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Thursday, May 5, 2011


It's a peaceful night, just me and I'm doing maintenance on our main machine. Due to production demands, preventative maintenance is done whenever possible. Hi there, they call me the "Grease-a-nator". I must be willing to get down and dirty. This particular machine has 14 machines working in harmony. (I love that word) with 25 grease points on each of the 14 machines. You now see why I'm the Grease-a-nator. While greasing I clean and inspect, this is called PM, preventative maintenance, the backbone of machinery and a "good" company.

I could slap grease on the points haphazardly and move on very quickly, if I so desired. There is times when speed is necessary and there is times when visual inspection is more important than the wham bam thank you mam thing (I can't believe I said that. One thing you can count on here on Glen View, if I think it, I'll write it, but you should know that by now)!

By closely evaluating all points for wear or stress, damn I like that stress word better. Well I'll just cut through all the fancy bullshit words I was going to use caus-in I'm a simple man. If-un the Grease-a-nator does his job good, I can save the company I work for money!!! That there word is one word that will get them owners attention, m-o-n-e-y, yep. If you don't believe the grease-a-nator just ask your Boss for a raise. The color will leave their face and they'll go into shock, just do it for fun!

I wish to offer just one example about the horrors of non preventative maintenance, m-o-n-e-y and Bosses. A squeak is heard, a bearing on a production line that is used all the time. Me and others tell our leaders, "hey the bearing is shot". This bearing is a self-sealed bearing, you can't grease it. Weeks go by, the small squeak turns into a loud grinding please help me squeal. It squeals, several advise, destruction imminent. Finally after months, I kid you not!!! The poor thing squealed one last time and broke. A $5.00 bearing became $3,000.00. When it went it tore the whole fricking line up! Yes-sir this old man ain't a-lying...

I'm the Grease-a-nator, I'm like the $5.00 bearing, squealing help me! help me! Somehow me and the squealing to high heaven bearing go unheard!!! You see we are low end squealers as in the low Indian on the totem pole. We are the foundation squealing loudly holding the other Chiefs up and we get no acknowledgement, no respect and we're trying to save them M-O-N-E-Y. It falls on deaf ears because there are nin-ca-poopies in the middle. I'll call them Goobers!        

There is a saying, "if it ain't broke don't fix it". Good sound advice "except". You go buy you a new Honda Accord, a nice quality built automobile. You have driven that Beauty 10,000 miles, purring like a kitten. You have kept it washed and parked in the garage, looks as good as the day you drove it home. Its just like the horse Black Beauty. You now have 20,000 miles on Black Beauty she still looks good! You have ignored all the scheduled recommendations of the manufacturer, no oil change nothing. Why should I do anything to it, it still looks and runs perfect!!! Soon you hear a pecking coming from the engine compartment, you ignore it and take it and get it washed, oh my Black Beauty looks fine! A service engine light comes on at 24,000 miles, you ignore it... Windshield wipers don't wipe clean , oh hell it doesn't rain that often... Your right front tire shakes and shimmys from that big ass pothole from hell you hit, still you drive it... Your Black Beauty has been screaming for attention and you ignore it...

One rainy night you can't see, Black Beauty shakes, rocks, rolls, then the engine sputters and blows, you lose control and kill yourself. Your soul leaves your body and you are looking down at your lifeless Black Beauty and your cold dum-ass body with a sign post stuck through your dead hard fricking head, the sign says detour. You think If only I would of had some warning!!!   GOOBERS WHO NEEDS THEM!!!    tHaNk YOU...

1 comment:

  1. Funny stuff Glen............just pretend to grease those bearings, just like the company owner pretends he can't afford to give you a raise!

    It's perfect karmic justice!