I was driving my truck late one hot summer night and behold a funny thought jumped into my head as I drove past an Army Base entrance. I had to pee and this silliness came out of me. Kinda funny! I must say as I'm taking a lot o'meds to take off water from around my heart, however; it sure seems like the opportune time to have some fun and you know old Glen Bob just loves to have fun! So I'll make my little poem that jumped out de (seems I've feel in love with this itty-bitty word, don't it!) bushes that hot night many years ago!
I wish to ask a ? of y'all! I sometimes clean up even me silliness. I know that might be hard to believe but I can be even sillier than I am!!! That be a scary OR an even sillier thought! My mind gives me word "de" instead of "the" and many other words, so on and so forth. While I find them to be entertaining, I'm not sure about you the readers. I reckon ones in the U. S. will get it, but I've wondered how it must translate in other countries? I tend to not really turn'er loose because of that. Then again I've thought of starting my own word translation dictionary and posting before my really silly posts. Right now I probably don't have a lot of words I play with but have more popping up all the time. I think it would be neat. (Does anybody still use that word anymore?) Maybe Glen Bob's Dickhead-O-nary for the mental misfits. U-know something catchier than Webster's Dictionary, uwe, uwe, uwe!
The point behind the point is y'all know I be mentally incomplete and incompetent (Sorry a little more than normal silliness escaping!) and have a significant hearing loss, so I think I could go much farther and have fun with it, and I do! I want that humor I find in trying to communicate, to come across to all my friends out there and you might just get a better understanding of the hearing impaired to go along with my mentally impairment!! AH,HA,HA,HA!
Maybe I better clarify the Glen Bob thing a ma bob, causin I don't think I have called myself that in a post before! About 13 years ago a couple young-ins on day shift at the same place where I am still employed started calling me Glen Bob square pants. I had recently lost weight and my pants didn't fit right so I began wearing suspenders. Suspenders are more comfortable than a belt while working. It was harmless teasing like what happens in a close knit working environment so it didn't bother me. I just thought they're making fun of my suspenders. I ask Blonde one day "I understand the square pants thing but what's with the Bob thing?" She laughs and says "haven't you ever heard of Sponge Bob Square Pants?" My answer was "nope!" Then she told me about Sponge Bob. Well needless to say I then had to check Sponge Bob out on the cartoon network. Well they was just teasing me and we all got along fine so it didn't bother me! Glen Bob stuck while I was on day shift.
"Bee All You Can Bee"
I wish to be all I could bee!
So I joined the Armee!
While out driving my hummee!
I had to pee!
While u-know.... I was stung by a bee!
My pee wee, swelled to twice the size it used to bee!
It became soo swollen, I could not pee!
I was terribly worried about my enormous pee wee!
I go to the hospital and they insert a tubee!
Where? Into my big pee wee!
After swelling subsided, they pulled the tube out force-fullee!
They! Pulled off my pee wee!
All I could do was holler, loudlee! "Wee! Wee! Wee!
Man! How news spreads when you lose your pee wee!
My missing wienie was a hot topic all over the globee!
I wondered how such a little thingee?
Could make such a big splashee!
This was years ago and Jerry Springer heard about me!
Man did he ever want for me to be on T. V.
The show got out of controlee!
The women dropped their toppee's!
The men dropped their pants and showed their pee wees!
I got caught up in the moment and showed where mine used to be!
Gasp from the women and all men hollered We! We!We!
Well this was the show of shows on Jerry Springer T. V.
A surgeon heard about me!
She wished to fix my pee wee!
She said "for free!"
The best part is still to be!
The lady Doctor's name is Dee!
She installed a pump to my rumpee!
She insists on making personal adjustments, quite often on my new pee wee!
She's a nice looking middle aged ladyee!
She takes the hands on approach when dealing with me!
She takes me homee!
She's awfully nice to me!
She has given me a new lease on my lifee!
Plus, I can make her sing like a larkee!
As she personally takes good care of me!
I believe, I'm better now than I ever could be!!!
I HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED MY SILLINESS BECAUSE THIS IS JUST ONE, OF MANY PARTS OF ME! Glen