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Saturday, April 21, 2012

To Be, Or, Not To Be! Ah, Ha, Ha!!!

To be, or not to be, as in, to be nutty, or not! Nutty wins, yeah! What did you expect from me, huh? How be it in your neighbahood? I'm still here and am still trucking, so that be good I reckon, even though sometimes, I just want to put my head, and my whole body in the sand! U-know what I'm saying!!! But that be so, so, forever, that be, a long time! I don't mind being old you see. For the first time in my life I know who I am, and am content mostly... I have formed an invisible boundary around me, and am trying to produce a force field also. So that, if some people, become too much, or come too close to me, I can zap them with my force field saying to them "take that sucker!" Man how I would love that! Instead of talking to people and telling them how ignorant they are, I'll just zap them! Uwe, la, la I love it!!! Just imagining that force field around me makes me tingle with delight! Go up to your boss, who be in a bad mood, zap 'em! You gonna be uncivilized to this old man, I'll zap yer ass, I'll really give ya something to look mad about! Damn I can see the orders rolling in for Glen's Zap 'em! I feel like a millionaire and haven't made one! (So nice to have an overactive imagination, so much better than an over active bladder, wouldn't you say!!!) Good God almighty! Seeing ones jumping back from me like, I just hit them with a stun gun is making me woozy, from inner laughter! To really do it, would have me rolling on the floor! I'll go to the Doctor's office and if that snooty receptionist, is being snooty, full of herself this morning. If she is snooty to a poor old man that pays her salary + I got insurance and many physical and mental disorders. I'll  jolt her right's good, not just a tad, I'll hity her really good, until she smiles at me with the look of a friendly dumb blonde! I'm sorry to pick on blondes, but damn, I had to explain that look, u-know! I am escorted back to my examining room by the nurse, ready to zap her if she ain't good to me. I be ready mind ya!  I be chomping at the bit, ready for that Doctor of mine! I wait and wait and wait, man is he gonna get it! I'm going to try my zap 'em good a new setting I haven't tried yet! He gonna be the first, just because he be a Doctor, my time is important too, u-know! I could of been home watching Married With Children or The Simpletons or Father Don't Know Shit! U-know good family shows with morals, that they make today! Anything would be better than staring at these little walls, thinking about all the sick people that have touched everything in this room, a gazillion times! That Doctor Sucker, he gonna get my new zap 'em good setting! I'm studying about ways to make a fry 'em good setting, by doubling the battery power! My oh my! I feel like a Maad Scientist, as in a really Maad Scientist! I'm wringing my hands, I look into the mirror, at myself, my once calm demeanor has shape shifted into a Maad hideous looking, well u-know, Maad Scientist looking feller see!

SHE--- WITH LONG LEGS SHOWING UNDER THAT BEAUTIFUL WHITE DOCTOR'S SMOCK, casually walks in and says "how are you today, Mr. Jekyll, or is it Mr. Hyde today? I'm kinda new here. your Doctor is in Glenview, seems he has gone nutso! May I help you?"

Suddenly the overwhelming, unbridled passion of zaping my Doctor is gone, standing before me is an angel! Uwe, la, la! She be the most beautiful Doctor I could imagine! I've now shape shifted into a 18 year old! I reverse polarity of the force field, zap gun, doog-a-ma-floppy. I'm gonna zap myself to see if I'm dreaming, and if I ain't a dreaming, I'm gonna zap myself, real good, so this angel will examine me, u-know what I mean!!!     Something silly before bedtime, hope you like it!!! Glen           I'M BACK!!!!

1 comment:

  1. I wouldn't mind owning one of those "Glen Zap-em's" Just how much are you planning on charging? haha.

    Good to see you BACK!!!