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Monday, March 31, 2014

ALL THIS, FOR A CHUCKLE . . .

It's 2300 hours, military time. Why I placed the time that way? WHO KNOWS! mEmBeR nOw, you are on G-L-E-N-V-I-E-W, that there shoulda, explain, EVERYTHANG!!!

I SEE'S ALREADY, I BE IN A FINE MOOD, THIS MIGHTY FINE SUNDAY EVENIN'.

When I was a young-in, Sunday was the day of doing absolutely nothin' exceptin going to church and going to grandma's for fried chicken and all the fixin's. Yes sir little Glenny's belly would be ripe to burst. Ya reckon that was the start of me belly balloon! Yep, I reckon so!

You know I love reminiscing about "the good old days!" Truth known there's a lot O baggage still carryin' around from them "good old days!" Certainly we know the good and the bad. The bad is probably worse than we remember, the good is not as good!

Certainly the modern times are also good and bad. We tend to remember today's bad times more because they just happened! We're much older and have the mindset that comes with? Getting older! Man I be hitting on all cylinders tonight! Amen!

Right at this moment my body aches are at the minimum that they're gonna be, why? I been a restin' fer two days, that's why! Ain't done nothin'! Sure feel good sometimes, just to rest, don't it now? You old uns understand what I'm sayin'!

I feel good baby! I'm a mighty mouse, yes I am! I'm ready to be a test subject for antique ones, to see if them new meds can rejuvenate me, um, huh! Rejuvenate my arse! Maybe pick my pockets clean promising the fountain of youth!

There be so gosh darn many Pharmaceutical commercials that promise cures fer everything!!!

I think to myself' "self, why are there so many fat, diseased, ugly, unhappy people? I see it everywhere I go!"

I ask the young man at McD's  "Son are you happy?"

He said "yep . .  you old fart, I love my job!" I'm pretty sure he was being, what is that word, sarcastic!

I ask a man with a sign saying, out of work help me. I say "are you happy sir?"

"I'd be much happier if you would hand me a twenty!" Says the man.

I only had a ten on me, but I wanted the man to be happy you see! I tell the man, "don't you go
anywhere now, I'm going over the A.T.M. I want to see a smile on your face." I got forty dollars and handed him a twenty. I ask for my ten back, he said "are you fuckin' nuts?"

He laughed, man, did he ever laugh! It felt so good to see this man laugh so hard, I felt so good at makin' his day!

I look in my rear view mirror as I drive away, he's still laughing! I started laughing at how happy I made that unhappy soul!

I need a tire on my Mountaineer fixed, I drive over to Wally's World. I say to the attendant "can you help me out? I need a tire repaired."

"Sure can, that'll be 'bout two hours!"

"But, but, but, I'm the only customer here!"

"Don't matter, it'll be two hours, say anymore and it'll be three hours!"

I ask him, "do you love your job?"

"At this present moment I do!" He said grinning!

He wasn't being sarcastic, but I give him some control to his most likely troubled day. It was worth it. I'll mosey about the store and take stuff off shelves and help the night shift with their stocking to kill  time and that'll make me happy!

After 'bout an hour I was bored so I go back to the auto care department.

The attendant said, "sir your car is done."

"You told me it would take longer." quizzing him.

There was a call from the manager tellin' "me that the crazy old fart waiting for service was restocking shelves for us and we need to get him outta here!"

"You mean there are little people up in them round mirrors actually watchin?" I ask.

I laughed, he laughed, we're one a laughing, for a moment!

The very next morning my tire that was supposed to be repaired was flat! Imagine that!





1 comment:

  1. Oh I laughed too when I read this!!! Hmmm what did they do? Just fill it with air and not even repair it? I guess they figured the joke was on you :-)

    Oh I wrote a poem, it was the best I could do for ya on short notice hahaha !

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