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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Buzzed Working!

I must say this first, "I HATE MONDAYS!"

"Why?" Y'all ask?

"Because it's MONDAY! What more do you need?"

Okay! I'll be more specific. What cometh before Monday?  ( Put your thinkin' caps on! )

Monday thru Friday,  ( Please use your imagination, if you're  not on the NORMAL, schedule. )  When you wake up, you look at the clock, yer thinkin  "drats! I got to go to work,"  10 minutes later you hid the snooze button, again . . . again . . . until . . . you must jump outta bed and rush, off to work! You start your day off, hurry, hurry, hurry! You get to work right at the time to clock in, proceed directly to work, work, work. You're not awake and you most assuredly ainna in the best of moods after rushing. So you put on, your happy face!  ( Yeah! Right! Anybody give me any shit, I'll drop them like a sack of taters! )

So you wake up on Saturday at your normal time. look at Mr. Clock think, "eww," then I say "THEN" you remember . . . iffin, yesterday was Friday . . . then, I say "THEN!"


After a couple days off, of, rest and relaxation,  ( Well, when you get older like me. You hope your aches and pains quiet down enough to handle another week. You think I'm kiddin' don't you? )  Monday rolls around quicker every year, you think, "I'll call in today!" For a brief second or two, "yeah, yeah, that's what I'll do!" Then you drag your arthritis stricken body, outta, bed, thinkin', "why me Lord, what have I done to deserve, you know!" A hot shower and a handful of  ibuprofen, will get me started, but still the relief doesn't come.

So . . . hi-ho, hi-ho, its off to work I go! Yeah right! You get to work without thinkin' go inside and start. You're not awake and if anyone says. "goood mornin'"  ( After awhile they learn to not say anything until "bout noon! ) 

This Monday was a real bad one. I couldn't get going, my body was creaking, my mind was foggy, more than normal! To add insults to Monday, I had the shites! I said to myself, "shite, I'll just go home!" I done some pondering, while I sat on my thinkin' stool! Lights began a flashing! "I've not had any sweets, no sugary drinks all day Sunday, me body's in shock, deprived of the necessary life force that keeps me going. As soon as I could get me breeches up, and me hands washed, I bee-lined it to the break room. There waiting for me was M and M's.  ( They're out of peanut ones, that's what I always eat, so I bought the regular and a 12 ounce can of my fav soda. )

I was a mite worried, I must drive the fork-lift, I ainna woke up, and me arthritis is a killin' me. Well I took the time to eat the M and M's, and gulp me soda. I got some sugar, choc-o-late AND 35 mg's of caffeine.  ( That's nothing compared to this lightning bolt energy drinks they consume now! I look on a can that a young man drinks, where's I work it has 140 mg's of caffeine. "Lord have mercy!" This youngin comes in drinking one and carrying one with him! Yep! I would not lie to you! ) 

After a few times pondering on my favorite stool, and partaking of break room wonder vitamins. I was-sa approaching take off! By this time it was break time. I hadn't done much work so far, besides thinkin', wipin', and force feeding me-self, tryin' to come to life. This is why I hate Mondays!!! I be rested up, relaxed, mind clear and at peace, and then before you know it, comes the time to . . . you know.

Apparently the ibuprofen were watered down, "they don't seem to be working!" So I had another light bulb above my head. "I'mma gonna hit me-self one more time in the break room." Just like an alcoholic, taking a shot of whiskey and chasing it with a beer. Yep! I did!

Well . . .  weren't long old man Glen were a workin' like a man of twenty once again. Wowza! I got plenty done the rest of the night and for awhile, I forgot about stiff joints and other shit!      

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