CAUTION THIS POST CONTAINS COMMENTS THAT MAY NOT BE SUITABLE FOR ANYONE. (I wrote this the other day and reread it and changed some things. Two different days of me in this one post may scare some of you off, BUT if you've visited here before please strike the warning from your mind!)
It's Monday and I thought I'll recap the week. Well I cannot remember what I had for lunch let alone recap the week. Seems as though weeks turns into months, them months turn into a year and so on and so forth. SAME-O, same-o, ya know! Sure you do. Something out of the ordinary must happen to remember. Seems nothing out of the ordinary comes my way. I work, I get pissed of at the dummies that are everywhere especially ay work. MAN! You can't get away from dummies, no where~~~~~! I get up in the morning and look in the mirror and guess what's staring back at me with the meanest, ugliest, dumb look? Can't get away from dummies no where~~~~~! Try just looking at the newspaper what do you see? Dummies! Turn on the television to get away from the realities of the world and what do you see? Dummies! They take any dummy that will appear as a dummy and give them a reality show, am I right? Hell yes I'm right! One of these days I'm going to have a reality show, umm, huh! Yes, I am! Whenever they run out of people doing reality shows they're a gonna, come a callin' on the only one left who has not done, a reality show. That be me! See they be savin' the best for last. After they have completely destroyed every one on the planets mind, they'll need old Glen to reprogram them. ONLY I won't do it!
Oopsey, am I comin' across a bit tough? Hell yes what we need is tough love! Does anybody out there know what tough love is?
It be like when your momma gonna spank yer ass, and she says, "it hurts me more than it does you!"
You get a few smacky poos on the buttocks, it ain't the smacks that are makin' you cry. It be the fact that "your momma actually did it!" It hurt yer poor wittle feelings, but ya remember that don't you?
You wouldn't a learned nothin' if your momma would a ignored you and done nothin'!
You become parents and you have flashbacks at what your momma went and done to you, you remember everything and understand completely. That be "tough love baby!"
You ainna hearing that from child Psychiatrist Doctor Doweenkie, yee be hearing than from a man that has been around fer a spell and knows about tough love and all that stuff ya know! Just call me Doctor Tough Love, "WHAT THE WORLD NEEDS NOW IS "TOUGH LOVE!"
Real Reality Sucks!!! Sheesh any fool that thinks these reality shows be reality, should be stuck in a corner blowing duck calls for the rest of their life!
I seen an advertisement just today for a new reality show, they advertise as "the best reality show since the Osbournes." What??? I watched that show once, I did learn how to cuss like a drunken sailor! I'm so proud to say that I can use the F-word, in every sentence when I choose to, Thank you Ozzie! They taught their kids to do the same, you know! I do think they've added some lustre to the F-word with a slight British accent. Just seems more propa!
This new reality show is Crisley knows best or something like that. I can't wait to see all his children using that word! Seems to top old Ozzie they best use it A LOT!
I DO NOT U-N-D-E-R-S-T-A-N-D . . . HOW OR WHY THE PUBLIC CAN WATCH THESE,THESE, THESE, IMBECILIC SHOWS! (I be so pissed off I don't even know of imbecilic is even a word, don't care! It gets my point across!)
P-L-E-A-S-E, GIVE ME, SOMETHING TO CHALLENGE MY BRAIN, AND LEARN SOMETHING.
MURDER, MAYHEM, SELLS, I SUPPOSE? THAT'S JUST ON THE EVENING NEWS!
"Hey Clem Bob, did you see, where just up the street old Ray Earls' house was shot up real bad? A good thing he wasn't home! The fools, that did this was so stupid they didn't know he wasn't home. I'd hate to be the suckers that did it! He'll go kill him all, that'll be on the evenin' news I reckon in a few days. Don't take long even for Ray Earl to figure it out, after all they were so stupid they left a calling card we did it, yup we did!"
SORRY BUT MY MIND, DO TAKE A DIFFERENT PATH SOMETIMES!
ITILL LIKE A GOOD STORYLINE, WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD ONES GONE?
THERE'S SO MANY CRIME SCENE AND MORGUE SCENES, SHOWING BODIES THAT I FORGET, WHAT I'M WATCHING!
I ASK MY MISSY. "IS THAT A DOCUMENTARY FOR MORTICIANS, JUST WHAT ER WE A WATCHIN ON THE DISNEY CHANNEL!"
"NO YOU OLD FOOL! THAT'S THE HIGHEST RATED SHOW ON TELEVISION! THEY'RE TRYING TO MAKE THE DEATH AND DESTRUCTION SCENES LOOK LIKE REALITY!"
"LORD HAVE MERCY!" I SAY. "TURN THAT STUFF OFF AND GO TO ANIMAL PLANET, I BEEN A WORKIN' ALL DAY WITH ONES THAT ARE A SUCKIN' THE LIFE OUT OF ME! I DON'T WANT TO SEE SUCH PUKING, FRICKING, SCENES!"
SHE CHANGED CHANNELS JUST IN TIME TO SEE A LION BREAK THE NECK OF BAMBI!!!
"TURN IT OFF!" I HOLLER! I HAD NIGHTMARES FER A WEEK ABOUT MY PUSSY CAT EATING MY YORKIE!!! YES I DID!