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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

The Golden City (Part One)

PLEASE BEAR WITH ME, THIS STORY I HAVE BEEN WRITING FOR A SPELL HAS TAKEN COUNTLESS TWISTS AND TURNS. MAYBE THERE'S NO REASON FOR A SERIOUS STORY BASED ON TWO DREAMS, AND ASPECTS OF LIFE TO FLOW IN A ORGANIZED MANNER, IS THERE? NOT WITH ME!!! IT SEEMS IMPORTANT TO LAY A FOUNDATION FOR WHERE I ULTIMATELY WISH TO CONCLUDE WITH AN ACTUAL DREAM. I FEAR, THAT IF I DO NOT POST WHAT I HAVE, IT WILL END UP IN THE NEVER ENDING UNCOMPLETED POST SECTION OF WHICH WAY TOO MANY OF MY DREAMS, STORIES, SEEM TO BE GOING. I CAN WRITE MY STORIES ONLY WHEN MY MIND IS RELAX AND FREE.
COMING HOME AFTER 'A HARD DAY'S NIGHT,' I HUMOROUSLY, YET ACTUALLY WORK, FINDS MY MIND IN A DIFFERENT WORLD ALTOGETHER. THIS MOOD WHICH I HAVE LEARNED TO WORK WITH ALLOWS A BETTER DEEPER SLEEP, OF WHICH I AM ETERNALLY GRATEFUL! MY WAY OF RELAXING, SELF-MEDICATING MEDITATION!

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Every night the man sits at his computer, a hobby realised only upon retirement. His body suffers from life's agonies, a factory laborer whom simply cannot do the labor, any longer! Forced to retire, body worn out. Favorite hobbies also require physical abilities he no longer has. Back rigid, joints arthritic. Planting and tending the garden takes all his effort and commitment, at least for a little while each day he can feel the sunshine upon his torn, tattered body, daydreaming of what once was!  No mind to complaining, he and his spouse, have fallen into a workable schedule of basic daily activities that fill the days, without knowing or needing to know what day of the week it is. No longer relevant in the days of sameness one is blessed with, or must endure. Once finding the time in a busy day to read the newspaper, has become a walk to the paper box, a reason to get out of the house plus a couple hours scouring every inch. Now and only 'now' does he have the time to read between the lines, so to speak! He see so much untruth's, partial truth's, wrongs that went overlooked in the younger days. Why now when energy is sapped? It cuts deeply with no place to go! Sitting around the Senior Center discussing what's wrong with the world pays no dividends. Young look upon the old folks as standing in the way of their entitlements. Sadly that thought makes it worse as one questions at what shape it's being left to them!

Books newspaper harder to read with aging, ever falling eyesight, need more light or the light just right, but still enjoyable, non the less. Everything has slowed down to match the strides of aging. Once a meal was fast to gulp down and get on with activities. Now its an hour to kill! Once a man, by what one could do! Now the flip side is !!!

Many discussions with your spouse, when no longer able to feed, dress, carrying on minimal daily  affairs, other than taking care of each other, life no longer worth while. When one is full of youthfulness, such conversations are not important. Only after a once sound body fades does reality, really, take hold. Continual disintegration of one's, such as relatives, friends through accidents, alcohol, illness, does one's eyes open, leaving the inevitable, indelibly stamped! Childhood cartoons and Disney movies are replaced by the continual downward spiral. Real world has not perfect endings.

Countless funerals attended over one's life, accompanied with sermons of the love ones going to a far better place, carries little solace, no matter how prepared, one is. Children cannot grasp funerals, only to understand someone has left never to be seen again. The memories of love ones lost, etched forever inside their hearts.

( He personally remembers losing a young sister at the age of six. She was less than two years old. Losing his true father figure at the age of twelve, forever changed the balence of childhood, it disappeared! Those who lost love ones early, understand the never ending questions? It changes one, forces one to grow up too fast. One day a child with childhood simplicities, then a life is gone the innocence lost, childhood's gone, obstacles linger, never to be understood!

Young one's are so full of life to be tamed! Does the lion tamer, tame? "I think not!"  Ah! To be 18 again and full of looking forward! It passes, "don't it!"

Marriage, children, living life as well as one's able too! Before you know it, the body reflects signs of aging. Brush it off, too much going on, to slow down. Friends, relatives, die off from accidents, illness, life most assuredly, 'always wins,' when its time, "ITS time!"

Another birthday, mind's as clear as ever, a lifetime under the belt, he chuckles "and a bigger belt, with more years to come, but hopefully not a still larger belt." Yet, the birthday seems harder, heavier, somehow laughing once again, "its only, one more day," but feeling it more, so much more, obstacles of life continually stack up. If you're to live, to the average age,  many more are to come, sadly deterioration and age comes way too fast!

Doctors, medicines are more now than ever. It's the building up of all, "the ever increasing tartar of life" as he laughs once more at that thought.

After the body forces you to take it easy, when you would rather be doing all the fun stuff you once knew, life has slowed down so much you and your spouse no longer discuss the thing you once did openly, however; you know the time will come and when one passes, it won't be long for the other. Seems both are hanging on willing time until!!!!   

MORE TO COME LATER AS TIME AND MOOD ALLOWS!    Your pal here at GLEN VIEW  

1 comment:

  1. Love this post, there is a lot to think about and I will reread it more than once.

    ReplyDelete