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Thursday, September 22, 2011

Tired, Writing & Home Sweet Home

I'm tired, a tiredness that seems to come on from time to time. As we age nothing gets easier! Task we used to complete lickety split, become monumental. Energy, what is energy? Somewhere along the line it left, damn energy never came back! It became survival, I reckon! Mind is clear but my rickety old body is rusting away. I'M TIRED OF BEING TIRED, if that makes any XXXXing sense. It does to me!!

Once, my mind was overwhelmed! That's the best way I can explain it! I felt the weight of the world on my shoulder! Crazy isn't it! All the baggage carried from childhood into adulthood was stuck in my brain! I never understood how to release it. Work harder, try harder, forget it, don't dwell on it, uh huh, everybody's an expert! Absolutely, there has been times of pleasure in my life, exhilerating times that made the down times worse, because the high's were simply beautiful, a glimpse of heaven on earth!

Please don't take this wrong! I'm not complaining. This is just a little attempt to explain the tiredness of body, not SOUL & HEART! My mind is alive, full of imagination, humor! I wish to share my inner balence in a way you might never of read or seen before. Laugh, tears, giddiness thinking this man is unbelieveable, a true nutso, as I express my thoughts as they happen, unrehearsed like my uneducated style of writing.

I absolutely love writing stories, like Inner Voices & Ejijah or Corner Lot or Limestone Brick & Mortar. Lost Road may be my favorite. I like them all for many different reasons. It takes time to let your mind flow in another direction, the creating of characters and going wherever your subconscious mind takes you, opens up new doors. I have more in the works but can't finish them easily.

I've hit upon a way to release myself from the torments accumulated that particular day. (HUH!) I sit at the computer at the end of the day with nada on my mind. I make fun of myself about meditating, channeling. I do take my medicine at this time. This is when I'm the most relaxed, my mind is clear, I simply have FUN with it! I just let-er-rip! It is immensely enjoyable. There is times when my mind and fingers work together, giving me a natural high! My wish is to give humor, hope to myself and to you!

I am tired, I grow so tired of my body hurting at work and I can't take enough Tylenol to relieve the pain that grows daily. I drag myself home. Ah, home, what does that conjur up to you? Warmee, confortee, favoritee chairee, relaxee, feels damn goodee. (yep i know i misspelled them wurds, stay with the flowee) "Home is where the heart is". Home is where my big ass is, especially when at work and my knee is hurting, my back is hurting. The trying misfits of society are more idiotic, more dummer, more stupid-errr than the ones I make fun of in my head. U-know I have little, live humble like my family always has, but I have a lot especially where it counts.

If you're a billionaire and can buy everything and everybody, you've not one iota of what I'mma talking about. I feel sorry for you! I still feel the warmth of a coal stove as a kid. You are lying under a ton of blankets with no central heat, Momma says, "come on, it's time to get up", you touch the cold as ice vinyl floor in the dead of winter and run to the coal stove. It feels so warm so loving, the floor around the stove is toasty warm on your feet.

When I came home, I was as bodily tiresd one can get. I fix a glass of lemonade, a sandwich. No television for me! I wanna relaxo, pet my dog. You see, this is how I relax, before I go to bed. I hope you don't mind my unusual way of signing off for the day, by writing a mite!   goodnight

1 comment:

  1. "Energy, what is energy? Somewhere along the line it left, damn energy never came back! "

    That is something I had an abundance of yesterday. Something that comes around about once every 4-6 weeks it seems. I got a lot done and cooked a big dinner for my family also. I made the remark to my daughter that I wished I felt like that everyday, but most days I am tired too. I am 56, though I look younger, I FEEL my age most of the time.

    As for you being "nutso" as you put it......I don't really see it that way. I see you as being one of the most "real" people I have come across in this blog world and that is why I look forward to reading what you have to say each day.

    This is the sort of writing I prefer to read, rather than some perfectly written, well researched, informative "article" that so many bloggers post !

    I hope you get some rest and I wish for you that you could be pain free.

    Many blessings to you and your dear wife today.