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Saturday, February 25, 2012

Feeling Good

Feeling good, can't sleep! Ha, ha! That reminds me of an old Saturday Night Live skit where Billy Crystal impersonates what I believe was Fernando Lamas. In the skit Billy Crystal says "it's better to look good, than too feel good." I disagree whole heartedly!  I would much rather feel good, when I feel good it's like yippee yi-ah! The hell with what I look like! If you don't like the way I look, then by all means don't look at me! Speaking of looking at you don't you fricking hate it when people stare at you! These simple lame brain nin-ca-poops have no manners at all!

Speaking of lame brain nin-ca-poops. No matter where I roam I find them, they seem to be coming out of the woodwork. These ninny's, I have no doubt will reproducing! (Ain't that one scary ass thought!) There here! Reproducing like rabbits! Damn! If that don't make you want to start drinking, nothing will! Drink a six pack of beer, then do your shopping! I just betcha them ninny's seem more intelligent to you OR my favorite, you just don't give a rat's ass anymore! Hell yeah! Get drunk and let one of your children take you to the grocery store. You must be drunk just to squeeze your arthritis ridden body into Timmy's Hyundai Accent. Timmy, your 17 year old son helps push you into the Accent, then realizes he left the seat forward. He pushes the seat releases and you go back and hit your head against a monster stereo system that takes up the whole back seat and the trunk. You finally relax, scrunched up and feeling like a pretzel. Timmy gets in and starts the Hyundai Accent and 10,000 watts of bass hits you! It's bad enough you can barely move, then you feel your body vibrating all over the seat. It's a damn good thing your seat belt is hooked or you would of went through the roof of the Hyundai Accent. Speaking of accent you utter a few choice words but no one on the planet could hear you. Timmy says "sorry" after you have wet yourself! Nothing like a few extra unscheduled heart beats to check the soundness of the old ticker! Yep! I'm still alive! Timmy turns the stereo off for you, what a sweety! You go two blocks and Timmy gets a phone call. Oh my God! After a minute of his conversation with one of his Bro's you turn the stereo on, finding the sound of the bastard bass better than communication between two 17 year old's. Timmy pushes you out of the Hyundai at the Supermarket. Your upper body is weak, stomach flip floppin, brain is at sea, your legs are dancing uncontrollably, from rap music vibrations still in your body from the stereo from hell. As you enter the store the security guard places you in one of them electric carts. You don't argue because, stomach innards and beer would not be pretty all over the produce! Adds a new meaning to fresh produce don't it! You drive the electric cart around the store knocking over all the displays them dumasses put right in the middle of the aisles! You laugh uncontrollably, you have forgotten what the hell you came to the store for, so you have a brain fart moment! You buy vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup and a gallon of water and straws. You decide to throw the water away, cut a hole in the water jug add the milkshake ingredients and use the ride home to make one big ass milkshake from all the shaking you'll be doing! You know what they always say "if life gives you a multi mixer, you might as well make milkshakes."    THE SILLINESS HAS TO COME OUT, U-KNOW! I HAVE THE HANKERIN FOR A CHOCOLATE MILKSHAKE ABOUT NOW! HANKERIN, DAMN! MY HILLBILLY HERITAGE IS TRYIN TO COME OUT, GOODNIGHT AND DON'T LET THE BED BUGS BITE!!! ah, ha, ha, ha, ha! .....   signed an inmate from Glen View...

1 comment:

  1. YUCK, I can't imagine being drunk and then drinking a gallon of milkshake !!

    Oh, Blogger decided to mess with the settings on my blog again , they do this every now and then just to confuse me since they know I am half senile and not quite right. I hope I have them fixed because someone sent me an email and said they could not find my blog. Hmmm, they never comment but I guess they read !!

    Anyway, have a wonderful weekend and if you get a milkshake, don't make it a gallon size!