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Sunday, June 26, 2011

"Brain" in the Corner

          Once upon a time in the dark ages (one year ago) there was no brain sitting in the corner of my Den. It was merely a real Den for two old Dogs, Me & Aussie Blue, a.k.a. Punky. It's our own little slice of the world, our private space for reflecting, meditating, reading with no phones or worldly obstacles, absolutely no hindrances. It be a REAL Den, you see! Manly & dog smells just the way we like it! Homey & Smelly if you're female, go away. This here is marked The Den, Do Not Enter, fantastic wonders are being solved. We watch The History Channel, or Modern Marvels, or National Geographic, or Documentaries, or Science. Well sometimes Punky wants to watch The Animal Planet, or The Cartoon Network, we, or I mean she loves Sponge Bob. We also love The Road Runner & them good old cartoons, u-know, Tom & Jerry, Bugs Bunny, George of the Jungle because of his intelligence. We must have our space to relax & do what dogs do, unwind from a hard day of hard physical work, driving around all day is not easy! Try having your head stuck outside the window for 8 hours, yikes! it separates your nose hairs and blocks your sinus cavities. You can't wait to come home and let your hair down. (ha,ha) Whow wee! it's ruff out there u-know. When we arrive home we ask the little lady what's fer supper Ma? We chow down like a couple hungry pups, we got no time for talking we're hungry, pass them vittles, mash potatoes with gravy, fried chicken & biscuits. Uh huh! "real food", we ain't rabbits we work hard we can't survive on salads & carrots!!! Why the hell ya'll think we drive a Silverado pick up truck? In case we pick up on weight we'll not be overloaded you see! None of them baby trucks for us, no way!
          We used to spend time watching TV with Ma & her fuzzy sidekick Bella, uwe!, what kind of name is that, a squirrely looking Pom that has enough fuzziness you could use her as pom poms if your daughter lost one of hers. A real man & a real dog can only take soo much! of Dancing with the Nincapoops or Feel Me, Hold Me, XXXXing stuff u-know. How many reruns of F-F-F-Friends can a man take before you go wacko u-know. The only good ones was when Marcel was on there. We pretty much have the run of the house, as long as it's our Den & the Bathroom. I pretty much done forgot what I titled this post, I got sidetracked attempting to lead into some-thun. You see how my brain works @#$%ing scary ain't it!!! I been getting @#$%ing frustrated because getting my brain & my fingers to work together is plum ass difficult. I know it would be complicated to get a Senior Citizen to learn how to type after never typing before, but DAAAAAAM! it never even occurred to me the Senior Moment "X FACTOR"! Do ya' all out there, I mean really out there as in somewhere all around the big ass @#$%ing planet understand what a Senior Monent IS? People sometimes believe Seniors to be a mite slow or spaced out, dingy or plum stupid u-know. (Hell that can't be true, most older people are running things like Presidents & such!!!!) That be funny don't ya reckon!!!    

          About a year ago I started wanting my very on "COMPUTER". Up until that time it was a Television I thought. I would see Ma just a-pecking away at that darn thing. Didn't seem to be many channels, because there was mostly writing on the TV screen. But she seemed to be having fun and she was a stick to it one, I'll give her that! She were determined to get a picture on it. Must of been something a-wrong with that TV screen, only she called it a Monitor. I thought she was having a Senior moment! The only thing I knew was Monitor Lizard. Damn next thing I know Ma got herself a larger Monitor & she were plum happy, like it were a Christmas present. (Okay, okay, okay I will sooner or later get to whatever my main point was, don't get your panties in all waded up, I'm old!!!) Ma gives me her old one and shows me how to turn that dang Monitor Lizard thing on and was using all kinds of strange language, I seen real quickly I was about one century behind. Anyhow I plum burnt that first Lizard up, fried his Modem or something. I spent about two months working on a short story and apparently that Big Ass Monitor Lizard H-A-T-E-D it! Man I were beside myself . You have no idea how much time & effort I had spent on that!!! I'm broken hearted, I hate you Lizard from "HELL"! After a spell, Ma says "lets go get you a new Computer". So we do and she hooks that baby up for me & I have a brand new Lizard thing-ma-bob in the Den. I call it "The Brain in the Corner".
          Now I'm completely "shell shocked" I'm determined to learn to type as I teach myself how to write at the same time. "Have Mercy" I have spent money for a Lizard, don't know how to type or write, don't seem too bright do it? I have been fooling around with some jumbles of disasters I've been writing by hand, yes sir! u-know paper & pen just like the Founding Fathers. I go from that to a Lizard and whow-wee! My friend Klem, only he likes Ah Klem better. I think he worked too long in C-a-l-i-f-o-r-n-i-a- so I didn't ask u-know! He says "start your own Blog", I say "HUH"!!! He begins talking in a foreign language, using silly ass words, I look at Ah Klem. It was as though he was talking Heartland English & then he was possessed, using words I never heard before. I know they have clothing with alligators on them, but apparently that damn Monitor Lizard has taken over his brain too! Ah Klem starts me up a Blog and I been practicing ever since. DAD BURN IT I'M GONNA PRACTICE UNTIL I LEARN OR I BURN THIS LIZARD UP!!! SORRY ABOUT THAT !!! Thanks for tuning in! Glen.

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