Provided by site.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

A Speaker.. A Pen... and Peanuts!!!

It's late and I just worked 4 hours over time, but if I don't touch upon the moment I had a couple hours ago, it will be lost forever, and this is why, I write! I had to make some extra deliveries in my work truck and stopped around 4:30 AM for fuel and peanuts, for me belly. I was getting out of my truck headed for the fuel pump and I sneezed, no big deal right! I always get diesel fuel at the same Convenience Store and the same pump, habit I reckon! You-sa, Know-sa, how-sa, I hate... the !@#$ing-music coming from that little speaker at the pump. It plum fucking rattles me! (Ah-oh I getting down to the nitty gritty tonight!) That sneeze must-a opened a new line on my bad hearing, because it sounded like someone turned the volume on that stupid !@#$ing-speaker up! Yep! I know! I HATE that stupid music, whilst I be trying communication between my brain, eyes and hand! (I have to remember my mileage, I have to remember the work truck pin number, I have to CONCENTRATE, after driving for a few hours. I's, have grown QUITE found, of my peace and QUIET! (( Well lookee there, I used the words quite, and quiet, in the same sentence, they have the same letters, man, oh, man, I be hot tonight! I best put the fire extinguisher close by! ))
I don't listen to the radio anymore! O'l Glen zooms, into his zone, out there in the early AM, and-a, o'l Glen likes it when he be in his ZONE!!!) (((Damn I think I may have blown a fuse, I had a thought within a thought, and now another thought, have mercy... I best be getting back to the little speaker on the fuel pump!

Okay! Okay! Okay! Where was I? Any how! That fricking little speaker on the pump be louder than usual after I sneezed. I was having trouble focusing, thinking, coordinating me signals! It ain't funny sometimes thinking, seeing, hearing + I got-sa push them numbers on the screen, and all that you see. The first time I keyed in the mileage, that-!@#$ing-computer-pump-thing-a-ma-jig-gee knowed, some how I fucked up, so that smart machine gives me another shot! (The computer machine at the pump was probably thinking to itself, "these old people today, can't do anything right!") SO.. it gives me another chance and I pass! That speaker be bugging the !@#$-out-of-me!!! I took my credit card and tried to get back at that speaker, nope, it plays on! Then I took my ink pen, I was going to poke that little loud ass speaker to death! I come to my senses! THEN, a song comes on the little speaker from hell, or should I say Mexico! I flipped out! It be baad enough, playing badd music over a speaker the size of a quarter, BUT... Spanish music in the heart of the Heartland, come on now, I was pushed over the brink!! Yes I was! I grabbed my ink pen and poked that tiny ass speaker to death! Yes... I did! LORD HAVE MERCY!!! THE DEVIL COME INTO ME BODY, AND FOR ABOUT 10 GOOD JABS I... WAS NOT... ME!!! I taught that itty bitty speaker to become louder on o'l Glen! U-KNOW a man can only take, soo much!!! These !@#$ing-Quasimoto-speakers!!!

The diesel pump is the farthest away from the store, so after killing one speaker, I have to walk past many others mocking me, volume raising! WHY? I wanted some peanuts. (Like-a, I ain't already, nutty enough!)
I ran the gauntlet, between the speaker pumps from hell, I made it inside. Oh shit! Now I must get back to my truck! Their waiting for me to walk out that door and all them squeaky, squawky, squealy, speakers are going to get me! So what is a big o'l truck driver gonna do that has just put one !@#$ing-little-gas-pump-speakers-ot-of-millions-gonna-do? I felt brave with a bag o peanuts and a soda! "I ain't fraid no speakers!" I stopped outside of the door, had me a second of brillance! Yes I did! I filled my mouth with noisy peanuts to crunch, so I would not hear them speakers, calling me names. Well now, I ran to me truck! Well as fast as an old man with a bad back, and knee could limp! It worked! I jump in me truck, feeling all snugly safe.

There's maybe a moral or something here I don't know! I still hate them little speakers!        

1 comment:

  1. I read this earlier today and I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to pass out. I wish I had been there to see you poking that speaker to death !! I can only imagine :-) Thanks for another big laugh. You always make my day Glen.