Fortitude, Automatic Writing, add a Dash of Craziness = ME!

I've been to tired the last couple days to write. My old noggin is rebelling for some reason I have the desire but not the fortitude. I've never used that word 'fortitude' before! Where the hell did that come from? Hey! MAYBE there really is automatic writing, where something, or someone, takes over my mind, and writes for me! Is that cool, or what!

Fortitude, uh, uh, uh, oh yeah... like forts, as in a defenseable structure made to keep the bad guys out. I as in me, and tude, as in another modern messed up word for dude. Am I close???

Dictionary says, the strength to bear misfortune, pain, etc. calmly and patiently, firm courage. Huh!
Then it ----says for-ti-tu-di-nous adj. WHAT???  Then
SYN, (This may get x rated, is SYN, the same as sin?) ---now we're back to fortitude again. (Is this dictionary "challenged" or what??? It ainna makin no f-kin sense!!! I reckon that's what you get when you're using one of them old fashioned dictionaries! It was copyrighted many, many times, last time in 1994, damn that be18 years ago! This here world we live in today has changed so much! Well now it must be a smart dictionary, because it is a third college edition, 'New World Dictionary' of American English! I don't reckon it be too smart, if they didn't get it right, and this is the third addition! Must be plenty of mistakes, and they keep fixin them words! Yep! That makes a heap o sense to this country boy, and it ain't the top notch dictionary, as in proper English! To be accurate, it must be "The English, English"!

Damn this understanding of one word is f-kin me brain up, big time! (Just to change the subject a mite. I LOVE them women newscasters from Great Britain, when they read the news! I have no idea what the news is, because I LOVE the way they speak!!! Um! Um! Um!

SEE HOW I GET SIDETRACKED, IT AIN'T EASY BEING ME!

So my dictionary goes on by using the word, 'grit' applies to an obstinate sort of courage, that refuses to succumb under any circumstances. Now it starts talking about 'backbone.' I'm beginning to think somebody as f-ked up as me wrote this! Backbone refers to the strength of character and resoluteness that permits one to face opposition unflinched. Now it's talking about pluck and guts! Pluck implies a strong heart in the face of danger or difficulty. Guts, a colloquial word, suggests the sort of stamina that permits one to "stomach" a disagreeable or frightening experience. See also PATIENCE ---ANT, cowardice.

PLEASE BEAR WITH ME, AS I UNTANGLE THE FINE MESS I FIND MYSELF IN!!!!!!

I think one of them 'automatic writing' spirits, made me use the word fortitude, knowing damn well it would lock up my mind, like a fort locked up tight before a big fight! Well this here ol' country boy as in country man now, goes on 'automatic craziness.' Them damn spirits be a tryin to take over me brain and I ainna gonna let'm.

So I have no idea what fortitude, nor fortitudinous means and I no longer f-kin care. It rambles on about backbone, pluck my f-kin guts, and to "stomach", see also PATIENCE ---ANT, cowardice!!! Yada! YYada! YYYada! I NO LONGER F-KIN CARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then this smart ass college dick-headed-dictionary, throws in some words like, obstinate, succumb, resoluteness, colloquial! Sheesh! This would be a never ending post if I look up all the words and try to understand, BECAUSE the dick-headed-dictionary keeps using words, not in my normal every day world! I ainna a third world college dictionary. I be the third born child of seven, who comes from humble normal, common people! "We are the world baby!" We ain't the college ones, NOR the challenged ones! WE ARE THE LINKS, OF EVERY CHAIN THAT HOLDS, THIS WORLD TOGETHER!!!