I USUALLY HAVE A BEGINNING SENTENCE AND LET-ER GO FROM THERE. AS YOU WILL SEE FROM THIS POST MY MIND GOES WHERE IT WISHES AND I HAD A HOOT WITH THIS POST. IF YOU NEED A GOOD LAUGH SEE BELOW AND DO LISTEN, CAUSE READING WILL NOT DO 'BAMBULANCE' JUSTICE! TAKE MY WORD FOR IT! Glen
Did you hear the birds sing this morning? I did! Normally I do not! Why? I have a considerable hearing loss. I'm considered deaf at certain pitches. Apparently birds are one of these pitches along with crickets. I admit I have become used to not hearing certain annoying sounds, however; birds are not one of them. It was beautiful at daybreak!
Certain sounds drive me through the wall or make me want to climb the wall or go over the wall even without my hearing aids in.
I drive a diesel truck and I absolutely hate the rattle rattle sounds, of a diesel engine with my hearing aids in!!! However I'm not legal to drive my commercial truck without them! With my aids in while driving my truck I hear every noise amplified, driving me fricking crazy! I know I know, that's probably why you're thinking I'm fricking nuts! Nah! Even without my aids in certain sounds (Noise, seems more appropriate, than sounds, actually noise pollution is even better!) like scanners at every fricking store, seems the grocery stores are the worst! Noise like that is why I don't wear my aids often. I can be fifty feet away and uwe-we! Lights me up baby!
Another one, I'm driving my van with the windows rolled up at a stop light, a Harley Davidson motorcycle pulls alongside, rrr,rrr, rrr, revving that stupid ass engine with straight pipes and a 60 year old, half deaf man, without his hearing aids in wants to step outside and slowly walk over with my cane and smack the Hulk Hogan looking, black jacket, tattoo wearing, lame brain upside his fricking head and say to him, "rev that engine out there on he open road all you want and wrap it around a tree but damn don't do it at a stoplight you moron!"
Also the reverberating noise pollution coming from some youngin's Kia Reo. A thousand dollar beat up clunker with 5,ooo.oo $'s worth of gizmos in the back seat and trunk? Apparently a Radio Shack full of blast out the glass on my van with a gazillion watts of power! I feel the bass bouncing of my chest and my heart tightening up! My big chug of diet cola is shaking and my ice quickly melts as though waves of high energy is shaking it, and baby, I'm all shook up!!!!
Remember know I have a considerable hearing loss in order to to qualify to drive my commercial truck I must wear them.
Another good one that further adds to my mental imbalance or craziness if you prefer or challenged ways. I'm pumping gas in my Green Hornet mini van and a ambulance or is it bam-bu-lance! The sound of the 105 decibels blaring fricking siren as it goes by is excruciating, sending stingers from a thousands hornets into my half deaf ears giving me a splitting head! I can't stand it as it whizzes by my van! How the hell can...here's my favorite word once again... 'normal' people stand it
OH SHIT! I got sidetracked, imagine that! Now I must tell you a bit of this funny true story, I heard a few years back being played on the radio. Oh shit I just remembered, when you get old like me a few years may be more than a few! Because this man was calling from a phone booth, we don't have no phone booths anymore around my neck of the woods, here in the Heartland. Sheesh this simple little story is going to be harder to tell than I originally thought and it wasn't even in my thoughts when I started this post, yikes see hard it is being me!!!
Okay I may as well finish this story as short and as sweet since it popped into my damn!
There was this man who is calling the 911 emergency operator to report something very strange and extremely funny, I mean rolling in the floor funny!!!
I cannot do this story justice, Google 'Joe Vs. The Deer 911 Call Sound Clip and Quote' or simply google 'bambulance' I kid you not it is hilarious!!! You must listen to this call, reading will not do it justice, I absolutely assure you!!!