I was not quite done with my story about the speaker the other night, that was only part of it. I had to stop because I was too sleepy to carry on. Actually, I was done with the speaker destruction part! Something else come about as I was crunching on me peanuts and drinking sodie-pop. Since the diesel pumps are the farthest away from the store and 4:30 in the AM, tain't many people out and about. This here morning be exceptionally busy fer the time.
(Howsa about that last sentence! I got me a big o'l word like exceptionally and some of my favorite country words, such as fer, in the same sentence, am I a learnin ur what?)
((Ur what, sounds more appropriate!)) "PLEASE DON'T WORRY, OR GET UPSET! I TALK TO ME, ALL THE TIME! THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWIXT YOU AND ME, IS I'M CRAZY ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY WRITE THAT I AM!"
A much newer than mine, Ford Ranger 4X4, extended cab with grey paint pulled in . Um, um, um, just lik-a I would love to have. It were prettier than my old dog Punkster, when she were a pup!!! On the other side of the same pump as the Ranger pulls in a newer black Ford Mustang. My heart brgins to flutter, I be sitting in the lot of a Convenient Store in the early morn, munching with my false choppers on honey roasted peanuts, drinking a diet pop, and watching a car show. (Correcto, I have my REAL choppers, I just preferred the way false choppers sounded, I reckon that must be writing stuff... you know!)
Well I'm watching the Ford Channel, sponsored by Speedway Convenience Stores, live ya see! Ya get it don't ya!!! Please say you do, just to humor an old man... okey... dokey!!!
I was thinking, "This is the best damn commercial, I... ever... did... see... in all my born days." (When I get to going, feeling silly, this vernacular... (WHAT???) I lurned, frum all the wise ones, I happened to be around, as a young-in, comes, creeping, crawling, from craters, deep, with in, my cranium!) I'm not... about to reread what I just wrote, whilst I be practicing my writing! I just.. let'er flow... BABY!
Maybe, I'll refresh y'all, in case any newbys, ( I hope so!) be out there. This Automatic Writing thing, where SUPPOSEDLY... "spirits" write through you. Have you heard about this? If that be the case, I only get the retarded spirits, or as they refer to them today, challenged! Yep, I agree, 100%. I reckon my ancestors be trying to write through me, and they never knew how to write to start with, SO... I reckon that it be all up to me, you see! Ain't that a hoot!
Now we have the Ranger, which is a small pickup truck, and we have the Mustang, which is a really hot car. I be munching while watching the CV channel. This monstrosity of a monster rolls in, like it just come from the monster truck show at the fairgrounds, where all them rednecks be drinking beer, eating hot dogs and gassing themselves into higher orbit!!!!!! (I'm truly sorry I had to describe it that way, I had to paint this scene!) There sits that cute little Ranger and that behemoth of a madd monster from hell, looking as if he's gonna consume that cute itty bitty truck. My munching isout of control, as I watch excitedly, missing my mouth and almost choking on my big gulp! Was I nervous, agitated? Hell yes! I thought that big red monster Dodge Hemi Truck was going to run over squishing, then consume my pretty baby truck!!! I was so out of control I did not see who or what got out of that Monster Truck!
Can't you just imagine all this excitement going on at 4:30 in the mornin! I zero in on the door to the store, while waiting, I fix one eye on that truck. Mercy sakes alive, some redneck done spent more money on raising that devil up as high, as my work truck! I figuring, he may, get 2 convenient stores to the mile, as in POOR fricking gas mileage!!! This skinny little feller about the size as my right leg, and not higher than that walks towards that Dodge Ram Hemi Monster Truck. I watch as that little monkey shimmys up the side of that thing, like Spiderman. I was so intrigued in witnessing what kind o person would drive such a THING, I plum lost sight of my pretty little puppy Ranger. Good thing I didn't see that Ranger leave, but I'm right's sure its tail, or tail gate rather, was tucked up underneath its hind quarters! Shoot wouldn't yours???
Well sir, after that Monkey Man climbed up in his truck, slowly strutting away, like King Kong, down Broadway! I look down, I had peanuts all over me belly! In all the excitement I had made a mess. I come to partial senses, cleaned up myself, and my International Truck. What a sad looking sight my new white common truck seems! Then I totally returned to my real, as in silly senses. I talked to Mr. In T. National and said, don't worry feller, we're one and the same, we be plain, it be WE, the PLAIN JANES, that carry this here old world, ANYHOW!!! HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO ONE AND ALL, EXCEPTIN FER THE TURKEYS, BUT DAMN AIN'T THEY GOOOD!!!!! Glen View