Two weeks ago at this time snow was gently falling, with visions of Santa Claus dancing in my head.
( I'm an old man of 8 years old, sometimes. I love that feeling! )
Right now, it's 60 degrees, a warm gentle rain is falling. I left work an hour early, ya see, I work so hard, I done 8 hours work of work in 7!
"I love ya, yeah . . . yeah . . . yeah"!!!
Never mind flashback, I do reckon! I do like it when my mind throws a curve!
( This really is me PEOPLE!!! )
I kid . . . you not! You know why I love it? Ah! come on, you know. I be feeling good, mentally and physically!!! I walk outta the the bloody gates of hell-dumb, where a warm breeze slices thru me like the latest Ginseng knife, Christmas commercial. I let the hood down on my sweatshirt while removing my spectacles. It was a little hot and humid inside, so walking away from hell-dumb, thru them pearly gates, was . . . wonderful. A few steps into freedom, where . . . for . . . thou . . . are . . . not, no, dumb asses!
I take a gander up to the heavens , letting them tiny pearl drops of freedom, massage deep into an old man's soul!!!
I was, real sick, tonight, I was in the work-ity-ass-mood, I've been in for many, a moons!
"How so?"
Thanks my friends for asking this old, lame brained, one eyed, one good ear, with arthritis of the body, but, not the soul! Hell! I might just testify this morning. That's how good, I's a feeling!
Back to them tiny drops of wonderfulness, massaging my face, plum through to my soul. For a moment, I didn't think of nothing. Refreshing, moisture, rejuvenateth me. I was once again, 8 years old, sitting in a chair at grandpa's house, staring at the Santa Claus face, hanging on the front door. Santa faces inside, and lights up, one of those old-fashion Coca-Cola Santa's. The feeling of contentment, love, happiness, refurbisheth, my soul. That's the same feeling as the tiny golden droplets, soothing an old tired man's face, filling my heart with happiness.
(I know-sa, there ainna no such word as refurbisheth! Damn it! yer on GLENVIEW! )
NOW I ASK YOU, MY FRIENDS . . . WHAT? I SAY, WHAT? COULD BE BETTER THAN THIS? NOTHING!
Oh! Oh! Oh! I have a vision of reindeers, stopping at Taco Bell, filleth, my growling belly, and happy heart. I walk slowly . . . . . to my mountaineer, ( that be my S. U. V. ) walking thru the magical mystery rain, as I, a fixin' to goeth to Santa's favorite, late night, snacking place.
( Why now . . . do you reckon . . . Santa's so jolly, and fat? ) Yep! Old Santa's, a snacking machine!
Santa needs, new windshield wipers on his sleigh, but Santa forgets about it, until it raineths, nobody is allowed to drive Santa's sleigh, but you know who!
That reminds ol' Santa, oh dear! Santa's big ass sleigh, needeth, an oil change, OR, them 8 reindeers ( cylinders ) will quit workin'.
"On Prancer, on Dancer, to Taco Bell we go, ah, ha, ha, ha!"
Ah oh! Santa must stop at the ATM, even Santa doesn't get free tacos!
But first, Santa must make a convenient stop, at a convenient store, for a sugary half-gallon soft drink, with shaved ice. Umm, umm, good, Santa loveth, that shaved ice, reminds him of snow cones, ya see! When you get down real low, that shaved ice is . . .GOOD!!!
Santa gets his drink and a can of Jolt for each reindeer, two for Rudolph, gotta keep his big ass red nose shining bright!
Santa thinks . . . "OOPSEY! I be out of wrapping paper for . . . MEVER MIND"!!!
While waiting in line, vision of a joint, dancing in Santa's head, Santa sees a most unusual sight, two men, one about 5 feet 5, the other about 6 feet 6, doing the happiness, Sanata dance.
( When Santa thinks about rolling one, he becometh, Sanata Cause!!! )
These two uneven hombres, were doing, the slumbering Sanata Cause dance. You know, one of them walk, stop, while slinging the arms, stops, starts again! Man oh man! Sanata didn't think they'd ever get out the door! Sanata thought about buying some of that spice, he has been hearing so much about. Maybe after the Taco's
Soft Taco's Supremes, a sugary drink, and a vision of . . . never mind, dance in Sanata's head.
"On, you mangy reindeers, let's discharge some of them lightning bolts in a can, you mule-faced donkeys!"
Sanata's demeanor changes slightly, after Taco's, sugary drinks, and never mind!
MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL . . . . SLEEP TIGHT, WITH VISIONS OF THEM PEARLY GATES, MADE OF GOLD, LONG BEAUTIFUL LEGS, AND FOR YOU WOMEN . . . . . . . . .
VISIONS OF WHAT LAYETH. UNDERNEATH, THEM JOE BOXWE SHORTS . . . A DINGING . . . AND A DONGING!!!!!!! (ah, ha, ha, ha! )
Good night my friends from around the globe, until we meet again. Santa Glen!
No comments:
Post a Comment