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Monday, September 26, 2011

Searching For Inner Peace!

It's late at night I feel good. Totally relaxed, at peace, not used to this. Is this what meditation does to you. Where will my mind take us tonight, please ride with me! Physically I feel better than I have for months. What gives? Could this be the calm before the storm? I'm not going there! A couple rainy days in succession, can be depressing not so tonight!

One thing for sure, I'll write whatever comes my way. My mind works like that. I can be thinking many things at the same time. While I'm use to that, it might befuddle you readers! I absolutely hate the boredom, the same-o, same-o. The daily news is the same format every stinking day. Death, destruction, political. Throw in the weather forecast, some sports, yikes it's soo depressing! No @#%&ing wonder soo many people try to escape the daily ritual of insanity! The daily insanity breeds like mosquitoes in the summer! A laugh, a tiny grin, a hug, pat a dog on the head, simple instantly gratifying, beautiful!

I try to stay away from religion and spirituality but for some reason I want to say a few words. I'll use this definition of spirit to help. The thinking, motivating, feeling part of man, often as distinguished from the body; mind; intelligence.

In my estimation, I'm an extremely spiritual person. I believe that most likely comes through, however; I will not discuss religion with no one. I believe what "I BELIEVE", comes from within, my soul, my heart and I'm not willing to stray from what my inner soul tells me. "To thine own self be true", rings crystal clear inside. I knock no religion, if that makes you a better person. I'm corny but the words of a song I believe in, "what the world needs know is love".

Inner peace is what all want, I'm jealous of those that have, or appear to have it. Last August and September I achieved peace within. Inner peace the likes of which I've never experienced!!! It was UNBELIEVABLE!!! Why, at that time in my life I think about daily. I've searched my lifetime for those moments and found them, for only a little while, again why? I don't dwell but want it back!

From feeling super, mentally and physically, to exact opposite for months and months is devestating. When your basic everyday schedule is almost exclusively identical, how can extremes like these be possible?

Does the physical control the mental, or does the mental control the physical? Most certainly if you wake up with the flu bug you're going to have a bad day! If you can't rest and achieve dream state, it will soon take it's toll! But if you're getting a good night's rest and have only the normal aches and pains of aging, why not awaken like I felt last year??? Most interesting question, would you not agree?  I did not have that euphoria when I was perfectly healthy. Why for only eight weeks of sixty years? Was there some special galactical alignment just for me? Questions, questions, questions, I want it back!!!

Interesting note, I've had two other episodes very dimilar, except they came from prescribed medicines, hum, I must say! Many, many, many, years ago I was taking Lithium. According to what I studied about this medicine it's a natural forming salt something or the other. It can be lethal, so regular blood work was required for the proper monitoring. I felt great mentally and physically, but side effects made me unable to tolerate the medicine. A few years back I developed an allergic reaction to something never diagnosed. I took the drug prednisone, uh we! Felt good, I reckon! In only a couple weeks I was hooked. Getting off that medicine after the euphoric highs was horrible. I can only say, after that experience I can understand how people get hooked! Remember now these two were artificial stimulants.

The natural amazing high was from within my mind had to be. I've fought hard to regain that feeling. There has to be something that was triggered from within to cause my body to respond with natural inner juices, inner endorphins or something along these lines. I received acupuncture treatments for a back problem several years ago. If you understand acupuncture the needles stimulate that natural healing power or whatever from within. It must be along these lines. Somehow I tapped into the power within, is the only explaination I can live with. BABY, I want it back!

Now dig this! The only thing I've been able to ascertain is. (drum roll & I'm as serious as a heart attack when I say this) Last year I was totally, I, mean TOTALLY wrapped up in learning to type, which I've never done, learning to use my very own first computer and learning to put words together in a somewhat coherent fashion! Now I understand this might sound silly. I was so immersed in learning, my mind was centered on one thing!  Is it possible like the caveman needing a rush of adrenalin. There is no other explaination. I continue my learning process and find if I write before I go to bed I rest better. So at my age I plan on learning until the day I die! GOODNIGHT AND AS ALWAYS THANKS FOR VISITING GLEN VIEW, WHERE YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT'S NEXT... 

1 comment:

  1. Well as you know I went through the "great depression" as I like to call it, so I can certainly understand a lot of what you wrote here. I once read that there is something called "chronic boredom" and perhaps when one has the same routine from day to day, they begin to suffer from this malady ! I know my life is pretty much the same everyday and I have very few days where I just feel very much "alive". I do think that the mental affects the physical in a big way. At least for me it does.... When you were learning something new, the computer, you had something different to look forward to and that change of routine gave you the "high" you needed. So I am thinking you should seek new adventures to keep your mind active and excited, and that will in turn make you feel better physically. And this of course is my opinion, but based on my personal experience.
    Hang in there Glen !!