I just bet you've been a thinkin'? Is that man for real? I be about as real as one can get!
What do I like to do? Nothing! I can just relax after a hard day, get me a cold glass of milk, when I say cold I best explain. I always have me a glass in the freeze, so it be plum cold as ice, I put me skim milk in it and enjoy like a fine wine! Pretty simple huh? Yep, that be me! I take my milk to my lazy boy recliner! My dog is in the chair before my derriere hits the cushion. He sits on my lap and we ease the lazy boy back and we relax. Relaxing is not hard if your old arse is a draggin' from a workin'! That's the easy part of my relaxation technique, if your arse is a draggin', just sitting still and unwinding for an hour or so and petting my dog Jack is, is, is, freaking beautiful man! Don't need no downers for me, just a sittin' is wonderful for an old man's aching deteriorating body!
Now ya gots to understand the main point of me technique, is your arse has to be a draggin'! That means super tired from that damn workin' shite!
Tonight I was supposin' to get off at a certain time, old Glen was a countin' down them last few frickin' minutes till gettin' off work time, especially on Friday! Yes I was! I had worked harder than an old man shoulda hafta!
What you need to know abut me is, I be slow gettin' up and me body is several time zone behind, like it's sayin', your freakin' kiddin' me! Your gonna do what, go to work, ya haven't had enough rest you old fool! Well, I go anyway, something about eatin' and paying the bills to have a roof over me head, I've gotten use to, ya know! I take a handful of ibuprofen, drink a sodie pop, eat some trail mix and hit the road! I get there and say to myself, "you crazy old man!" Yep I agree!
After a couple hours of loosenin' up, me body by workin', I start to come around, another handful of ibuprofen, another sodie pop, and old Pop, STARTS TO POPPING. I'M LOOSE, AND READY TO ROCK AND ROLL! Trouble be, is I get a going and forget I'm an old man, ya, see!
I get that Caveman fight or flight adrenalin thing going and once you start me up, I become a fool, yes I do! Thing is I like to push myself, I get a sweat going and tell myself, "you can still do it, you old fool!"
Back to earlier in this post, I'm looking forward to getting off at my normal time. (By the way is there any such thing, as "normal?) I sure don't know what normal is!
Me Boss comes up and asked, "can you work over until a certain job is done?" Done went and took all the wind outta me sails!" Like a dumb ass I said "yes."
Tonight when I got home, my old arse was a draggin', more so than normal!
I had to take my right hand to hold the back of my britches up to keep my ass off the pavement! (((hahaha!)))
As I write this true story before bedtime, I gonna take my nighttime medicine and sleep till time to go to work next week, dream like the dream machine I am, and do it all over again next week! WHY? Because I still can do it! Think of the other alternative! I may hurt, but gosh darn it, I just love the feel of them little adrenalin critters when I'mma hitting on what few cylinders I have left! Once upon a time I was a strong and mighty V/8. Now although I may be only a 4 cylinder, but damn . . . when I get a going, I feel like a mighty Lion. When I get home and relaxing I'mma a kitty cat, a purring in me lazy boy chair and it does feel so good until . . . I have to get up and then, I realize I'm an old man!!!!!!