LYING, WITCHCRAFT AND THE DOCTOR

Me, and my Doc have been battling for years over differences of opinions. I would like to take you back in time 25 years. There is a new Doc in town and I became a patient. Simple routine ailments for many years, I had a stressful job that only produced stress and I put a lot of it on myself. Naturally high blood pressure is the result and viola’, meds are started. One pill leads to others and over many years weight gain. You see the side effect of all meds is weight gain!!! So over many years I put on several pounds, with each new ailment, more meds + WEIGHT.

                Mr. Docman’s answer to every new ailment is I must lose weight. So when I was younger I simply could cut out a few soft drinks and bread, exercise more and the weight would melt away. Many times in my life I have lost weight. The older I became the harder it was to lose. The meds I take slowed my metabolism. I can’t work as long or as hard and I never seem to get my second wind, like I use to when I used to jog. I would feel as though I couldn’t jog any farther, suddenly my breathing would become stronger and I could fly again. Time and meds had taken a toll on my body.

                Still, Mr. Docman would say eat less and move more, that’s “all” you have to do to lose weight. You go see him for the flu; lose weight, I injured my knee; lose weight. I was having anxiety problems, more pills; lose weight. Every problem is my weight per Docman while I was eating half of what I once ate, no @#$&ing weight loss!!! I could no longer do the hobbies I once enjoyed because I no longer possessed the energy. Once I could work all day, come home play with my hobbies or work in my garden or yard till dark and never run out of energy! After many years of doing Meds, my weight increased and energy level went south!! I could no longer do the things I once loved.

                Life has worn me down, mentally and physically + I had gained a lot of weight. I was forced to begin life anew as in finding a less stressful job; however I was mentally whipped and physically fat from the @#&*ing Meds. Docman’s answer to “everything” is weight! I’d had enough! So I explained to Mr. PHD Medical School Doctor Man. If you would take the time to review my records and listen to me you would see I was one of your first patients before you got such a busy practice that you don’t need my insurance anymore. All you need to do is to listen “to me,” the side effect of all these here meds you prescribe for me is weight gain! Why did you prescribe all these to me? Back then I weighed one hell of a lot less. I wish you would look at the records and listen to what I am trying to discuss with you, but you won’t listen! Before I left him I said “I wish you would have to bear the side effects of all the meds, and if I were “A Witch Doctor” I would put a curse on you so you would have to do that!!!” Well that got his goat, he looks at me shook his head and laughed at me like I was a @#$*ing moron!

                That night before drifting off to sleep, I put a curse on Mr. Docman, I also had a dream and in my dream I was a Witch Doctor and put a curse on him. I remembered the dream the next day and laughed at what I did! I normally go every six months to Mr. Docman for blood work and such. Well to my surprise the next visit Mr. Docman had put on a few pounds. In the twenty years I have known him he had kept his 18 year old body, but know he had a belly and his face was a little pudgy. I could not help but laugh as I tell him “I have lost a few pounds, it looks like you have been eating good though!” I’m thinking maybe my little curse worked, he looked at me with attitude. I know beyond a doubt he heard me! I left purring like the cat that had just ate the big ass canary. I gave him a dose of his own doctoring and it suure felt goood!!!

 As we grow older our bodies change and it’s not ever for the good. Injuries, stress countless things figure into the equation let alone going from no meds to several meds and so on and so forth.

                I go back to my Doctor in again in six months, so it has been a year now since I laughingly put a curse on Mr. Docman. Well Mr. Docman was all ears and just as nice as he could be. I had lost some more weight and he had put on about 40 pounds in the last year. He was talking to me like we were old friends and in no hurry at all. The PHD Doctor man wanted to talk now about all the things he didn’t want to hear about before from me. My opinions about pain, medicine, weight gain. He had reviewed my records and admitted that with each new medicine there was substantial weight gain. He tells me how his knees hurt and his back hurts and how he keeps getting aches and pains in strange places and how he cannot jog like he used to and how apparently his metabolism has changed. It has to be age, he tells me! Well needless to say I’m a-listening and grinning ear to ear with a devilish I told you so attitude of my very own!!! He proceeds to say “By the way, is there anything to that curse you put on me about a year ago, because if there is I have received the message loud and clear!!!” I have insight into the human body never thought possible. Mr. Docman was humbled and I apologized for saying a year ago that I would put a spell on him.

 Me, and the Doc are on good terms now. Do you reckon he got the message loud and clear or was it the spell I put on him. ANYHOW I don’t give a darn as long as he treats me like a patient.

WE LIVE IN A HURRY UP, WANT EVERYTHING NOW WORLD! THE DOC’S OF YESTERYEAR PRESCRIBED AMPHETAMINES FOR EVERYTHING. LOOK HOW BAD THAT IS FOR YOUR BODY. HELL NO YOU DIDN’T GAIN WEIGHT WITH THAT! HITLER HANDED THAT OUT AS CANDY TO HIS SOLDIERS DURING WORLD WAR ll. I LOOKED THROUGH A 1900’S CATALOGUE ADVERTISING COCAINE MAIL ORDER WITH SYRINGES.

GIVE ME A BREAK IT’S ALL ABOUT PUSHING LEGALIZED DRUGS AND SEEMINGLY CURES FOR EVERTHING IF YOU BELIEVE THE PHARMAS. THANKS FOR VISITING MY HUMBLE LITTLE SITE, I BID YOU ADIEU.