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Friday, May 30, 2014

Groundhog Day

I truly hate to talk about tiredness all the time, of which I try as hard as possible to avoid. Age causes my body to be tired, can't stop that. Tiredness of the mind is what I wish to discuss.

We all remember the movie with Bill Murray "Groundhog day." Don't we? I sure hope you do! This weatherman was stuck in the same O day, day after day, after day!!!

I equate his dilemma with my working environment. I actually like my job and am happy to still have the health to do it. I somehow find it quite ironic that a lot of the ones I went to school with, I've outlived. Doesn't matter if you a high school jock, well to do, whiz kid, Doctor, whatever many are long gone. One died at the age of 27, heart attack. I could not understand that then, nor understand it today. I suppose diseases don't discriminate. A good friend of mine died way too young from drugs and alcohol.

I find myself in somewhat of a "Groundhog Day" loop, time thing-a-ma-jig. The working day same O shit happens every fricking day it seems. Seems the mental crap is definitely, taking its toil on me more so than the physical thing. For too long I just tried to overlook it. That's the problem, I can't block it out, NO MORE!

I told myself last night at work.

I said "Self don't give a ferkel, you could probably do half as much as you do now and nobody will say a thing."  (Isn't that sad, others get by with it!)

Yes, I did say that.

Also I thought along with that, "It ain't my problem just ride it out until retirement."

I cannot do it! I think what I think and "I am what I am!" To quote Popeye the cartoon. But that "Am what I am" is gonna kill me if I cannot find a way to overlook all the I-G-N-O-R-A-N-C-E!

On that last thought of the previous sentence, my sentence is clear, I've sentenced myself to death, because the only way out I see, clearly is to not give a ferk and I cannot do that, it seems!!!

HERE BE MY REAL DILEMMA. I DON'T WANT TO RETIRE! IT'S MY PERSONAL BELIEF WITHOUT THE PHYSICAL PUSH THAT MY BODY NEEDS TO KEEP IT ACTIVE I WOULD WITHER AWAY.

THE FLIP SIDE IS, DO I DIE FRROM THE STUPIDITY AND IGNORANCE OF OTHERS OF WHICH I CAN'T SEEM TO BLOCK OUT!

MOST INTERESTING DILEMMA, I FIND MYSELF IN!!!!!

I FIND MYSELF THINKING "BEST JUST SLIP AWAY IN A DREAM IN MY SLEEP, SEEMS A NICE WAY TO AVOID BOTH!!!!"

AH! BUT THAT BE THE COWARDS WAY OUT. WELL NOW, I'M TOO FRICKING OLD TO CHANGE A MINDSET OF A LIFETIME.  "I CANNOT STAND LAZINESS AND STUPIDITY. I RECKON I'M A GONER . . . HEAH?

1 comment:

  1. There seems to be an overabundance of both stupidity and laziness these days. So many people have absolutely no work ethic and the stupidity comes from the deliberate dumbing down of generations of young people. You hang in there and keep being who you are. That is what will keep you alive and kicking when others go down. Have a great day my friend. Oh, sorry I have not been writing lately. My mind has been so quiet, I can't seem to drag 10 words out to post online !

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