Hello! You know what the fav-O-right-ist part of my week is? Aww, come on--think a mite---yep-- getting off work time, on Friday, yep, yep, yep, yippee yi-aaaa! I seem to be a man of extremes! I suppose y'all have kind of figured that out by now though! What would be the opposite of extremes moods, personality, however you choose to label it? Maybe this_________________ nah, boring! Or dead, nope not for me! Seems I'm either high or low. That's without taking any kind of drugs, legal or illegal.
I ask my dear mother last summer as we're sitting out side on a beautiful day, "what are you thinking about, please tell me whatever is on your mind?"
Her response "nothing."
I said "come on now, you have to be thinking about, something!"
Once again she responded with a tad of don't ask me that again, "nothing, I'm not thinking about nothing!!!"
Now, if any one, other than my dear mother would of told me that, I would not of believed them. My mother don't lie! I laughed and any time I call up that moment, I have the same chuckle.
My question to those of you out there, is it possible to think about nothing?
There is times I wish for that. Is that what is achieved through meditation? I don't think so... but if I cannot achieve that meditation state of being, I'll settle for the "nothing" state.
I have never been able to control my roller coaster of emotions.
(((I'm not sure where I'm going with this post. Please ride the wild wave with me!)))
I cannot think about "nothing" so please bear with me. To think about nothing when my mind is going a mile a minute and my heart rate is going up from, anger, disgust, fear, etc. seems a welcome and most wise un-emotion. I have taken years off my life, that I cannot reclaim from being who I am! I'm one of those who "wears his heart on his sleeve," as that old saying goes. Most of the time I wish that to not be so! I wish to be like the captian on the Enterprise when he says "make it so." To only make it so, when I want to, but that's not possible!
My dear mother whom I love more than any one in my life, is in her eighties. Apparently I never learned the secret from her, to think "nothing." The next time we're alone I'm going to ask her "mother please tell me how you're able to think "nothing! I truly need to know to keep my heart from exploding some day." Words of wisdom passed down that I must know!
I fear her words will be, with that exact tad of don't ask me that again "I DON'T KNOW!"
I FEAR THAT WILL BE MORE WORDS OF WISDOM NOT GAINED, THAT APPARENTLY CANNOT BE PASSED DOWN GENERATION TO GENERATION.
That be it for tonight, I cannot think of "nothing" else to say! Damn! I did it and don't know how I did it!