MOMENTS

We meet again. HELLO there! Nothing like a late night drive in the country to relax and meditate. Me and Aussie Blue/Punkster absolutely loovve it. I know, I've talked about these drives before, but the exhilerating relaxation is simply magnifico!!! My mind is overwhelmed with ideas, stories and such. I'm at peace, I watch Punkster, she enjoys these rides so much. She be, a young pup once more, if only for an hour or so. My heart of pain is temporarily relieved, as I'm happy for her. She withers away from cancer, I give her pain pills to lessen her pain. My pain grows, as I watch her getting around slower from arthritis and age! I see myself, my aches my pains, as I also fight the battles of age alongside her. Where she once jumped, deer like up the steps, clearing them magnificently like a high hurdler, she must stop and take one step at a time. Once full of herself, ready to mix it up at one glance from me. She would fall asleep at my feet as I sit in my chair. She would sleep with the tennis ball in her mouth, just waiting for my lounger to plop shut, at the squeak of the springs she was on all fours chompimg on the ball and lovingly giving me her playful growl saying "I'm here I'm ready let's play". Those days are long gone! Her appetite slowly diminishes as her body goes away. I eat chicken she gets halve. I eat a hamburger she eats halve. What I eat, she seems to want, how sad, how beautiful! It becomes harder and harder to get the pain pills into her body. I must out smart her, believe me that ain't easy! She reads my mind, she senses my senses, before the senses of an old man senses them! (did i loose you on that one, please re-read it, it be very important to me) It's always been that way she is like my right arm, only think of her as another heart. She has enlightened me in so many ways. You might think this to be the ramblings of an old man! Not so, quite the contrary! (i have more clarity at this time in life than ever before) We all have friends, acquaintances, some one you're close too. But have you ever truly had one that you felt like was an extension of your soul!! A piece of the puzzle of life, you always felt was missing. You search almost a lifetime diligently looking for answers. Answers, you don't know what questions to ask! A piece is missing, always been missing, you feel that in your gut! There has always been pets around me, why is this one different? Is this a reincarnation of a piece of my lost soul that I did not get back until the proper time!!! (interesting don't you think) Holly smokes, interesting question! Question that might not be answerable! Mind if I try?

I see her, she's what I've always wished to be! A free spirit, full of life, love. Not one mean spirited bone in her body. She's never met anyone she didn't like. When she was just one year old, a one eyed cat, appropriately named Boo-boo adopted my household and gave birth to five kittens. These kittens were just days old, I pick them up and introduced each one, individually to Punkster. She gives each one a loving lick. These became part of her family. You would look outside and there would be them kittens, now full grown playing with her tail, as she moves it playfully. During siesta time, they'd curl up together as one family.    

During long walks, when both of us were younger, she was always by my side, no need for leashes she never, absolutely never, left my sight. (of course in town she was always on a leash) Once when she was young, a picture hanging above my bed feel off and hit me smackdab squarely on the nose. She come a-runnin and jumped on the bed and starting licking my nose. Now she'd lick my hands but how did she know it hit me on my nose? (you should of seen the shiners I had, both eyes black and blue, a couple real doozies)  

You see there was something different about this puppy, OR, had I finally grown up? Hum interesting question, sure glad you ask me! Both, I would say! I was tired, tired of trying to answer the un-answerable questions, we all attempt to, in life. Instead of asking myself , what if? I begin to live, enjoy, to be me!

After a lifetime of darkness springing up now and again, I look upon her at this time in my self-evaluation of life. She was my lighthouse, helping me find a safe harbor from the storms, "to enjoy" the rest of my life, by doing something so simple and pure it's amazing.

What did she do so amazing, I hear you ask? She's taught me and reminds me of the simple things in life. I watch her with love, pleasure and all the happiness one needs, and deserves. How is it possible that purity of soul can represent so much in such a simple package? She has taught me to cry as I cry write this heartfelt story. This is just not another story from the mind of an old man. THIS STORY, BE TRUE! WHEN SHE DIES, WHICH WILL BE SOON, I'LL CRY AGAIN, MUCH MORE. THESE TEARS WILL BE MIXED, BUT MORE HAPPINESS THAN PAIN. TO OF NOT KNOWN HER, WOULD BE TO DIE, NOT KNOWING SUCH SIMPLISTIC PLEASURES, THAT ARE AVAILABLE, IF WE CAN FORGET THE PAST, AND LIVE, "IM TALKING REALLY LIVE FOR THE MOMENTS. THE MOMENTS THAT PASS US BY, BECAUSE WE'RE TOO BUSY LOOKING DOWN, TOO BUSY LOOKING, LOOKING, LOOKING. QUESTIONING, QUESTIONING, QUESTIONING! WE'RE NOT HERE, TO FIGURE OUT THE UNANSWERABLE ANSWERS OF THE UNIVERSE! WE'RE HERE TO SIMPLY FIND LOVE, ENJOYMENT, PLEASURE, CLOSENESS, WHEREVER IT BE! REMEMBER CURLING UP IN THE WINTERTIME WITH THE WIND HOWLING READING A BOOK, LOSING YOURSELF, IMMERSING YOURSELF WITH ALL THE IMAGINATION THAT ONLY CHILDREN HAVE. DAMN, I REMEMBER PLAYING WITH A BEAT UP OLD METAL TOY CAR, PLAYING IN THE DIRT. I WAS SIX YEARS OLD. I WAS ACTUALLY INSIDE THAT TINY BEAT UP OLD JALOPY FEELING THE GENTLE BREEZE BLOWING THROUGH MY HAIR, I FELT IT THEN AND I FEEL IT NOW AS ME AND PUNKSTER CRUISED THE BACK ROADS A FEW HOURS AGO LOOKING FO SIMPLISTIC HAPPINESS AS ONLY A COUPLE OLD DOGS CAN!