My stupor continues! Yep this old boy been baptized! I feel... I say I feel... I FEEEL GOOD TODAY! Brothers and Sisters... somethun has come over me! I have been sent to purgatory and cast out! My mind be clearer than all the bells chiming in perfect harmony from all of the churches across this world ringing on the twelfth hour!!! How can this be? I DO NOT KNOW! I sure ainna gonna dilly-dally and try to figure it out! I'm gonna go with the flow! What if I've hit upon the perfect ingredients, taken at the exact proportions to stimulate good mood altering effects? I don't question the side effects! I'll take them! The effects of a couple weeks ago are still vividly livid in my body, mind and soul! I was knocking on me casket lid! Yes... I was! YOU THINK I BE OVERKILLING, MY CONDITION! That be yer right to think that way! I be an old man with afflictions of which I live with on a daily basis! Taint no problem I wear them as badges of honor! Sheesh, I ain't even mentioned my mental afflictions, too many... I say "TOO MANY" to list! Some I was born with and some I picked up, like a magnet to metal! MOST! YEP! MOST come from working for a living, being around people from A to Z! ASSHOLES TO ZOMBIES! If I dare! IF I DARE to go to the Doctor, I see sick, I say SICK people!!! When I see sick people I get sickerrr! I get germaphobic! By the time I get out of the Doctor's office, I feel like I need to go to the hospital!!! Have you been a patient in the hospital? I am definitely... NOT PATIENT! My patience was used up 20 lifetimes ago!
If ya ain't almost dead when you go to the hospital, you have a good chance of never leaving! You know how many GERMS are in a hospital? More than the national deficit! They be a waiting on some poor sucker like me... to come through them shiny gates, with the antiseptic clean, Clorox smell! Shit... them modern germs, beat through that Clorox 40 years ago!
Unless ye be dead and waiting for the Mortuary wagon, ye best have plenty o patience. If yer so sick you have to be a patient at the hospital, close your eyes, tune out your hearing, don't do no thinkin! Ask for the knock me out plan!
I continue to be ever so mellow at work and home. "What's the deal?" I ask myself. Could it be? That finally I've learned patience? Nah! It has to be something else! Somehow... for some reason... I feel at peace! I do not say that lightly, mind ya!!!
The normal day to day difficulties, such as work shit, does not affect me! Have I grown up? Have I FINALLY learned... to not "give a rat's ass?? interesting quandary to say the least! I'll take it gladly and hope for more! I want this to continue... till the end of my time!
WE CANNOT CONTROL THE EVERY DAY POLLUTION THAT RAISE OUR BLOOD PRESSURE OR FLAT JUST GNAWS AWAY AT US!
WE CAN CONTROL HOW IT AFFECTS US! I HAVE HEARD THOSE SIMPLE WORDS OF WISDOM ALL MY LIFE!
MY REASONING TO SUCH SIMPLE LOGIC, "I NEED A SEDATIVE TO CALM ME DOWN INTERNALLY SO PROBLEMS SLIDE AWAY, LIKE WATER OFF A DUCK, OR QUIT GIVING A FUCK!"
WELL I DO NOT KNOW WHAT HAS TRANSPIRED TO MAKE ME HAVE THE INNER COMFORT I KNOW HAVE. I TRULY DO KNOW, I HAVE SEARCHED A LIFETIME TO FIND IT!!! TO LIVE THE REMAINDER OF MY LIFE, BE IT A DAY, A WEEK, A MONTH, A YEAR OR PERHAPS TO THE AVERAGE LIFE EXPECTANCY, WOULD BE A LIFE, I MOST CERTAINLY WOULD LOVE TO CONTINUE LIVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GLEN