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Thursday, April 20, 2017

I SHOULD A KNOWN BETTER (conclusion)

Where was I? It's been six months since the first part of this post, six months a mere sniffle in time, seems to me anymore.  Never one for regular dental visits, pain however overrides fear, in my book anyway. I open the Dentist's door, deep breathes, fear placed on the back burner. Almost instantaneously I find my body hovering above the dental chair. (A wee joke, you see, hovering instead of sitting.) X-rays confirm the damage. Infection, bridge broken, filling pulled out. Why should my teeth be good when the rest of my body is a scrapyard. I leave with a prescription of antibiotics, scheduled to come back in a month after the infection clears up. WHATT!  No pain pills! Other people get pain pills, why not me? Thi old man is in pain, what do you have to do to get pain pills. I suppose old people must suffer while others get their addiction quota!

One of the many, many things I have been learned the hard way in my many, many years. (I kind of like that last sentence.) Why pray tell do you have wisdom at the end of your life, than earlier when you most need it? Any way, "As your teeth goes so does your health." So it seems, so it goes, so I have read.

Before I could leave, actually while I was still in the dental chair a plan of attack for repairing my teeth, wrong . . . I want them suckers pulled!

While getting x-rays the insurance person was keeping busy with my plan and payment for the rest.  What pray tell does ones do without insurance? Suffer I'd reckon! My wife uses our part of our yearly allowance on our dental plan, tain't much, but better than nothing!

Next visit to the house of discomfort. I was sweating before I walk through the door, gonna pull 10 teeth today. Wowza, that seems like a lot o teeth, yes it does! My mind were made up and I be ready! Lord have mercy! Pulling, cracking, sounds like some kind of grinding. I was afraid I was going to pee my pants! He was doing some stitching, what the hell did he do? I must have some gushing of the red stuff! Yikes just when I think I'm at the end of my rope, the magic words are said "DONE" I mutter or at least I attempt to mutter "bathroom." I'm normally light headed, but with my head tilted back for what seemed like eternity, I was woos-ier than normal, yep! I have to climb some steps being as how their rooms of terror are in the basement, thinking "that ought to be fun!" After what was several minutes of emptying my bladder, pressure equalizes. I see the damage, meaning the money it was going to cost me after the insurance pays. I bob and weave to my SUV. I have in my hand a prescription for hydrocodone, yee haw! Hi-ho-hi-ho off to the drug store I go! I did not want to wait so I told them "my wife will pick them up in a few hours." I was feeling no pain AT THE MOMENT. By the time I got my pain pills it felt like 10 tiny people were a jackhammering on each tooth!  What a day! Pain eases but the bleeding won't stop. I go to bed and wake up choking, blood all over me and my blanker, lordy, lordy! I go to the Dentist office first thing. Doctor Dentist says "put tea bags on it." I'm thinking "he must have a screw loose!" I thought maybe more stitches, but tea bags, bloody tea bags! So I get my tea bags and they done the trick.

Next visit he checks my gums, The next visit 6 front teeth are pulled and my upper dentures are placed in, no problem with bleeding.

Yep! I should a known better and took better care of my teeth. You know there are a lotta things in life that we should a known better. Oh well! I'LL JUST CREEP ALONG WITH MY CANE UNTIL "THE BIG ONE HITS" AS RED FOX USED TO SAY"   

Monday, April 17, 2017

NOTHING

I know it's been awhile. From October of last year seems only a couple weeks in Glen's time. I shall make an attempt at where my mind has been a roll out any and everything that comes gushing out of my head. I made fun of my mother who is in here late eighties. I questioned here one day as we were4 sitting on here front porch on a beautiful 80 degree June afternoon. Momma I ask "what are you thinking about?" She replies "nothing, absolutely nothing." Like the pesky son that I am, I did not like "nothing" for an answer. Ya see I have been trying for a couple years now to get inside her mind, I wanted stories of her life which I intended to post her on Glenview. She would say, "I don't remember." I found that unsatisfactory, ya see she a smart woman who was dealt a bad hand in her life, stuck with a joker as a husband, she still rode the hand out as ones of her generation did. Growing up during the 30's, or "the great depression as they would say." Almost every time after trying to get her to open up she would say "you'll have to ask Marvin." Her younger brother. Well now, I did not want to hear it from Marvin! I wanted it from the horse's mouth you see. I wished to open the flood gates, hoping to have stories gushing out like the floods of springtime.

I asked her "didn't you go to school in a two room schoolhouse where children would go until the eighth grade?" "Yes" she replied. Not quite the answer I had hoped for! The only other facts I got out of her was, it had outdoor bathrooms and a hand pump for water, seems everybody carried one of them fold up metal cups for retrieving water. This is the type of facts I wished for the form the foundation of stories about yesteryear, as told through my momma's mind. Imagine a two room red brick schoolhouse which was the mainstay of the country school system back the. Many of these structures were still standing in my younger days. Few remain, a handful still stand, a vivid reminder to those who know what they was once used for. A solid structure, outhouses, a well. WELL, seems a teaching young minds were a might simpler back then! She, like her father were hard working doers not talkers. Imagination, playing, having fun, did not fit into her life per what little I know of her upbringing. She the oldest child was buried deep in chores and hard work. Being big sis to four siblings was foremost in her formative years. Her mother was a small sickly woman as little as I gathered through the years. Helping to raise her brothers and sisters, helping her mother, raising a big garden, canning the fruit provided from the earth was her task. I believe that was referred to as responsibility, so you can see why she was the person she was. The helping of family necessities were ingrained in her. Simply went from her upbringing to bringing up her offspring. Seven children later, retiring at the age of 70, another necessity required of her because of a mistake in judgment at the age of seventeen. (Hey, that's another story.) Factory work her whole life to keep a roof and food on the table for her family. Losing two children od the seven also shaped her, it has too! All I shall tell you about my father at this time, he was a flawed man his upbringing was the opposite of my mother's.

Wow! that came out quick and wrote itself. I'm trying to explain where I rather my mind has been for  six months now. My mind, apparently like my mother has been in hibernation. I know now what she was referring to when she answered "nothing" to my question on the front porch.

She has known responsibility, a beautifully fantastic trait. I reckon her mind has never been her own or so it seems to me, handling the responsibilities of whatever came her way.

I opened the computer for the first time in a long time. Why did the words in front of these spring up. "Most interesting" I might say. I hope as springtime is here my long winter's nap brings forth many more words. The last six months seems only days, no more than a few weeks. My last post about getting work done by the Dentist I shoulda known better seems so fresh. I do know what "nothing means," only I don't wish to return there!

My mother is judged by the content of her life, the responsibility she was made of. I have known many people from her generation. I admire them. The person I admire most in my life is my mother, next is her father, my grandfather. Quiet, hard working. Strong to have survived when others would have folded.

In summation, I like to type whatever comes, it's the attempt to make perfect in my words that bore me. I ask you to overlook the clumsiness of my writings. For I am but a poor clumsy man from my upbringing of a poor school system of the finest buildings money can buy. I never had the chance to go to college, never was a dream from the beginning, no one in my family did. I am a product of my environment and have many stories to tell. I have been blessed my whole life with very vivid dreams and imagination, they're back!!! 

Saturday, September 24, 2016

I Should A Known Better!!! (Part One)

I sucked up my fear of Dentists Thursday after a couple weeks of pain, I gave in. I love peanuts especially the trail mix kind. Not too long ago in a galaxy far away,   (Sorry about that, that was where my mind went so I took you there!) Not too long ago maybe three weeks or could of been two days ago the way time is in my daily life. Non the less I have not had any peanuts in a while.  I chomp down on them like a pig to slop! (Yikes! I seem a bit silly this morning must be the antibiotics and pain meds.) I ate the whole bag several ounces, should a known better! Never one to be known for thinkin', if it feels good do it! That was in my younger days, now well you get the picture! Now I'll take, satisfaction, pleasure, any good feeling any time I can get it. The trail mix taste better than a $30.00 prime rib, umm, umm good! Lost a tooth not too long ago from popcorn, don't you just hate it when, you're watching a good movie eating popcorn and Lordy! An un-popped kernel, bringeth tears to your eyes, can't even say the f word! Well this one done some real damage! That sucker was loose and I decided I'll leave it alone for a few days, to see what happens and you know how much I love Dentists!!! It kept getting looser, I kept my tongue working on it, not intentionally, I'd find my tongue massaging it and tell it "to stop!" Just like children, they do the opposite of what you tell them! I was eating a few days later and that damn tooth just came right out of there! Yes it did! I said "Damn! probably just saved $500.00 and some discomfort."

So my latest go round eating things that us old people probably should not a even be eating. I have been eating nice soft food like, apple sauce, mash potatoes, you know soft food. I believe them almonds, (sometimes I feel like a nut some times I don't!)  sorry 'bout that!  I find myself under the influence of too much apple sauce, I mean a couple extra meds.

I have a bridge on my right side, from habit that's where I chomp away on hard foods such as peanuts. Broke the back side of my bridge and the side of the tooth behind. Well, everybody knows, a broken bridge is not good. I began the fretting of having to go see a Dentist. Done went and destroyed me bridge and the tooth beside it. I be in a world of shit now!

Should a known better, yes I should a!!!

The tooth behind the bridge has a filling in it, too much thinkin' can get one, especially an old fart like me in trouble!

With the insurance we have today, not too good, We have a $6,000.00 deductible, just a few years ago it was $500.00. Obama has done wonders for us the lower middle class working people ain't he?

Okay, now where was I? So I broke me little bridge from a hard nut, most likely one of them hard ass almonds, the filling is still intact in the other one and the bridge seems to be holding up okay.  (Notice how I started the last sentence off with okay and ended it with okay!) No real rush, right? So naturally I put it off too long! Woke up one morning with blood on me pillow and the side of my mouth, I thought "what the hell?" The filling had come out, oh shit!

Should a known better, yes I should a!

What I'm about to tell you is a true story that happened in the town I live and grew up in, it was on the front page of our newspaper. A Dentist from one of them national chain Dental offices, was working on an older man in his fifties, pulling a tooth, apparently the man had a bad infection and the Dentist had to pull several more than any one expected. The wife wondered what was taking so long and checks on her husband, she saw blood everywhere, and she 'bout has a heart attack. She calls 911 and takes him to the hospital, yep what do you think 'bout that?

So I be a fretting about fixing my little bridge and the tooth behind it and you just know . . . their gonna find plenty of other work on this old fart that has not taken good care of his teeth. I be a sweating it and putting' it off.

Okay here is the quandary I was in. Do I put a shit-pot full of $'s in an old man's teeth or do I just yank them suckers, all of them. I thought about it and thought a whole lot more.

Should a known better, yes I should a!

Whilst I be doing all this thinkin', not only did I get a headache, I got a toothache, and my sinus's we're rebelling! Now I decided it be the right time to go see Mr. Dentist.  TOO CONTINUE!

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Odontophobia! (Crikey)

I come to you today in great pain, I have never written before with such a jaw, sinus headache type pain. I should go to bed but don't wanna! I put off going to Doctors as much as possible especially the Dentist. I have a fear of Dentist, you see. No . . . I really do! Odontophobia is what it's called I think. I prefer I hate the Dentist. Scraping, drilling, pushing, with strangers sticking their hands in your mouth, gives me the hee-bee-gee-bees! I come from a very poor family and at a time when Dentistry was not practiced like it is today, preventatively I mean. There was a Army Dentist called Dr. Pushor, well he'd just jerk that bad tooth out whilst my parents held me down. Yep! that's my first experience at Dentistry! They didn't even give me a shot of whiskey, like on the westerns before surgery! HA HA!  I may be exaggerating a little but very primitive unlike today. Luckily I brushed my teeth regularly after that, and was good until about the age of 22, as best as I can recollect. Had another tooth pulled. In todays world of perfect teeth and prevention this seems so archaic, but poor people did things differently, why? because they knew no better and did not have insurance. My Momma wore dentures by the age of 30. My Daddy was missing a few teeth, some were pulled by old Dr. Pushor and some were knocked out from Bar fights.

(It were a different time in my hometown and  bar fights be another story, I hope I don't forget to write about!!!)

Golly . . . where was I headed? Perfect teeth, although hugely important was not number one, because of money and insurance, lack of, you see! (No Obamey Caring back then, you know!!!)

Dad-burn-it-all-to-hell, forgot once again what I was going to say!

I tried taking care of my teeth, well in my later twenties because my Momma lost her teeth I decided to go see a Dentist regularly, found me a new one just in town and done the works. I needed several things done and since I had first rate insurance I said "let's do it right!" Took right good care of my teeth, yes I did!

You know there is nothing quite like a person, well a woman with a nice smile and beautiful teeth. She smiles and you see them pearlie whites shining, just looks so nice1

 My family the older ones had no teeth, wore dentures, or when they smiled it was frightening. watching.

Never stopped them at supper time, they'd be gumming or two teething the corn bread and beans!

Several years back this whitening of teeth become the craze. I've seen women news anchors, opening their mouths so wide with them sunny bright smiles, that's all I could see, especially if they had dark skin. On my old tube television I would never of noticed that, but when with my new big screen high resolution television, damn, baby!!!

Had me a point when I began this little ordeal in writing, lets see I started off, let me go back and check because I did forget. It's not old age, it's just the way my mind really works and it has slowed down immensely in the last several years. It burnt out long ago!

Pain, dental phobia, as in  O-DON'T-FUCK-WITH-ME-A-PHOB-I-A! I mean Odontophobia, that be a mouth full ain't it?  There is more I was a gonna write a, but I'm going to the Dentist tomorrow and I'll keep you posted.

Saturday, September 17, 2016

I just don't understand!

It's been a week since I sit down at me computer, I can hardly believe that, seems like only a couple days in Glen's time. I have nothing to base my days on, I basically do the same thing every day, so every day seems the same. That's kind of interesting and scary at the same time. Don't rightly recollect what day it is or the date. No need to I suppose. Haven't been watching the news, seems I'm stuck in limbo or la-la land. Actually la-la land is a nice place to be, no worries, no ups or downs, just hanging in there surviving. Nothing wrong with that is there?

The earth is still turning, wow just sit back in the swing and swing away. That is a learned process, which has taken me a heap of time to get used to. I was always used to going faster than my mind could go and making sense of it all. I'm here to tell you "it don't make no sense!"

Two years ago the 17 th, of this month the world as I knew it come to a standstill. If not for an old Army Sergeant I'd be dead, he literally breathed new life back into me after a blood clot stopped me dead in my tracks. A most interesting experience I wish not on no one. Many jump starts from them paddle of life chargers, thing-a-ma-gigs and I'm charged for life like the energizer bunny! Half a month in two different hospitals returns me not to normal, but somewhere in between, whatever normal is?

Friends and relatives are dropping like  . . . you know. We all have expiration dates, sooner as in accidents, later as in old age or illness, we're headed to wherever. Sad but certain fact we cannot stop.

I struggle to make sense of the world I find myself living in. Simply put very little makes any sense at all. I feel like an alien in my own little world. Seems common sense, simple solutions to simple problems have become so bloated, no amount of Gas-X can cure!

I'm ready for whatever lies beyond this world, simply to get off the merry go round. I tire of simply turning in circles as the world is out of focus all around me.

I do not understand even my closest friends and family, perhaps that's because I'm not out there in the rat race anymore. Glad I'm not! I watch, read listen, thinking I'm hard of hearing but the world is simply F'd up! Any national newscast confirms that. I see things from a different light, perhaps I'm just set in my ways but the problems I see are solvable but "ain't no one working on them!"

I once heard this saying "it takes a village to raise a child." You're saying "WHAT!"

I have no idea what it means, unless, people working together for the good of one creates a whole village that works together. Damn . . . that does make sense! Ain't never gonna happen baby!

Saturday, September 10, 2016

Laugh along with me!

Can't sleep so thought I would try and type a little somethun, somethun. I will warn you Just like I used somethun, I absolutely love to play around with the spelling of wurds. "Why?" Thanks for askin'. I haven't the foggiest idee. Welll that's not entirely true. Once again I remind you I have a sisnificant hearing loss. I've had hearing problems all my life. Didn't know I did, till I did not pass the hearing test in school. So the school sent me to the Doctor, Doctor give me the news.

(Sorry a wee funny, well at least to me, reminds me of an old song, please bear with me as I feel a mite wild, lack o sleep I reckon!) Cannot be lack o sleep I sleep more now than ever!

The family Doc. was an old Army Doctor, no fancy, smancy tests back then. This is when they give you a shot for everything, he checks my ears and did a verbal hearing test with his back turned. Thank God no shot, said "some hearing loss, but okay, recommend to sit up front in class." So every hearing test it was the same o same o.

Dad burn it, I lost my train o thought, talkin' about the hearing shite! Where the hell was I? Oh wasn't talkin' 'bout nothin' no how!

Had me a good day if-fin I took out having the shits! You know the diarrhea thing-a-ma- bob. Wow that'll sure clean you out! Hahaha. This just proves I'll talk about anything, maybe I should be a Political Advisor!

Let me tell you what I witnessed the other day. I was at the grocery store and watch a little old lady come out of the store in one of them scooter carts for people that you know have problems with walking, back, whatever. Anywhoo, I watch her while I was writing down my grocery list. She drives to the back of her van unloads her groceries, then she takes off the front part of her scooter, then she takes off the seat. So we have like one third of a scooter left, she picks, what remained up and places it in the van. Yes she did! I kid you not! I was in shock! Now I'm no expert in people scooters but damn! This part had the battery, and batteries to run that ain't light! Let's imagine for a minute, please imagine along with me. If the scooter weighs say 100 pounds and she reduces it by half, I cannot see an old lady, especially with some kind of affliction picking up half, can you. Lets take it a wee further, say what's left weighs 35 pounds. Dead weight, placing it in the van, well she's still a pretty good old lady I'd say!

I'd like to see what she bought in the grocery store and ask her what she eats. I would start eating whatever super food she's on. She can't have a back problem, or heart trouble. "Yikes" is all I can say!!!

Friday, September 9, 2016

Head out the window of life.

How you doing? I did not watch the Matt Lauer interview with the two Presidential want-a-bees. No sir-ree! I could not make myself do it!

The corn is turning brown, the days are shorter, seems summer just gets started and fall is upon us. I took a ride out into the country today with my sidekick  Tigger (Rambo) all 4 pounds of him. There is this one spot where corn covers all four sides at a stop sign. From green to brown it is a sight to behold. Then the farmer picks it and the fields look so empty. The ground has done its job giving life for countless people. It's magical if you really think about it. May finds planting of a small kernel in the soil with proper moisture it grows to 7 foot tall, in just a few months. If that's not something, I don't know what is!

Since springtime I like to take a little ride everyday. I row the windows down and enjoy the fresh air. I'm like Tigger he has his head stuck out the window the wind in his hair. Other the other side I take in the goodness of simple pleasures. Even on hot days the breeze keeps us cool, a cold ice tea also helps, he has his own ice water, whoo-wee, were good baby!

I mow grass most every day. Tigger sits in the car my Mom's old Monte Carlo our favorite riding around in vehicle. I park it under a shade tree and he watches as I work. He has the life doesn't he, all he has to do is look cute, whilst the ugly must do the work. Haha!

Animals are so special, literally life savers to ones with special needs. I've read and watched many amazing stories about the bonding and saving of lives by our friends of the furry kind.

I find it impossible to stay on one subject, but those of you that tune in regularly know that, don't you. My mind don't whirl as fast as it used to, the old motor needs rebuilt, but what's left of it will have to do until the rebuild into my next go round. Do we reincarnate, hell I don't now, don't care do you? Do we go to a beautiful white house in the sky? Do we visit the deeps of hell? Questions, questions, questions? Always questions but no answers! Some make a mighty fine living producing answers. Do they really know? I don't think so! I live by the answers felt by my soul and my heart. For there lies where we have to live.

Not a moment of wisdom but seriousness in that last paragraph. I shall try to stay away from that, takes too much energy!