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Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Shiver Me Timbers!

Happy Valentine's Day to all women from o'l Glen!

What do I wish to talk about today? Someone out there in blogdom help me out! I'm an old fart and getting older by the minute, no time to waste! I can feel the arteries filling up as I type. [ Blowing nose, sorry congestion, snot, NOT, closing of the arteries, ahhahahaha! ]

Did I read anything interesting today? Well if I did, I plum forgot about it! I don't think it is brain farts, just nothing that held my attention. Work wel-l-l work was work u-know, sam-o, sam-o! There was a light snow as I made a delivery, quite pretty actually. We have been real lucky this year in the snow department, way below normal. After work I stopped for fuel and watched the snow falling on my green van, it was so fine, like thread, lint, like mother nature cut each one equally a mere fraction of an inch. Yet on my dark paint I could actually see the individual fine hair type snow. I have seen hundreds of snows from the heavy beautiful wet large snowflakes to everything in between, but never have I seen such fine hair like snow "lint"! I don't know what else to call it! I zeroed in my bifocals in total amazement and just gazed at them! I'm sure it was a one in a lifetime thing! Wow! Amazingly beautiful is the only way I can describe it. Had I not been getting fuel and turned my head away from the light wind I would not of seen them! I had the perfect opportunity along with my van being a dark green!

 Snow doesn't bother me, its that damn ice that shivers me timbers. ( I'm laughing to myself as I write that, I best explain! ) I fall every year no matter how careful I am. Once, while stepping down from my truck at work, as soon as both feet was on the ground I closed the truck door with my left hand, some how, some way, I started to fall, so I grabbed for the truck to steady me-self! Well! Remember the door is closing, I just slammed it with my left hand, so my little finger on my right hang gets caught in the door, as it's slams shut! YIKES! THE !@#$ING door actually latched! Hurt! I'd imagine!( That finger is suffering flash backs as we speak, oops, as I type! For real! Pain just shot through it! ) I'm doing a little dance as my left hand grabs the door handle and presses the button. After I get my little finger out the dancing intensifies because the pain is still there! Believe me this would of been a good one for America's Funniest Videos. I don't know what style of dancing I was doing, I was a mite proccupied getting my pinky out of the door! This Truck has a large rubber seal that kept from breaking my pinky, but damn it hurt like hell for a spell!!!  ( Did you as a child ever get your hand caught in the door as someone closed it, then you can identify with this scenario, ouch-a-roon-ee right!

About 30 years ago there was a ice storm while I was working. I open the back door and step outside, that be my first mistake. I still had my hand on the handle, my right foot slips and down I go! I attempt to get up and down I go again! Repeat once more! After three falls, I have slipped a few feet away from the door, so I stay on my knees and inch on all fours to the door, to right myself and get back inside. My pride shot and body hurting. I have fell many times on ice, it happens every year. No wonder I have two bad disc in my back.

Just last year we had a snow with ice on top of it! I kid you not. I made the delivery 30 miles in baad weather. There is an embankment after I get out of the truck I normally walk right up through the grass. I thought to myself, a mistake! I try so hard to be careful so I won't fall. The closest point between two points is straight right-o! If I follow the parking lot to the walkway it would be three times as far and all roads to the door was ice on top of snow. I get out of my truck and think if I step hard I should go through the ice and not slip because there is grass underneath, good plan bad follow through! I stepp hard with my right foot onto the embankment fully anticipating to crack the ice and have good footing! Wasn't meant to be! Ice won, as I slide under my truck yep, yes sir ree! Once the first step was unsuccessful it was slide until level ground which happened to be under my truck! If anybody was to tell me this story I would think no way! Yes sir Jose, it happened!

I told my neurologist (Yep I have one of them also, and a chiropractor on speed dial in the winter! )  how my balence ain't worth a !@#$ on ice. Now you would think a person with flat feet would have an advantage over these young whipper snappers that roll their feet, but NO! They be sliding all around and having fun and staying upright. This here old fat man be walking like Tim Conway impersonating the little slow walking old man, remember from The Carol Burnett Show. Anyway I walk like a snail on anything that even looks icy and pick my way carefully holding onto everything. When I decide to go it sure as hell ain't slow, it be faster than the eye can see, as fast as a speeding bullet and when my body goes down, it hits like a locomotive and it be a while before I can jump anything because I sure as hell ain't no Superman !!!   HOPE YOU LIKE MY LITTLE POST AND THANKS FOR VISITING GLEN VIEW.   Slippery-man.       

1 comment:

  1. Be careful !! This brings back memories of my years growing up in Indiana. I can't even count the times I fell on ice. Thankfully I don't have that problem down here on the peninsula. Ice is something I definitely do not miss about winter. I do however miss seeing the snow, smelling the snow, making snowmen and snow angels in the snow. Yes, if by some freak of nature it were to snow here, I would be out there like a child!

    Happy Valentine's Day to you and yours Glen.