CLARITY (YEAH RIGHT) ???

I been meditating, sorry I can't lie to you, eating. Is that not close? I just took my nighttime meds and I took a double dose of prozac cause I'm feeling... what is the correct word I'm looking for... no not the F word, WACKY! I'm wacky, your wacky, my friends are also wacky. My Mother is wacky, but she has earned the right to be wacky, just being my Mom!!! AH... HA HA HA! Please don't tell her I said that! Maybe I'm just zany, that sounds better than wacko... one might think me nuts! Zany means, foolish or CRAZY. Pretty damn close to wacky!        

Challenged somehow seems to fit my mood today, let's look that word up, disabled or handicapped. I'm going to look disabled up, having a physical or mental disability. Gosh darn it, how is a wacky person screwed up on prozac supposed to figure what the %&*k a word means when they run you around in circles in the #$%&ing Dictionary. Whoopsey, I went a might crazy on ya. Okay let me calmly try it again. I look up disabled and get a variation of the same word as a meaning of the word, now breathe deeply and stay calm. Meditate ohm, ohm, ohm, ohmm. I feel calmer now. Disability means, a disabled condition, What the #%&K, damn, I sure as hell am not learning much here! I'll try door number two for clarification. Disability dictionary number two meaning is (drum roll) that which disables, as an illness or physical limitation. 

I feel the need to drop back and punt here and meditate ohm, ohm, oohhmmm, breath, breath... One more time. Disable means to make unable or unfit; cripple; incapacitate. I can see I'm plum damn unfit to understand what the #%&k I was trying to figure out in the first place! I'm now mentally crippled and totally @#%&ing incapacitated!!!

I'm going to try once again. My NewYears resolution was to simplify my life and everything in it. To get to the root of problems, we must start simply so I'm going to look up DIS in the dictionary. Dis means prefix separation, negation, reversal. Huh, I know it's late, but, but, but, I seem to be going around in circles and accomplishing absolutely @#%&ING N-O-T-H-I-N-G. I'M TRAPPED INSIDE THE DREAM I TOLD THE OTHER DAY. I'M THE BOY GOING AROUND THE BLOCK TIME AFTER TIME, DAY AFTER DAY, WHEN WILL THE MADNESS!!! Ohm, oohhmm, ooohhhmmm... The hell with a deep #$%&ING breath, I need a six-pack O Budweiser to make me wiser or @#%&ing drunk to understand this crap-o-la!!!

Well, I sure as hell ain't learned one damn thing here tonight, however; something is ringing in my head and it's getting louder and louder, something rings clear. Yes, yes, yes I understand, and it makes absolutely perfect sense.  

WHY SHOULD ANYTHING BE EASY TO UNDERSTAND, WHEN WE LIVE IN A TIME WHEN NOTHING MAKES ANY SENSE AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IS CLEAR!!! DAMN THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY FUCKING SENSE...   Goodnight from Glen View