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Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Newspapers and my thoughts

Does your newspaper keep getting smaller? Hell it is not just the diameter, but also the pages. I know it is a dying still unsuccessfully link to the past. I use to work for a family owned newspaper started in 1872, can you believe that? That's just a few years after the civil war. Think about that, the same family generation after generation, built something they could take pride in. Compare that to today. The take what I can get for me.

The news was what the newspaper was all about, was it good or bad, both actually. I'm sure the newspaper persuaded people with their opinions, but also caused people to think about those opinions.

Local stories gave the hometown folk stories, they would never know as well as news of the nation and around the globe. Once upon a time they were extremely important, shame how in just maybe 20 or thirty years, the death of the newspaper is upon us. Every city once printed their own newspaper, most of those are sadly gone, every hometown newspaper of any size at all is fighting for its existence. Circulation has dropped significantly all across the nation.

Times forever changing, yes they are! that's called progress, progress is ever evolving, that's good right? Today's young will gradually grow old, seeing significant changes, across the board in every factor of their lives. They'll look back just as we older ones are doing now.

I was born after WW II and am amazed at what I have witnessed in my short existence. Often I have wondered about what my grandparents witnessed being born in 1900. One thing that stays the same is the greed and corruption of man. Such a shame!

I sit here watching the morning news and could cry at what I see, such a shame! A crying shame!

I blame Lawyers and most elected officials in Washington as they are also lawyers, well it seems like it to me. I was asked who are you going to vote for? We have a billionaire with the mouth of a championship wrestler, another a member of a political family with two presidents, an establishment man and governor, a young one who talks too fast for me, another one who when I see him reminds me of Nixon, who definitely always left a bad taste in mouth. So who is left? A Doctor, that in itself is very interesting I must say. A soft spoken highly intelligent neurosurgeon. Around Christmas my nephew was home from the Air Force, we're having a pretty intense discussion which I thoroughly enjoyed. He is 22 years old, with different beliefs in a lot of things, rightly so being born in modern times. I find him intelligent with hope for tomorrow if many are like him. We both like Dr. Ben Carson which I found amazing especially when there was over 15 candidates on the Republican side.

I'm reminiscing, not about the good old days, just a thinkin' out loud. I believe the smarter  technology gets the dumber we become! Is it just me? I pity some of the fools anymore! ( That's my Mr. T. impersonation! ) I find myself watching more television than I should simply out of boredom. Movies are simply made to entertain us, I think, I know not why some are made. Some, let me be perfectly clear on this, I say "some are pure trash!" Are what there making reminiscent of society or is society reminiscent of the movies?

Sadly what little I venture out into the real world here in the heart of the Midwest, what I see does not change this old farts mind.

I'm rambling I know, that's the only way I know, for I don't have anything specific to write about only what comes through my mind. I wish I was better educated and knew more but I am what I am.

I wish I could block out the world long enough to write something important, for what I witness seems just as mediocre as my little sliver of the pie. As a nation we're going backwards in so many ways, at the same time leaping light years ahead. There are so many thoughts that cross my mind in the course of the day, its like a flash of thunder that leaves just as fast as the strike. I'm simply one and one cannot hold back time until we're ready. Damn it I struggle putting my thoughts down, oh well thoughts cannot hurt us and simply makes us human. At least I still have some, goodnight my friends!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Liberty and Justice for all and.

I have been having terrible trouble as of late. I sit down at the computer, hoping for the automatic writing to take over, it does not. I may get a sentence or two, then whamo . . . nothing. It's becoming rather frustrating, never had that problem before. I'll try playing fun with words, a game I use to love, I would take a word and put my spin on it. I'll try a word I heard on the news tonight.

Malefactor, first thing that comes to mind is max factor, a make up company, or male as in being a factor to a female, or perhaps his dingy factor size, you know. Has a perverted feel to it.

Mal-e-fac-tor, that makes it a whole new ball game. It is a person who commits a crime. I reckon them smart college educated hosts talking about the politicians, think they can use a word like malefactor to confuse us lowly inhabitants of the lower realms. Wow! Since the commentators must tell us the commoners how to interpret politicians and then go and call one a malefactor something or the other.

I been doing a heap of thinking 'bout this. I would just reckon all politicians have shady dealings, especially ones holding higher offices of this here Republic. I suppose shady is not the same as malefactor. One would have to be prosecuted and actually admit to doing something illegal. But what if the malefactor person don't believe they've done anything wrong. The ones who believe their above the law, would not think they did anything wrong. Their too powerful, now powerful people so whatever they call it, would never be a crime. I cannot believe anyone that comes though the political arena and be clean, absolutely clean. Can't be done too many political backers with so much money. No man is that saintly.

Let's take a billionaire businessman. There's no way he hasn't. pulled some strings, twisted some arms. Lawyers find loopholes or ways around everything. That's why the commoners believe them to be dirty dealers.

I saw a movie called Mr. Smith goes to Washington, that movie opened my eyes as to what Washington is like. The scratch my back, I'll scratch your back scenario. Only the good guy won in that movie after all it was just a movie!

I would vote for any one that could pass a lie detector test. I bet not one candidate for President could. How about asking them say 25 questions, and the one with the highest score wins, yeah!

I remember starting in grade school the first thing every morning was this little saying,

I Pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all.

I did not understand the meaning of every word, but I as a first grader knew it was important. There was no problem with the word God, back then.

But it was a different time, world war II was still fresh in everybody's mind. Movies of war played showcasing heroes, patriotism. Stories were told about family members serving, dying, almost all was affected. We did win that war against Hitler and the Japanese, didn't we?

Patriotism was once right up there in meaning. The Pledge of Allegiance and the crossing of one's heart, you might say was crucial in forming a child's mind, teaching loyalty. Mighty powerful words all in one sentence.

The world is so different from what once seemed to simple. We can no longer be the only nation to guarantee liberty and justice for all, why do we try? We are divided, by the words liberty and justice for all.

The poor and needy of the world was the backbone that built this Republic. Smart men with connections crafted a policy of rules to guide us.

Nothing is forever over 200 years later we've been sucked dry and hated around the world. Seems mighty funny because the world wants to come here. We are the world and all the tensions of the world have come here. Other cultures want to make us them, instead of assimilating into us. Today more than ever in my over 60 years of life our government has failed us. Elected by the people for the people, SHIT!!!  That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in this modern world.

WE HAVE BEEN LED DOWN THE PATH THROUGH MANIPULATION. THE UPPER CRUST AS I CALL THEM, THE ELITES WHO THINK THEMSELVES GODS THROUGH MONEY, POWER, DEATH DESTRUCTION, SIT BACK AND LAUGH.

THE POWER BROKERS PLAY MONOPOLY FOR REAL, WHILE FEEDING US THE COMMON PEOPLE REALITY SHOWS!

THE POPE VISITED JUAREZ MEXICO TODAY, THE WORLDS DEADLIEST CITY, WHERE 20,000 PEOPLE DIED LAST YEAR AND 200,000 IN THE LAST DECADE.

WHY IS THAT . . . DRUGS! IF HE WANTS TO MAKE A TRUE DIFFERENCE TO HELP HIS FELLOW MAN, LEAD THE FIGHT AGAINST THIS IMPURITY, THAT ENSLAVES ALL ACROSS RELIGION AND CULTURES. INSTEAD OF A FIGURE, MAKE HIM A GODLIKE, FOR ONLY A GOD COULD DO THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Spin the brain, a few thoughts!

I'm sure every one knows the game show, Wheel of Fortune, it's been on forever. I'm gonna play Spin the Brain. I turn my brain on and see where it goes. Not much happening in my neck of the woods, any more. I must jog some of me synapsey thing-a-ma jigs, get 'er firing. Some people use, illegal drugs, some use legal drugs. I gotta work at it, it don't come easy ( hey that would make a good song! I just watched a documentary made in 2013 about them spice type drugs you can buy at your local convenience store. The drug, excuse me the spice was called skyscraper. It says on the package not for human consumption. Man them convenience stores are so convenient! Gas, alcohol, cigarettes. lottery tickets, caffeine drinks and incense, that's not for human consumption. Lordy! Lordy! Lordy! Is there any wonder, that each generations I. Q. be going down the crapper? Not to me! Another drug talked about was bath salts, I told myself what? Is that the salt you put in your bath water to smell good? It's an illegal drug, another of them new drugs. It hits the synapses and apparently you feel really good.

Caffeine fucks me up, I can't imagine the amount of caffeine the young-ins take in today. Not too long ago mountain dew had the most caffeine. Kids today and adults are drinking drinks with many times that amount. 50mgs. I believe, per a 12 ounce dew. 

I know that adults get addicted to legal medicines. I have read about legal drugs being sold like oxycontin. One young man I use to work with said his wife has chronic back pain and sells some of them. So I suppose I have a first hand account of this. I could not believe he told me that!

I have watched many programs of late about the drug epidemic and quite frankly was aware but I'm mortified at what I witnessed and the dollar amount made by the drug cartels, from around the world. It's not just Mexico, every sleaze bag in the world wants their piece of the pie. Seems to me the war on drugs Richard Nixon began in 1972 sure as hell, ain't workin'!!!

Legal or illegal drugs make so much money it'll never be stop! Too much money and power behind both, who are we kiddin'!

I found a show called Moonshiners. Since I have nothing but time on my hands, I have watched a few episodes. I find it funny, sad and somewhat informative, it has caused me to think some. YEAH! YEAH! YEAH! Anything that causes me wittle brain to whirl even a tad is very important fer us old ones. Yes it is a reality show, but am amused at things that happen, anything that gives me a laugh I like.

First off it is illegal, WHAT? 140 proof alcohol, yep! That would get my synapses firing! These moonshiners sell it, don't pay taxes on it ya see. They drive around in $40,000.00 pick up trucks. I have worked, paid taxes all my life and drive a 95 Monte Carlo, my wife drives a 2002 Mercury Mountaineer. Huum ... seems to me I'm in the wrong business!

What kind a world are we passing off to our children? Sure is sad, the more you try to learn and care, the more depressing it is!

How are these drug addicts getting the money for their habits? Anything illegal I would think! Surely some of these people are not getting money from we the government, ARE THEY? Are disability payments buying such things as drugs?

Just a few thoughts on this day the 12 of February 2016. WHAT WILL THE WORLD OF TOMORROW BE?

I HAVE COME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT WE NEED ALL NEW BLOOD IN OUR GOVERNMENT, FROM LOCAL TO THE BIG LEAGUES. THEY, THE YOUNG SHOULD BE TRYING TO FIX WHAT THE OLDER GENERATION OF LIFETIME POLITICIANS HAS SCREWED UP.

WHILST I'M THINKIN', YOU KNOW WE SHOULD HAVE THE SAME HEALTH CARE THAT OUR SENATORS, CONGREESMEN AND THE PRESIDENT HAS.

LORDY! LORDY! LORDY! THAT MOONSHINE THAT MY COUSIN, RAY EARL FROM TENNESSEE BROUGHT ME IS SURE GOOD, MAKES ME BRAIN LITE UP LIKE THE FOURTH OF JULY!!!

Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Didabled (you read right)

Friday, thank God it's Friday! These weeks seem to be getting longer and longer. Sorry just funning you. I'm didabled, mentally and physically now. Sometimes I quack myself up.  I like that word didabled, kind a sums up what I be a talkin' 'bout. I have had a mental problem for a long time, I won't use them disorders, seems they have letters and disorders for everything. I  use the language that I've honed, working 40 years in factories, I be -ucked up! There be so many didorders I think everybody is out of order. I don't venture too many places any more, don't wanna. Hate going to the doctor, hate going to the store. Here I usta think I had more didorders than other people. I be a tellin' you, ain't so! I'm the one who's hard of hearing. I think sometimes others are speaking a foreign language. Can you imagine two people both with didorders tryin' to communicate. Think about that for a second, tell me that ain't funny. Man! I be a gettin' more red underlining than ever on this here post. I don't care, I'm having fun, as a matter of fact I'm going to leave in every word I screw up. ( You thought I was going to say -uck up didn't you? ) You see I believe they keep coming up with didorders so they can come up with a new pill to sell to treat the didorders, or -uck 'em up, even more. Years ago when their was looney-tune places like state sanitariums, families could just lock the off kilter ones up. Well now the politicians be a wasting so much money on whatever, they let them out, yes they did! So all these drugs are created to fix them ya see, sur-nuff! They get legally prescribed, quality, big Pharmaceutical designer stuff, um-huh! These custom drugs have side effects that are probably worse than the disorder their being treated for. So these ones that are out of order take drugs and who be a payin' for them, Um-huh, we do, put them on disability,

My point, if there was one is, we all could use drugs to get through the day, sometimes life becomes unbearable. Life can screw you up even more than all them damn disorders. Shoot we all can use some miracle, magical elixirs like the traveling medicine man of the old west. Just get drunk every night, pass out forgetting your troubles. wake up with a hangover, take a handful of aspirins and go at it another day, or smoke some marijuana, or do both. The prescription drugs are a killin' us. There's so many wonder drugs advertised on television, how can anyone have a problem, mentally or physically. Ya see they prescribe you something that creates another problem, then there's lawsuits and the lawyers get involved.

Legalize all the illegal black market drugs. Cut out the middle man. That would sure stop all the killing in the drug cartels. Look at all the cocaine, from the south of America, poppy from Afghanistan, that's what the farmers raise over there. Hell with the amount of money spent over there on wars we should recoup our losses. Marijuana sheesh, should be a recreational drug, taxed just like alcohol. I use to hang around people who smoke it, they were good old boys, mellow and fat.

Better still we the USA should take over Mexico. Instead of building factories down there, we should take over the drug cartels with out military, tax the drugs, get rid of all the suppliers selling it now. Maybe we could reduce the national debt. Hey since I be doing a heap of thinkin' after taking my legally prescribed drugs! I take drugs for everything, keeps this old fucker a going.

You know if we're going to spend money for wars like Iraq and not get a dime from all the oil they have, yeah! We spend trillions of dollars and don't get one thing from it. We must find ways to make a profit got to keep America a float. Money don't grow on trees you know. May as well take over Canada whilst we're at it they have that oil rich tar sand up there.

WHY ARE WE PUSSYFOOTING AROUND ANYWAY. WE MAY AS WELL BE THE MAFIA OF THE WORLD.

Sunday, February 7, 2016

Religion

Hello ... my friends. I do mean friends, anybody that continually comes back to visit me, a good old boy from the Midwest is either crazy like  me, or is tired of the every day shit. My two favorite topics are religion and politics. I have been a mite shy about writing about them, I bee a thinkin', ya know I'm not asking anybody to agree or disagree. What I be a sayin' is my opinion, better still I'll say it this way. Everybody is slightly different. That's a newsflash heh? I will give some insight into my fundamental upbringing and therefore how it formed my life. Politics has only come recently, and boy is that a mistake!

Actually I'm perplexed at where to begin about Glen and religion, oh hell I'll just meander around hoping to hit some key spots. Sunday school in the small country church, a former four room house gutted and turned into a place of worship. No modern amenities here, coal/wood stove in the center added coziness in the winter. Sometimes the fire crackles loudly, if the minister was all riled up in his sermon, it would add a big exclamation point, yes it would! Summertime brought out them hand held fans on a stick to move the air around, you know the kind I'm talkin' about, with scriptures and bible pictures of angels and such. Did have electric lights, very few though. Bathroom to the side of the brown church, the type insulated siding you haven't seen since the fifties. Wintertime you did your business right quick, in the summer you looked out for spiders. Paneling like they use to have back in the fifties, dark, plain. a piano by the pulpit, few pictures of Jesus, a board that kept track of the Sunday worshipers. Sunday school for the few children, was a curtain drawn to separate the adults. Compared to any other house of worship, very simple. So was the little country church and how that I remember it. A cross above the entrance, not one of them big religions cathedrals. Simple as the folks who attended. Pastor Shelton worked in the local foundry.

My first recollection of church, I was probably six years old. I still have a mini bible that was a gift
for reciting all the books in the bible in front of the few regular worshipers.

As I venture into what seems to be such a long time ago, almost dream like, maybe another life. Don't know about this type of religion today, but back then this form of religion was very strict. Ministers tend to be very lively, preaching fire and brimstone. Sometimes the fire of God would take the service to a whole other level, people dancing, shouting with their arms held high to God.

People now would be scared, I'm sure, to see such goings on. My grandmother would shout, and run around feeling the power of God going running in her soul. These type services did not happened regularly, but when they did, HALLELUJAH!!! is the only way I can describe it. Another important part is singing, very important, as well as testifying. Individuals would stand up and give thanks to the lord, sometimes this was extremely inspirational, and all felt the power of the holy spirit.

Church service at this little church was Sunday school, Sunday evening service, Wednesday services. Revivals meant seven days a week.

Poor people like my grandma and grandpa on my father's side growing up during the depression had very little. Such as it was back then, nobody spoiled by today's standards could never understand. My grandpa was an alcoholic, my grandma was rather wild, in her younger days, per the stories I was told. She was was a red headed hellion, with a temper that would place cast iron skillets upside family members heads The reason I say this is, they found God and became born again. A new path, remade through believing, faith. By the time I remember as a child they were faithful followers in God hallelujah! They become total opposites of what they once was.

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Please don't make fun of the words and phrases I use. I have nothing but total respect for anybody that change their lives for the better.  I have shied away from this subject for too long! I'm not ashamed of them quite the contrary. I find myself jealous of the few who practice the faith with such compassion and dignity. Praying to God, releases such inner strength into true believers it amazes me.
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I've attended services of many denominations, from the Pentecost to Catholic. I believe there is good people in all faiths. What you believe in comes through the heart. I don't need or want someone telling me what I believe in or think. I already know, I feel it through my heart. Blind faith, taught to the next generation and passed on, and on, is not from the heart it is simply handed down.

There has to be unfortunately leaders, and followers. I have questioned all, since my childhood. Some questions cannot be answered. Science and theology ah! theories. I now live for documentaries trying to understand all things. It'll never happen!

The path seems simple to me, if home is where the heart is, then we should all live in our heart.

Friday, February 5, 2016

What did you do today?

Hello, what did I do interesting today? Let me think, what day of the week is it? Thursday! Yikes! seems like yesterday was Monday. Where did Tuesday and Wednesday go? Man this getting old and lose of time and memory sucks! I must have losing-time-in-hiemers! Hate to make fun of old people but I'm one of them old people. Let's see I got out of bed, s-l-o-w-l-y, went to the bathroom, s-l-o-w-l-y, could not find my glasses, because I could not see them. Took my medicine s-l-o-w-l-y. Let the puppies out, went to put my clothes on, forgot that the dogs were out. One hour later walked by the double doors, heard them barking a strange frantic bark. I forgot them and being that I am hard of hearing, they stayed outside longer than normal, they were a mite cold. I thought "I'll give them a treat and turn on the heating pad." The phone rang, I heard it only because it was right beside me on the desk, It scared the piss out of me, why? because I be hard of hearing, if I'm in the other room I cannot hear it. ("No I do not carry my cellphone with me every where I go. ) I hung up on the phone call, a telemarketer trying to sell me one of them type tubs that makes it easier for us senior citizens to get in and out of with a place to sit our asses on. I was pissed first off, I rarely answer the phone and the one time I hear it, a salesman is trying to sell me such a thing, second how the fuck did they know I'm old, sons a bitches! they probably know the brand of toilet paper I wipe my ass with! After I cooled off and the dogs warm up, everything returns to normal. I realized, I've not had my shower, nor changed clothes. Yikes! I've had a full day of excitement already. Oops! my belly be a growling, forgot to eat. I eat, feed the dogs, I think!!! I eat slowly, clean the dishes, slowly, asked myself "why have I not dressed it?" The dogs go to the door, a process they follow after I fed them. "Their probably discussing amongst themselves "if we go out and poop, is this old fart going to let us back in?" I go to the bathroom asking myself "did I brush my teeth, oh well, if I did won't hurt nothing." As I'm getting into the bathtub, holding onto the support handle I had put on a year or so ago, after coming home from the hospital. I'm thinking "maybe one of them new type old folks tubs would be a good idea!" Finally I'm dressed and don't remember taking my medicine, so I take them. Heard the dogs barking strangely, open the door and ask them, "what are you doing out there?" I go into the living room and turn on the television, flip channels and start watching a documentary about Ancient Aliens. The dogs are on my lap shaking, "why are you guys so cold?" I place a blanket over us and all three of us are visiting nap-town. After a nice nap we wake up, "damn it's getting late why did I take a nap I usually don't take a nap?" I walk passed the door and ask the dogs, "you guys need to go out?" They run to the bedroom, "I reckon they didn't need to go out!" My wife comes home, she ask "how was your day?" I replied "had a full day!" The dogs come out from under the bed when they hear my wife's voice, wagging their tails at the door. She ask them "you guys have to go out?" Which they did knowing they would not have to stay out very long, she would not let them freeze. We eat dinner, watch television and my day was done. You see my days are full, every day's the same pretty much, a week seems like a day, not much to shake up my routine. Me and the dogs live the life of Riley, retired and keeping the recliner warm. It's a rough life but must be done, a job we're meant for. No stress factors for me you see. The stress on them is staying outside in the cold longer than they would prefer. They hold no grudges as they get to lay with me under the cover in our recliner.

Thursday, February 4, 2016

FIX THE PROBLEMS HERE FIRST, THEN THE WORLD!

I have many post partially done. I have found that somewhat helpful I can complete them later when I'm in a different or somewhat the same mood. Sometimes my mind is blank like my poor old mother's. That's a joke I have talked about on here a couple times. I asked her one day "what are you thinking about mom?" "She replied nothing."

Me and my 4 pound Yorkie "Rambo" made it to the grocery store to stock up on my diet supplies. I lock the car because I'm afraid somebody may try to steal him. He's my little buddy.

I told myself "self . . . your not going to watch the show about O. J.!" Damn! I tried not to! Yes, I truly did! I could not help myself, I had to! I was at a low point in my life when the trial was going on. I was at home, not working, people get hooked on them soap operas and must watch them everyday, you know. I got hooked on this, really hooked. I'm sorry I apologize. I did say my mind was altered at this point in my life.

Cuba Gooding as O. J. Simpson, John Travolta as Shapiro, on television, two movie stars I could not believe it. I had to watch it! It took me back around 20 years, that feeling of watching the trial all over! We don't know how true it is, you know the Hollywood spin. Reliving that time the mistakes made, seemingly by all, was a sad commentary. Was justice served, well depends on whether your black or white. People were right down the middle, whites upset he got off, blacks happy he did.

The Rodney King beating at the hands of several white officers, the image is engraved in my mind, absolutely atrocious. Riots prevailed as the officers got off free. Rodney King sued and awarded a substantial sum rightfully so. Los Angeles suffered greatly after that verdict.

Flash forward to today is the racial healing done? Absolutely not, nor will it ever be, add to this the different cultures from around the world coming here has exploded, while the United States implodes.

The sanctuary cities, that do not follow the laws, add fuel to the fire. When I first heard the words sanctuary city, I said "what?" Laws made but not enforced leads to chaos.

I have been watching some documentaries about drugs in the U. S. Where does these drugs come from, guess? We need our military fighting the war on drugs on the borders. Solve another problem at the same time. Be serious about winning for once.

Just today on the news they gave a stat that blew me away and I have been watching shows about drug usage in the U.S. the last one was about San Francisco. This city has real problems, mafias from many cultures fight over control.

The stat was last year in New Hampshire there was 400 deaths from over doses. That a hit of heroin
is so cheap you can buy it for $5.00!   

ENOUGH FOR TONIGHT, WE AS A NATION HAVE MORE PROBLEMS THAN WE CAN HANDLE. LET;S START SOMEWHERE AND FIX  ONE THING. IF WE CANNOT SOLVE OUR OWN PROBLEMS, WITHIN OUR OWN BORDERS, HOW THE HELL WE GONNA FIX THE WORLD?

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

I'm a rambling man

I've been writing everyday, that's right, been trying to get back to where I once was. Doubt my writing is any better. I shall never write, right as in what I was taught in school. Funny how it didn't mean anything, just a way of passing until I was out of school. Absolutely loved learning until middle school. Grades were really good, I loved to read, that was my escape. Things happen in life that change us forever. Can't change that can we? I look backward and see my life so clearly, now! Trying to forget about certain points of the past, doesn't seem to work. Funny how a thought buried deeply will resurface at the strangest moment. Emotions of a particular point surfaces with the same magnitude of yesteryear. Amazes me for a second and I change my mind to something else entirely, like caressing my dog, its gone as fast as it come.

Here I sit thinking about my first day of school, almost 60 years ago. Afraid? No. A new challenge, before you know it I'm 18 years of age, high school under my belt.

I must prime my brain to get the synapse a firing, ain't as easy as it once was. My mind is still in grade school, my body is still functioning. When I was 18 I was the rabbit, now I am the turtle. Not complaining just writing a little story, automatically coming from the caverns of me noggin. ( That be brain. ) Seems to me I have been starting my post with some humor, then I go wherever, or whatever, I don't care just let it flow, baby.

My Yorkie Rambo, all 4 pounds of him, never leaves my side. At this moment he's asleep within a foot of me laying on my mouse pad, yep he's that little. Pretty damn brilliant when your that size you need a big body for warmth and protection. My other dog, Taco, a Chihuahua, likes to play but he's twice the size of Rambo. Rambo will use me as protection from the bully. Taco will lay down to be on the same level, they'll play, if Rambo is in the mood, if he's not a certain bark will warn me and I'll have to be his savior. Wow, must be nice to have a savior. There a heap of fun, they keep me alive in more ways than one, if you know what I'm saying. Probably have kept me going, there are days where I just don't see a reason to get out of bed. "Oh no!" thinks Taco, he manages to get in my bed and starts jumping all over me, "get up, get up, you lazy master, time to play!" I'm a child again laughing at him, until I roll over and get out of bed! Animals are literally lifesavers for some people, I'm in that group.

You don't mind if I just ramble do you? I was diagnosed a long time ago with manic depression, today seems everybody uses that excuse to not be productive. Those of you that have read my blog for a spell can probably see that in my posts. I sometimes will think both sides of the coin. It becomes quite entertaining at times, at these times I can laugh at myself. Others times it's not fun, take my word for it. I love it when I'm mellow, I hate it when I'm you know . . .

Some days I'm relaxed as if I was partially drunk, on these days I'm a bit of a klut, you know knocking things off a shelf, table and such. On these days I must be careful, I have fell and won't drive. I'm not sure why, low blood sugar I suppose. I have been trying to eat much better. I've give up, sugar completely, well that's almost impossible! Don't eat bread, potatoes, pasta or drink milk. This winter I don't want to leave the house, don't have to, so I don't. You see every time I leave the house seems, I must go to a fast food joint. Badd habits die hard. I figure it be best to kill off them badd habits a fore I kill off! Sugar and chocolate has always been my downfall.

Some days, my innards are plum riled up. I've been trying to figure the why of that out. Once again I believe old habits die hard. My lower back has been hurting for awhile . When I'm in one of these antsy spells I've noticed, I don't sit properly, favoring the right lower back. I'm aware of this and try to readjust, seems to be helping. I will take a few really deep breaths and my upper chest seems to relax, making me sit more relaxed. May seem silly but I'm trying to be aware of these bad habits.

I do find it extremely difficult, if not impossible to keep my mind on the same track. I have revisited some of my older post and it does not seem like I wrote them. One that comes to mind is Snake Oil Pitch, I continually get hits. I'm amazed, thrilled actually. In reevaluating that post I chuckled. I will give them automatic writers credit for that, I'll tell you what I want them to help me out more.

I INTEND TO KEEP PECKING AWAY HOPING FOR HELP FROM SPIRITS, WHOMEVER. I LOVE HAVING A HOBBY WHERE I CAN EXPRESS WHATEVER IS ON MY MIND. I'VE COME TO THE CONCLUSION EVERYBODY HAS FEELINGS THEY DON'T WANT TO ADMIT, PREJUDICES, IDEAS THAT MAKE US SEPARATE BUT NOT EQUALS. MOST ARE NOT EVIL, DAMN IT WE'RE HUMAN!!! THERE ARE THESE TYPES OF ISSUES I TEND TO STAY AWAY FROM ON MY BLOG. SLOWLY BUT SURELY I'M GONNA GET AROUND TO THEM. IF NOTHING ELSE JUST TO GET SOME THOUGHTS GOING FOR A FEW SECONDS ABOUT WHATEVER.

I'M ATTEMPTING TO READ THE BIBLE, SOMETHING I TOLD MYSELF I WOULD GET AROUND TO SOME DAY. CHECK ONE OFF MY BUCKET LISTS, YOU KNOW. I HAVE A CHRISTIAN UPBRINGING BUT NEVER FELT GOOD ABOUT A LOT OF WHAT I EXPERIENCED IN AND AROUND CHURCHES, AND THEIR FOLLOWERS. I LITERALLY COULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT MY FAMILY'S EXPERIENCES AND MY DETAILED THOUGHTS CONCERNING THIS.  I HAVE SHIED AWAY FROM THIS KNOWING, THIS IS SOMETHING YOU DON'T WRITE ABOUT. WE'RE SO CONVINCED THAT HOW WE WERE RAISED IS THE ONLY WAY. I FIND THAT NOT ALWAYS SO. CHILDREN IMITATE THEIR PARENTS AND FAMILY. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS!

I believe that, we must come to terms with ones self, following the heart first and foremost! The experiences we come across after living life is so valuable. How can one throw away these valuable tools, emotions, evaluating, understanding what the heart feels every day.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

At peace ... but still thinkin'

I'm about as relaxed as I can be. Content, at peace. What's the matter with me? Is it curable? Hope not! I wish to get back in this world of writing. I have been having some amazing dreams. One is like a novel slowly developing. Not the same dream, but chapters coming to me. I will forget the last one on this subject, then my latest continual dream will jar the other ones from as much as two years ago. The feelings that overtake me with these dreams are unlike the emotions in my real life. All senses, every hair on my head, every cell in my body explodes. The levels of love, hate, happiness sadness, internal doubts I've carried a lifetime, the, thought I've held as theories, my thoughts on empowerment, is breathtaking!!!

I have thought recently, well like maybe a year or so. What if we die while in dream state, and we continue the dream in death. We enter another place where our energy source continues. Not as heaven but continue in the world we're dreaming about.

I for one would like that! I can not believe there is nothing, "that's all folks!" I stay away from all the educated doctrines, this is my thought, my thinking, mine, you see.

I do not believe the missionaries around the globe, are doing the right thing. Let the people believe in their ancestors, their history. Why do we force the savages to be like us. Why? I don't see that all through history, the most popular, doctrines have done a lot of good to the spreading of what is referred to as the ten commandments. Every day and since the very beginning, the great powers of the mighty be it, any doctrines, are for control. Just as Kings, tried to keep his peasants in control, by fear or force or many other domineering psychological means.

Move forward in time, a new place thousands of miles away, new land, a new nation is built. Money is found for a new start. The natives already here are curious of the new intruders. What do they bring? History tells us the slaughter of the people and their ways. There savages . . . who says? Not me!

World powers fight over the new territory, once more we all know that from history. Ah, how do we know that history the way it's reported is correct. I once believed that every thing taught to me by the knowledgeable ones was the way it is, and was.

Generation to generation, stories, believed to be truths are told, passed down. Does no one question, few do.

Enter the latest erupting volcano of control, ah, the modern form of politicians in this new utopia. After much fighting, death, destruction, which most assuredly incudes the savages that were here, a new nation is built. Seems that's always how it works, New kingdoms to command, ones of money spread their cheer, their ways of worship, thinking, and so on and so forth.

This will be a democracy, where any and all things are allowed. Monumental, cathedral structures are built. Look at us!

Every country, every man wants part of this. Why not? "Land of the free, home of the brave." The old west mentality. Everybody is thriving, the promised land. Railroads cross the country.

A civil war, in the promised land, hundreds of thousands of men are killed. Does the history books tell the story properly? Who knows! In a few hundred years, this new civilization of money and worship has killed off the rightful people of the land, killed off hundreds of thousands of their own brethren. Why? In the name of ????  Millions of buffalo killed. Indians forced to reservations.

The civil war had to be about much more than slavery. Who decided to bring the slaves from Africa. They did not cover that in my school. It was as though they were always there to me.

Such atrocities I have talked about!