Seems my old wagon wheels are riding out of the ruts. I can most assuredly live with that! Ya see I can live right nicely without the highs and lows. I'll take a partially cloudy day over clear and sunny. Yes-sir-ree! It be them damn dark and rainy days that this old boy don't want nothing to do with, no more!
You might say, "that's not living!" I say, "is to me." I have seen and experienced enough of the good times. On the flip side, them lows are too much for me anymore! I want to ride out my remaining years relatively peaceful. If I'm peaceful, I'm happy! Them euphoric highs are too hard on my heart, just as them lowly lows are too much for my heart. I can write on me computer, or curl up with a good book such as my current one that I'm posting and be as close to heaven as this old boy will ever get!
Why not enjoy heaven here and now. That's the secret, enjoy the fine moments that go overlooked, every day. I know one thing for absolute certainty. "My biggest enemy has always been myself!" Sure enough! Ah, but how do we change who we are? We can never change who we are! We have made our-self, by simply being our-self. Now we must forgive our-self for being not what we want to be.
To make a home within our human mind. Remember this line from Popeye The Sailor Man. "I am what I am!"
To repeat that in Glen's words, "I is what I is!"
We can lose weight, gain weight, wear all kinds of clothing, try all the self-help, meditation, religions, take drugs, drink, the list is endless. We can never escape "who's we is!"
I'm going to use myself as an example. I had to fight to get a job that was promised to me the first week of November. During five months of patience, numerous conversations, misunderstandings, poor communication, etc. I start my job on April eighth. The excitement of accepting the job has been erased and permanent scars have been etched, both in mind and heart.
After a meeting with several superiors and me finalizing with handshakes did I finally clear up and get a job promised to me five months ago!
What was the emotions of a 61 year old man? Happiness no! Did not feel like high fives all around! Contentment no!
I went back to doing maintenance on a machine, after about fifteen minutes my eyes became red and I shed tears. I had to go to the bathroom to regain my composure. Seems the fact that closure to this problem caused tears to flow from an old man people might consider a hard ass. Took me by surprise but tears of closure are important.
I learn every moment of every day. I will until the last beautiful sunset of my life. We must have closure to turn the next, new page of our lives. I have been through many things, good and bad and devastating, just like all of you out there, I'm no different than you. To suffer, to laugh, to cry is human.
I'm not completely sure why I'm saying this. I reckon my release is what your reading right now. Maybe is meant to be! Sharing of emotions, stories, laughter, sadness, well just seems so right in this day of generic substitutions and hollow emotions and synthetic falsified world!!!! Goodnight my friends.