Crap On, Crap Off!

YOU KNOW I CAN UNDERSTAND, IF WHEN READING MY MEANDERING INNER WORKINGS, I LOVINGLY AND LAUGHINGLY CALL GLEN VIEW. IF YOU THINK TO YOURSELF "I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TAKE THIS FELLA?" PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE, I HAVE THE SAME THOUGHTS!!! SO JUST TRY TO SMILE, LAUGH OR MY FAVORITE AT WORK RIGHT NOW... I SHAKE MY HEAD AND KEEP ON TRUCKIN!   (I WASSA THINKIN ABOUT WHAT TO CALL THIS BUNCH O WORDS.) THEN IT HIT ME! THERE WAS A COMMERCIAL WHERE YOU CLAP TO TURN THE LIGHTS ON, OR OFF. THE MAGIC DAYS OF THE 'CLAPPER', THEN THE WORD CRAPPER HIT! (THE CRAPPER BE SLANG FOR COMMODE, TOILET, OUT HOUSE ETC.. I HATE USING ALL THESE HIGHLY EDUCATED WORDS ON YOU, BUTT... A TID BIT OF WHERE THIS SHENANIGAN OF A POST IS HEADED.  CAUTION READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!  I DID HAVE A BLAST WRITING IT, TRUTH IS SILLIER THAN FICTION!!! HA HA!
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I'm sorry I don't know where this bit of silliness I'm about to write will 'end,' 'but' I don't think it can go much lower than what I'm about to say. I made a late night jaunt in my work truck to a sister plant. On the way back I got light headed from inhaling diesel fumes, from all the commercial trucks. (That be my way of making an excuse for where my mind was!) I had one pallet jack on my almost empty truck and some cleaning supplies. Oh my, what have I gotten myself into? There was a pallet with two boxes of trash bags, a box of hand cleaner, a box of them fold up paper towels, two of them plastic brushes that clean up inside the toilet yuck, and one industrial size box of toilet paper.

Pure silliness within my head, flashes an old commercial, I remember seeing on television, most likely hundreds of times, you know how them Air-headed-ass-holes-advertisers, repeat them !@#ING commercials, brainwashing you, bombarding you with the name of their new, improved, better, whatever, whatch-a-ma-call-it product. I have no idea how old this commercial is, 'butt' I remember a man, sitting in a little rink-a-dink boat after someone flushes the toilet. The whole thing is about this liquid cleaning that there toilet bowl, antiseptically clean and this little man in the bowl somewhere, hopefully up top in the clean water fighting not to fall overboard, as them special blue cleansing waves flow by. I think he was called the Tidy Bowl Man or something to that effect.

Yes there is a point here! Just hang onto yer breeches or I'll put you into that little dinky boat with the little man and flush! (Goodness gracious I'm feeling mean tonight OR crazier than ever, from them !@#$ing diesel fumes!)
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((( Oh! Oh! Oh! I interrupt this stupid 'ass' whatever it is, to bring you a real funny, I see-d last week, a true story from here in my hometown of Daisyville.)))      [oh yes, and i did mean to say see-d, and amma gettin sillier by the moment, and i ain't inhaling no diesel fumes! SCARRY, I KNOW!!!!]

Last week at Special Needs Are Us, where I work and where others... well I'm not quite sure what they DO! But when I figure it out, you'll be the first to know! There was this young man pushing a pallet jack with empty pallets back out of the way with his right hand. Now picture this, he is already wearing them low riding shorts and they are a starting to ride l-o-w-e-r, as he walks, and a pushin, butt, butt, his other hand has something in it, a super size styrofoam cup, filled with delicious, cool, icy, caffeine loaded drink. Them shorts are a drooping!  I'm telling ya! I am mesmerized, wondering what's gonna happen! I'm already laughing. Them shorts are reaching the critical point! He reaches down with his left hand to pull up his breeches! Suddenly he realizes, he cannot accomplish his mission, he has a cool, refreshing drink! I think "them shorts are gonna go!!!" I'm laughing out loud! Better than watching The Three Stooges after school as a ten year old! Can't get a grip with his left hand, right hand busy pushing the pallet jack! Critical mass has been reached, he saves the day, OR kept from being an ass, or showing his ass! He stops just as them shorts, was short, of leaving the last hold up on his buttocks! He weren't about to spill that cool, refreshing drink, no way Jose! That lightning fast right hand o' his pulls loose of that jack handle and grabs his breeches in the nick of time! Mission accomplished! He saves his drink and keeps from showing his ass simultaneously! What a man! What a man!
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So on the way back from our sister company after dropping off a couple pallets of real factory stuff, I was fortunate enough to have the pleasure of dropping some important supplies off to them. One new dust mop, with a brand new dust head, whew-wee... they'll be soo happy... I dropped by! I ain't done yet! It be like Christmas in July! Two boxes of urinal something or the other! Issa figure, that's all I need to know about that! Hey... I ainna done yet! Now what would go right nicely with a new dust mop and the new dusty doo-dad? Yep! A box of garbage bags!

Okay I'm not done o thinkin! Sometimes I think "I'm on the bottom rung of the ladder at work" or as I have thought many a times "I always seem to get the shit end of the stick!"

I accomplish my mission with my head held high! I may be getting on in years, but I can still deliver, probably the most expensive toilet paper that my associates will ever wipe their asses with, diesel fuel well over three dollars a gallon. That big ass box of toilet paper and them mighty important things on my truck was the only thing on my truck fer nearly 70 miles. You know life has to be good and funny if you're on overtime delivering toilet paper! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! GOODNIGHT MY FRIENDS, MAY YE NEVER RUN OUT OF TOILET PAPER!!!         "C-L-A-P OFF"
You know I had a heap o fun writing this silliness and sit on it for a few days. if you can't laugh at your-glen, then you can't laugh at NOTHING!!! gOOd nIGHt.....................................