Late at night after my day is done, I feel like a kid in a candy store. I can completely relax and be ME. It's not easy being me, I assure you, take my word on this matter! It has always been hard for me to relax. I never knew how too! What does one do? Find a comfortable position, breath in and out slowly, deeply, say ohm!, ohm!, ohm! This I can accomplish, how do you keep your mind still? Alcohol used to work rather well, it was the damn hangover that was a problem! Sedatives worked nicely, but I'm not a rich socialite who can stay drunk and asleep all the time!
I'm not like Data on Star Trek, who has an on and off switch. I would like to have one though. At the end of the day just turn me-self off. There is people I would like to tune out or better still install an off switch and permanently leave it off. No I don't mean like killing them, I wouldn't want that for nobody!
You see right here, I have BIG TROUBLE keeping my mind in one place. Focus, ohm! ohm! ohm! that ain't no damn good, I'm thinking about all kinds of crazy crap as I'm trying to relax. It's like a crazy man's recipe, a dash of this, a smidgen of that, a pinch of that!!! No wonder I have Blood Pressure problems. I can't rest my brain. I take my nighttime medicine and I get plum ass looney, but you know what, I'M TOO OLD TO GIVE A RAT'S ASS ANYMORE!!! Yee, ah, ha, ha, ha, yippee yi-aaa, ride him cowboy!!! You think I'm crazy now!, you ought to off known me before I started taking them wonder drugs to keep me in control! Yow-zaa!!! I'm one stubborn, crazy old mule and to quote my own Doctor "you take enough medicine to put a mule down". Well hell there ain't no way I can rest! My own Doctor is trying to put me down.
I told my Doctor "I been telling you for years and years my metabolism, ain't normal".
I haven't been around "NORMAL" people, my whole life. I've got noo-body to be a roll model. My Daddy was plum ass nuts, from abnormal hillbilly upbringing. My Momma, what can I say about my Momma. I love my Momma, she was the oldest one of the family and had to help raise her brothers and sisters. In today's world that would qualify her for certifiably nuts! But then she met my Daddy, and "HIS FAMILY", that there, pushed my Momma into her own twilight zone and she ain't never recovered! How could she after pushing me out!
Any-whooo! No I ain't no Hooty ass Owl! At the end of a long hard day I come home and get me a bite to eat, put the dog out, take a shower. It's late night everyone is in bed but me. I plant my fanny in my chair and turn that dang computer on and watch it come to life. It casts a spell on me, that I must obey. It takes over my mind, and takes it where no brain has gone before. I'm lost but my mind is at peace, because I'm plugged into the computer's umbilical cord, via the keyboard, it feeds me, nourishes me. I know not what I write, it doesn't matter, I'm in the past, present and future at the same time. I visit the moon Alice, I'm a third grader once again, playing kick ball at recess. I'm in a forest and am lost, but there is no fear, instead of trees there's words, coherent or whatever, I'm at peace if only for a minute. My day no matter how stressful, man made or, Me made, disappears, I'm free riding the wings of the world "BABY"!!! Through tiny wires and through the air, bouncing off satellites, I can go and be anywhere, that anyone wants to see the ramblings of a simple man, that tries his damnest to be pure of heart and soul, that wishes only peace and prosperity for the whole world, even though his mind tells him there is too much EVIL out there to make it SO, still for a moment in time, the world, and HE, is at peace, AND damn he can do it again tomorrow, same time same place. But if I had never been, look at the life that would of been lost, and the pleasure, after over half a century + of self-inflicted agony, I would now be missing, if ME or GLEN VIEW had never happened. AT TIMES WHEN THE TIMING OF MY INCOHERENT UNTRAINED STYLE OF WHATEVER I'M DOING HITS, DAMN I FEEL LIKE A KID IN A CANDY STORE, AND I'M ABOUT AS RELAXED AS ONE OLD MULE CAN GET!!!!!!! Thanks from the bottom of this old Jackass's HEART...