AND HEART ATTACKS! YEP!

Hello, my friends, and I truly mean that! I have been totally out of since the 17 th of September. I had a heart attack about 5:30 p m. I was found at work turning purple. I was given chest compressions until the ambulance arrived. On the way to the hospital, I was shocked back twice, At the hospital I was shocked again, so technically, I suppose, this old man was entering into the someplace else zone three times. ( My own twilight zone!) Now I remember none of this! For several days I lie with a machine keeping this old fart alive, and of course I remember none of this! The tube was removed and me body kick started, like a good but, old Harley Davidson motorcycle. I regained consciousness fully perplexed, mind fog . . . I'd reckon! Even while been told what had happened, it did not seem real. I had nothing to go on, my mind had been shut down. At this point I had been at the local hospital for five days. A battery of test are administered on me. Luckily, no heart damage! A blood clot put old Glen down. The worry was I may have brain damage. You may judge for yourself, while I try returning to myself! I was given blood thinner medicine, a few more days and I was sent home.

BUT WAIT . . . THERE'S MORE . . . MUCH MORE TO THIS STORY!!!  YES THERE IS!

I was home at home a couple days when things took a turn for the worse.  ( I know you're sayin' to your self, " how can it get much worse?")

I begin coughing up blood and continually got worse, I was coughing up small pieces of what appeared to me of very important inner lung. I was burning up, as my body was fighting once again. Another ambulance ride to the hospital. The local county hospital thought it best I was transferred to the big city hospital. There are no beds available, I must wait! After about six hours of seemingly, a week long, I received the worst ride of my life. I have been sweating profusely for many hours and during my hour long ride in the ambulance it continued more so. I swear every bump, and rock on the interstate was intentionally hit! Now I'm at the big city hospital. I went on an obstacle course of sorts arriving in the intensive care. My body is still on fire. I'm being poked and prodded in places where modesty once abound. No modesty in me, looong gone, I'm in the hands of the best in the state. Stuff was comin' out of me from many places. Again, another battery of test, I was given blood due to internal bleeding. A blood vacuum tube was placed in my throat and once again one of them incubation tubes. Many medicine's of which I have no idea later, my vacuum tube and breathing tube was pulled. For two days I have had nothing to drink and my mouth was as cotton. Self awareness of my surroundings was slowly seeping back in. The internal bleeding subsided, blood was getting thicker, vitals better. I was well enough to leave the critical care unit. First real food and being able to sit on the side of the bed lifted my spirits. Much medicine including anti-biotics for a lung infection. A couple days here with improvement, I was moved once again to another room, one step closer to leaving. I returned home Monday the 6 th to my humble but beautiful home. I'll have much more to tell you in the future, right now I grow tired as the last three weeks has depleted my energy level to a place I've never known, I wish to end on a beautiful note.

I was heavily sedated after my heart attack, machinery keeping me alive, a most beautiful happening occurred, I'll leave it up to you to think upon.

I SEE A YOUNG DAKK HAIRED WOMAN STANDING AT THE LEFT FOOT OF MY BED, ON THE RIGHT FOOT WAS A TALL, BROWN HAIRED YOUNG MAN. THERE WAS THIS MAGNIFICENT GOLDEN LIGHT SHINING FROM BEHIND THEM. I SHALL SAY NO MORE. A PEACEFULNESS SETTLES UPON ME AS I RETURN TO SLEEP!