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Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Ain't Easy For An Old Dog To Learn New Tricks!

Good morning, good afternoon, wherever you are. Welcome, Ukraine, Lithuania, Poland and the Netherlands, ol' Glen says "HOWDY!" No matter how you found me, I welcome you to my humble site! I never know what I'm about to say. That my friends is what keeps me typing whatever comes into focus in an old man's brain! WELL as focused as my mind can be! It be harder than giving a mountain lion a bath ... well I have NEVER gave a mountain lion a bath ... and, and, and, I sure as hell ainna gonna try!

I be priming my pump, bringing them words from my conscious, subconscious, other planes. Sheesh, don't matter where they come from, I like to let my fingers walk all over this Hewie Picardo keyboard, It be my gateway to another world. ( Please tell me you people out there name your keyboards! ) I went through about a dozed keyboards before I found one willing to work with me. "What did I do with them?" I threw them suckers out in my driveway and smashed them !@#$ers into a million pieces with my van!

After about $200.00 worth of keyboards my Missy said "!@#$%^&*()_+ ain't the keyboards fault you can't type and write worth a shit!"

Suddenly fireworks went off above my head! YEP! Them women are always right! ( Please don't let her know I said that though, OKAY! )

She said "Since you never learned to type in your first 60 years, you must practice, practice, practice!"

DAMN!!! I didn't know it would be so HARD to learn such a simple thing! Seems my mind be thinkin and my fingers ainna listening, communicating, OR plum don't give a rat's ass! It be like where I work! The bosses be saying to Sloth Man one thing, and he be hearing something else! See the problem here is like my problem learning to type. "How so?" I'm so glad somebody asks, otherwise I could not be able to answer that question, now would I?

As you may have surmised .................. I ramble ... A LOT! Don't be scared, I'm really a good ol' boy who has an overactive mind! Hey better than sitting in a nut house staring at a light bulb right? Uh, Huh! I think! I've never stared at a light bulb, it may be enlightening! Ah, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Oh, I was about to make some kind a point, about, oh yeah! COMMUNICATION! When there be a failure of communication, things get !@#$ed up, don't they? Well to be short and sweet about communication where I work "there ain't none!!!" Damn, that be short and sweet and showing my I. Q.!!! "There ain't none!" I could of used some college words, if I knew some!

I best be getting back to me and the keyboard before I make you think I'm as silly!!! Oops! I bet its too late!!!

Anyhow, I been practicing and practicing and practicing ... ain't easy for an old dog to learn new tricks ... but me brain and me fingers are trying and ... WE gonna keep on a trying! U know somehow, I have the feeling the FUN be, "the trying part!" Iffa, thata, maka, any sense to y'all out there! ( I do, believe it do! )

Somehow, if I had been fortunate enough to majored in Journalism and worked a 9 to 5 job making a living off of putting words together in any number of settings, it would be, "just a job!"

Unless ... I could be a political writer for the big boys, about now! If I had a degree from one of them Ivy League Colleges, whoo-wee, I could be a visionary searching out new life for the prettiest words and phrases for my candidate to say! Do they give any kind of prizes for the best imagination of a political speech writer? Well they should!!!

Gosh darn it! I cannot stay away from politics at this time!

I'm having fun and learning something to occupy this old mind I lovingly call Glen View! I give to you "ME!"   Good night, good day and I promise I'm gonna keep on practicing!  I HOPE I NEVER GET IT RIGHT, WON'T BE ANY FUN!    Glen


  1. Well first of all you didn't welcome the Peninsula. I think I am going to go off and pout. Bye..............

    Wait wait wait, only kidding. I think the Peninsula was included in the "wherever you are" phrase right? *smiles*

    So where to begin? You wrote a lot here and I should comment more thoroughly than I do half the time.

    I have this picture in my mind of you trying to give a mountain lion a bath. I'm thinking there wouldn't be much left of the dear Professor if you tried, so I agree, don't even try it Glen !

    I'm laughing so hard over your description of yourself throwing out the keyboards , and I love your sweet Missy ! She sure told you like it was now didn't she ? Well, we women are not "always" right, but when we are, you men need to listen to us . It saves you a lot of trouble and time in the dog house right?

    That part about communication........all I can say is I AIN'T gonna read your blog if you start using them there college words cuz then I have to look up every other word and I will find myself in the same predicament you are always in when you look up words. So just stick with the way you write now. It's good it is the BEST. You are real and genuine and down to earth and I like reading your blogs. Not that I am the only one who reads, but I am a pretty faithful commentator, or is that commenter? Anyhoo, that should count for something.

    I agree with your last sentence, don't ever get it right because then all the fun goes out of it. It's no fun reading those perfect pieces of journalism with those college words and perfect gammar...........but wait, I don't see that often because I have noticed that even those edumacated college grads can't spell worth a durn.

    Good night, or good morning, whatever time it is when you read this.