I haven't the foggiest idea of what I wish to write, but that's never stopped me before, so let's see what pops up and says "I'm ready!" (U-know like one of them Thanksgiving turkey popper upper thing-a-ma-doodle turkey sensors, for the ones who can't read directions to cook, so many minutes per pound or they can't stick a thermometer in it and read the proper temperature, sheesh! Big ninnies!!!)
Damn oh DAMN! Ah! Oh! Hang on to your undies big time! Man am I, feel Looney tonight!
(I Interrupt this un-important message for another more serious, although, also un-important message to y'all around the world but is important to me!) [Did I write what I think I wrota? I'm not going to revisit that last sentence. You may be the Judge and strike that from the record OR? Think to yourself that's one crazy ass !@#$er!-I-prefer-the-latter!-Damn-how-did-I-get-this-to-change-colors???]
Here in the Heartland we have not had any nasty weather yet, as in snow or the dreaded ice storm. We had a cold snap for a few days last week. Tuesday morning we had a thunderstorm, yep I wouldn't kid you! Right now its 2 AM Saturday, we're having the DREADED ice storm! Wow-za Momma Jan be plum pissed off, BIG TIME!
(Now I return you to your regular scheduled DUM-ASS!)
P-o-l-l-u-t-e-r-t-i-c-i-a-n-s, still Polluting! Yes sir! Cold in Alaska! Warm in the Florida Keys! Well some things stay the same!
I've not unloaded anymore alien truck drivers. Since I mentioned aliens, I see what looks to me like, people who are aliens, compared to the people who I remember growing up with in my small town in the Midwest. Example, I work the night shift and try to stay away from them big box retailing stores! U-know the biggest one in particular. (Especially during the day time.) Good God almighty! Have you ever waited outside for your spouse and watched the aliens go into that store, OR, are they producing them some where's in the back, OR, are they beaming them down from the relay station on the dark side of de (Yep meant to!) moon? Have you ever looked at someone, I MEAN REALLY LOOKED AT SOMEONE! Then told yourself, "de ain't, from around here!" I'mma not talking a freak of nature kinda thing here! I'MMA talking, maybe a reptilian from planet Crocadonia way! Way on the other side of that big ass black hole, them there cosmopolitans, (nope that's not right) them there cosmetologists, (nope not right either) cosmologists, yep! I believe that be the word I'mma looking for! Them smart ones who study the universe. Whoosh! I used up all me brain cells on that one! Now where was I before I got sidetracked! I believe that's where all these illegal aliens, and these REALLY, ILLEGAL ALIENS are coming from! U-know there was no talk of aliens of any kind in my community. Until! We went to de moon! Then, them aliens sprung up, EVERY WHERE'S! Shit! When I was sixteen I didn't know what alien meant! Then we went to de moon. Before you know it we go from Star Trek on T. V. to Steven Spielberg to aliens every where's! Somebody--- done opened the flood gates and we have more aliens in every town in the United States "than you can shake a stick at" that's what my grandma would of said, and I LIKE IT!!! My grandma was always right!
U-know, now that I actually ponder this here situation a mite! I have reached a monumental light bulb over my head conclusion! When small town Americana was in its hey day, as in Main Street before the outward sprawl of the suburbs began, there were no Megalith Malls, no Big Box retail stores, no Fast Food chain stores on every corner, no Convenient stores. (What the hell is this c-o-n-v-e-n-i-e-n-t shit all about? There ain't nothing convenient about them! The only !@#$ing thing they made convenient is diabetes and obesity!) [You see how I get sidetracked, lord have mercy! It ain't easy being me! I don't have to try too hard! If you understand that last sentence, howdy! brothers and sisters welcome to my world!!!]
Back to my earlier diagnosis of suburban sprawl and aliens and such foolery! (I lovva that word foolery!) Yep! I believe I'm right! We have to have jobs for these aliens. Don't you see! All these new chain stores have give jobs to the aliens being created like bunny rabbits popping up from outer space and inside them BIG BOX stores! Yep! That be the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help old Glen and you heard it here first on GLEN VIEW, where our motto is we have space for you, a padded cell!!! AH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!!! Damn! Am I nuts or what! I thought I was off the air! Don't print that! Goodnight my friends!