Provided by site.

Saturday, January 7, 2012


Most people would not take a vacation in January. But as you probably know by now, I ain't most people! What kind of people am I? Shucky dern I don't know! Perhaps I fit into a new category! Sometimes I'm cranky! What in tarnation does cranky mean? I've heard people say "my car won't crank!" What the hell is that? I know what that means! I just want to play with you and have some fun! Give up? Okay! Okay! Okay! I'll tell you! All older people as in older than me and my good buddy over there at How Dare I. This goes back to our grandparents time in the early 1900's. That's quite a spell ago. I'll give you a hint, Henry Ford. You never heard of Henry Ford! Aw come on you got to be pulling my leg! Have you heard of the model T! There was a crank in front of the automobile. A metal object you used your manly power and pulled on this sucker. You actually had to crank, as in turn to fire the engine up! I'm not kidding! Haven't you ever watched old black and white movies and seen this happen! They used to do the airplanes this way also. No! No! No! Not with a crank! Some brave soul or you might call them stupid, would grab a hold of them old time wooden propellers and with all their strength pull down quickly, cranking the engine. I bet there has been many injuries while starting them damn airplanes.

Back to, sometimes I'm cranky. Damn tootin-dad-gum it! Who the hell wants to get out of a nice warm bed with nice dreams, especially in freezing weather to scrape ice off your windshield and sit your ass on vinyl seats! Oopsey y'all in warm weather states have not had a thrill until you get in your automobile when it's 10 below zero. You thought it was cold before! As you put your right cheek on the vinyl it immediately freezes! I wouldn't lie to you! So you have one frozen buttock and one toasty buttock soon to have two frozen ass cubes! (hahaha I'm just getting warmed up, that deserve another hahaha!) Some time ago these automobile manufacturers changed to cloth interior and them fancy cars have heated seats, damn wouldn't I loove to have one of them automobiles with heated seats in cold weather woo-wee! Damn I know I got sidetracked! It could be much worse! Like listening to Politicians!

Shit I got to writing about frozen buttocks and forgot what I started talking about a while back so excuuse me!!! We old farts once we get started forget what we were talking about. I must go back and read what I wrote so I can recap or today's lingo is "reboot". (I'm visualizing a #12 boot breaking the ice on someones cold buttocks.) Hang in there while I regain my senses, then again that may never happen! Crank is turning a cold engine over, too start it. Yep!Yep!Yep! I understand that but seems like cranky means something else. Oh! Oh! Oh! maybe it's one of them drugs to @#$k your brain up like crack! Have you ever seen the shit that goes into that methamphetamine? You take enough of that stuff and your brain won't never, turn over again! (See how my brain gets sidetracked!)

I've heard my grandpa say "my boss was in a cranky mood today." I though to myself must have vinyl seats, nope can't be that it's July! Then I heard him say to grandma "my your in a cranky mood today!" Then I understood what that version meant. Grandma had been hollering at him while I was visiting them. Cranky means upset, mad, not in a good mood. I'll just bet you don't hear words like that anymore unless your my age.  Thanks you for visiting, hope you enjoyed my rambling! Glen


1 comment:

  1. Hahaha!! Yes, I always enjoy your rambling. Coffee would not taste as good without it. It's funny how language changes through the years. Come to think of it, I don't hear that word "cranky" too much anymore. Now that there is no restriction on what kind of words people use, most people would say "bitchy" least when talking about a woman being cranky. I loved your description of the frozen buttocks. Here where I live we don't have that problem, but try sitting on a vinyl seat in the middle of summer and you will have scorched buttocks. Great post again Glen. My day is complete now *smiles*