Tangled Webs

Hello once again my friends. It's early am and my mind is on overload. I've just finished the book Crime And Punishment. After finishing the most amazing read of my life, I'm in mourning. I have enjoyed the book as one might enjoy a fine wine, savoring every word. I'm not sure where to go from here. I feel a mite lost. Seems at this point of my life this book carries much weight. Even though most of my life I have been an avid reader, one must taste life in order to fully evaluate what this man writes of.

Any reading can bring pleasure to those of us that truly love to read, not as just a way to pass the time but as a way to add inner understanding, data to our library we call, our mind. You see that's why a young boy such a me became overjoyed at the opening of the magical cover of books. There lies The Kingdom of Knowledge. I laugh just now at that thought occurring at this moment in time. A simple little game we played as children 'open says me' seems relevant. The world of magically uttering the secret word that opens a locked door. A child's view of Genies, and such! Funny how that though disappeared for such a long time as adulthood buries deeply a child's mind. Ah the child's mind such a wonderful thing. Imagination extraordinaire. Seems as late I've tapped back into my childhood imagination, I love it on the most grandiose scale, I wish to carry it forever more!!!

I dare to feel I am not of this time period. The older I get the more strongly do I feel that! I have always felt out of place even as a child. It was not the disgrace of being poor nor the lack of love. My mother gave me the needed love, my spouse of 38 years adds to that. A rearing of much uncertainty on my father's side has created much turmoil that persist's to this very day. I valiantly give all my might exorcising his torments, his demons so to speak. Don't feel sorry for me! The children of today I fear face more than I in the world of today! At least I have tried to understand and work out the tangled webs. To not know and turn to the wrong crowd that leads to destroying of what beautiful character one possesses runs rampant from the breaking down of morality. Morality is preached upon, but not easily witnessed. Too much excessiveness lies in wait. Legislative morality is such a laugh. The ones legislating cannot follow the basic COMMANDMENTS.

I do not intend to expound upon religion. That to me is a personal matter not found in the most basic of places. Spirituality is either in ones soul or not. Can it be found sure! One must find it in their own way, their own context to attach to one's heart. I will not preach to you, rather I will give my thoughts and 60 years of understanding, "MY WAY!"

IF YOUR OWN SELF AWARENESS AND UNDERSTANDING FITS YOU, I'M HAPPY FOR YOU!

I search for peace in a world of chaos. But there has always been chaos no matter how small the world!

That's what's so magnificently wonderful, more so in the written word than the spoken word. I hear ones  asking "How so?" Intelligent two way conversations are hard to find, in the everyday world. Won't find them in the mass media, that's a certainty.

I reckon I have become somewhat reclusive in my latter years, of that I'm guilty. Upon my venturing into the outside everyday world, I restrict myself as much as I can. I am hard of hearing but my other senses are honed. If not for my immediate family and monetary needs I feel I would like to travel backwards to accept my rightful place or be stranded in a library to spend eternity reading. Whoops, hold on there partner. I just now realised what I said!!! Possibly my new fangled hobby at the ripe old age of sixty has provided the outlet I have searched for, ya reckon? That be this here modern communication device, a way of opening up my mind and talking to myself, through myself, through you or something like that!   Goodnight until we meet again. Glen