I think of so many things in the course of a day that I could type, then reality shuts it down. The thought and emotion it gives me is there and gone quickly. I'm fascinated by the emotion more than the topic of thought. It happens more at work, I suppose my mind gets bored of the humdrum same o, same o. A few times, well probably a lot more than a few times, who's to know huh? I do that "scream of consciousness" stuff, I mean that "stream of consciousness" writing stuff and a flash as well as the emotion comes back, a reminder from before. That does make sense, at least to me. At the keyboard late at night before I retire, my mind is as relaxed as it will ever be while awake. I have done what I do so much at work maybe my mind is either bored or in the same place.
I DON'T MEAN TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT BUT ONE OF THEM FLASHES I GET, JUST FLASHED. SHOULD I TELL YOU WHERE I WORK, WELL NOT EXACTLY WHERE I WORK, BUT THE TYPE OF BUSINESS I'M ACTUALLY IN. I'VE BEEN WANTING TO FOR QUITE A SPELL, BUT THE TIMING DID NOT SEEM RIGHT, FOR SOME REASON IT DOES NOW! THAT IN ITSELF INTRIGUES ME AS I PONDER ON THAT!
Those unorganized random thoughts that happen could be good or bad. Today I accept them as good.
In times of chaotic darkness that once ruled over me, it was bad, very bad! My mind would twirl too fast, therefore my emotions got out of control. I could not get off the un merry go round.
Now I do believe these flashes of thoughts are necessary to keep me, somewhat balanced. What I now have in my life is a way of releasing the baggage of a lifetime of inner turmoil, created from the reality of life.
"What pray tell is that?"
What you're reading at this moment, allows an old man to understand by putting it in this format. A daily diary so to speak, put out through the satellites straight to your little screen. What a shame it has taken well over a half century.
I believe my dreams play an important part of what I'm saying. The emotions experienced in my dreams are overwhelming. For I tend to believe, the emotions in my daydream flashes, along with dreams, and bringing to you in my daily diary is better than a million dollars of psycho babble.
Humm . . . I reckon there might be something in this "Stream of Consciousness!"