The Now

To write or not to write, that be the question? What if my old brain is tapped out? Oh my, nothing to say! No silliness, no playing with words! Oh shit! There is one thing on my mind, so I might as well give it a go.

I wish to live for, now! This moment--- then the next moment and so on and so forth. I wish to know, to focus only, on this point, in time! Why? A lifetime of uncontrollable thoughts run through my mind at any second. Why? I don't know!  A person with inner anxieties, the damn turmoil never stops, no other way is known! Ah! Back to childhood, possibly conflict, festering, making you this way! An unwilling behavior. I will diagnose myself. To do this, I must go back to the past. Ahhh!!! The past has never left me! The past is always present! So I'll never be able to live in the, The Now! Will I? All experiences good or bad is one thought away. I choose to keep the good and to expell the bad. I can't do that, can I!  The unpleasant memories have grown too deep! When bad memories surface, I try to ignore them, making them go away! By willing a different thought, to overshadow my current one, but sooner or later all them damn memories reappear. Smells, sights, sounds, people, rudeness, waiting, the list is endless!!! Then there's the dejavu flashes, most likely only a fraction of a second... How the hell do you stop such madness, because that's exactly what it is, madness!

Meditation is the answer right? How many people, do you know meditate? Cleanse the mind and feel the power of the universe flowing through their body, achieving that inner peace! Oh yeah! Everybody in my Meditaion Club does this! I betcha the people that meditate and feel that power flow through their body is what percentage? Very low I would guess! This should be taught as part of a regular curriculum starting in grade school. If a kindergarden child has a regular scheduled nap time, that is a good start. That is a stress free change of pace. Wow most certainly is!

I must admit there was one point in my life I was actively working on meditation, and seeing results. But life calls! I let what progress I made, slip away! To succed, it must become part of your life, a ritual, first and foremost before anything else! Damn, that's hard to do! Had I been able to stay with it, who knows what might of transpired. I may of become one of them far away looking ones that nothing seems to faze. I see ones with glazed over eyes, but I don't think their meditating! Maybe self-medicating! Most likely their brain cells are burnt out. Or, as I like to say "the lights are on, but noobody's home!"

I ache for that relaxation state of mind! The closest thing I come too achieving it, is in my dreams. I awake with inner peace in ways that's hard to explain. Just last night I had several so real! They were off the charts! I'm hoping my chosen life style change, is rewarding me in ways I never imagined! Man, I hope so !!! The only problem with this is I can't control it as I imagine true meditation would. 

I know, I've rambled but know of no other way to voice my true inner thoughts! My thoughts my ramblings are the voices of others, I'm sure. To live in the moment to enjoy all the overlooked  is what I wish for. Damn I've barely scratched the surface of what I want to say!

To block out our minds to see only The Now sounds so wondeful! To live in The Now, without past destroying, or the worry of what tomorrow may bring. To fret about what may be, or flashes of thoughts from the past, kill us as surely as my name is Glen and this is Glen View. Goodnight and my wish for you is pleasant thoughts and beautiful dreams!!!!!!!!!!!!!