DIARIST

I reckon, I have become a diarist. I certainly never expected it to turn out that way! But one certainly does not know what the future brings, do we? If I did know what the future was, I would have mucho money and live some place with warm ocean breezes caressing my tired old body! Ah! But, if I was mucho rich, my old body would not be tired right? Damn! To ponder upon what might of been! Creates dream like euphoria! But! Would I want to be rich? Most interesting thought that has gone through all poor peoples mind since FOREVER ! My answer.........

@#$k-No!!! Why? I'm a simple man, always have been, always will be! Ladies and Gentlemen and all aliens from this planet or beyond! I think in simple ways and quite simply, DON'T have to worry about all me damn money! I have none! That's pretty simple right! What kind of life is there to enjoy! If you worry about your money all day, every day? No sir! Not Mr. Glen Poorman. (That be a ha ha for you Timster.)

I would be totally out of this world ecstatic to have my bills paid off, have health insurance and be able to work only four hours a day! Damn! That ain't too much to ask for, is it? You see, I like to work! Why? Damn it keeps me alive! Keeps my pumper a-pumping with shots of that all natural adrenalin! The all natural wonder drug of the caveman! To outrun the little woman when she asks "what did you bring us for dinner you stupid caveman?" (Oopsey! I got a wee bit sidetracked there sorry!) I really don't long for much at this stage in my life. That makes it very good because I don't have much! But compared to others I have a lot, I reckon and I'm extremely thankful for that. I have my sanity, (yeah right! Ah hahahahaha.) The comforts of home and family and the most exciting thing I've done in many a moons! What be that you ask? This right here! A way of expression not conceived of, until a couple years ago. Who would of thought a uneducated hillbilly would take a stab at writing. Not me, not me, not me, no way, no how! I love it! No I mean, I REALLY LOVE IT!!! UM! UM! UM! Better than peanut butter and jelly with a glass of milk!

My diary is different than one might expect. At least I reckon, I never really thought much about that until this moment. Does anyone beside young girls keep diaries? I have never known a young man to keep a diary.

Actually, It began quite simply as a way to practice my typing. If y'all remember correctly I never learned to type as a young man, never had me one of these here c-o-m-p-u-t-e-r-s. As a old man I wanted to write, sooo I must practice, rather logical huh! (Ah ha ha, just messing with ya!) I was thinkin, I gotta have somethun to talk about, I mean write about. The only thing my dog would tell me sounded like wooof! I reckon, I'll write whatever is on my mind, anything and everything. Seemed like a good idea at that moment. So in between my stories I have put into writing The Chronicles Of Glen, I reckon, you reckon we all reckon and it has been a hoot! (I hope, to you to, I reckon, haha!) I'm still learning to write and still practicing my typing. That damn typing hasn't come easy to an old man. The thinkin part is easy, I have an overactive imagination don't you think? 

I had some foool ask me. "What kind of writing do you do?" Threw o'l Glen for a loop-de-loop! I didn't know there was but one kind of writing. If you spoke English you wrote English, Dah!!! But within that I suppose you have what I call Propa English and you have what I do, Impropa English. But damn it all to hell, if I get somethun real close to propa, I figure y'all out there can reckon it out, can't ya! (In times of trouble I regress back to my hillbilly roots on me daddy's side, sorry!)

Damn I went for a hearing test and the Doctor of Audiology said "you read lips at 75 %."

I ask the Doctor "what percentage of hearing loss do I have?" (I seem to have trouble in c-o-m-m-u-n-i-c-a-t-i-o-n big time.)

The Doctor says "we don't deal with hearing loss in percentages." You see how hard it is to get a straight answer from ANYBODY!!! She goes on rattling off numbers and words like I knew what the fuck she was talkin about! She be a DOCTOR of ASS-HOLE-OLOGY is my way of thinkin! Ya reckon we REGULAR PEOPLE study de crap they ur feeding US! I don't think so!!!

So I ask again, Doctor if anybody ask me "how bad is my hearing loss, what do I tell them?"

Doctor of Audiology says "moderate to severe". Whoopee, another D and F in my schoolin of life. my momma's gonna be so proud of her youngin! Just like regular school!

I reckon, I'll keep on practicin, my impropa writin, cause I'm havin so much fun. Ya never know this might be the prescription an old man needs to salvage himself from the depths the DOCTORS OF ASSOLOGY HAVE NOT PRESCRIBED FOR ME!   Goodnight me friends!