I... Interview... Me!

GLENVIEW APPROACHES 500 POSTS, WHO WOULD EVER, A THUNK IT?

ATTENTION, PLEASE KEEP IN MIND AT ALL TIMES, I AM ME! NO TELLING WHERE THIS IS GOING TO GO, AS I ALWAYS FLY BY THE SEAT OF MY PANTS!

INTERVIEWER, "Mr Glen View, please describe to your faithful fellow bloggers how it feels to be approaching such a milestone."

GLEN, "Have mercy, I cannot believe, my wittle brain had so many words in it, where these posts come from I don't know! I have thought much about where so much silliness could come from. I reckon meandering lost spirits are paying me nightly visits OR them lost souls that an old fart like me works with, penetrates my psyche or psycho brain. Sometimes, I close my eyes at the end of the day, take a few deep breaths and shit happens!"

INTERVIEWER, "So your saying to the world, you plan nothing?"

GLEN, "Nope, silliness can't be planned it just happens, it's un-or-che-strate-able, it be so natural, for me! Must be in my genes, or jeans. That particular phrase, always has confused me! Of course, don't take much to confuse me. Genes and jeans sounds, pert near the same to me. You must remember, I began life confused. I've always been somewhat off in the hearing department, or one of my senses, has always been challenged. It used to be "called hard of hearing" or "partially deaf." I reckon the current modern lingo is "somewhat challenged." This challenged word is thrown around so much today, most days I feel totally and completely retardo challenged! When I was young we used simpler more down to earth names like deaf, dumb or blind, or I like to visualize the little statue of the three monkeys, hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil. Ain't that just the cutest little thing you've ever seen, every time I see them three monkeys I smile. So I may be a mite slack in one of the three senses, I still get 'er done!"

INTERVIEWER, "You do know, we have more than three senses, Glen!"

GLEN, "What most people I come into contact with on my daily escapades in lunaticism, ainna got one lick o sense! How many senses do we have?"

INTERVIEWER "I'm asking the questions not you!"

GLEN "Sounds to me like you don't know!"

INTERVIEWER "This question and answer session is all about you and your most uncanny ability in the writing of silliness, these are our senses, sight, hearing, smell. taste, touch."

GLEN, "What about having sex, isn't that a sense?"

INTERVIEWER, [ thinking to self ] (Damn what am I interviewing a moron?) "That would fall under touch!"

GLEN, "I do a lot more than that! My old heart get's to pounding and my"

INTERVIEWER CUTS GLEN OFF RIGHT THERE SAYING, "That's quite enough, we'll stop right there and move on!" [ thinking ] (Crazy &@#$er!)

INTERVIEWER, "There is what is referred to as a sixth sense, like premonition."

GLEN, "I've heard the saying "they don't have a lick o sense," what sense are they talking about?"

INTERVIEWER, "No, no, no! That's not even a sense! They be meaning that person has no common sense!"

GLEN, "Then there is more than five senses!"

INTERVIEWER, "I can see I'm getting no where talking to a !@#$%^&*() lame brain silly ass challenged, deaf, dumb, and blind !@#$%^&*( NEVER MIND!!!"