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Sunday, April 14, 2013

Signs (2)

Signs are fricking everywhere. That's why "nobody reads them!"

Come on now tell the truth, "do you?"

There's even on top of signs! (How the hell are we suppose to read the sign under the sign?) Sheesh!

I was at my local Supermarket and wanted some ground sirloin. There was price signs, so many as to draw my overly bombarded, discombobulated mind with, I could not find the buzzer to buzz for help.

Everywhere you look there are signs, prices, gimmicks drawing your attention!

I could not find the itty-bitty buzzer, approximately one half inch square to summon help. Yep, this old boy kid's ya not! There was signs smackdab in the middle of the fish, the, beef, the pork.

Now the funny thing about all this at least to Mr. Old Ass Glen here is? Beside the fresh meat counter was the deli with all the deli goodies. Man oh man that there fried chicken was being sold as fast as they could fry it up and scoop it out of the grease! There was three workers dishing out heart attack goodies. Nobody! I say! Nobody offered to hep (Yes I know I spelled help, as hep but, I am from country folk as this is GlenView, as in Glen's view, and sometimes I like to have some fun with y'all, okey-dokey!) this old boy who wanted some freshly ground sirloin.

I'm waiting, a hungry man with money to burn, already got me a tomato, some wheat hamburger buns, salt-free tater-chips and want me some freshly ground sirloin, ya see! Wouldn't be much of a burger without the freshly ground sirloin, now would it, huh? It would be a tomato, wheat bun, could put some salt-free tater chips on it I reckon! Dag-gone it that meatless burger ainna gonna satisfy this hungry old fart!

Ya see I be a willing to spend a tad more on me hamburgers to be sure I'm getting something like ground meat and not slop picked off of the floor, with ammonia splattered into it to kill the bacteria, bugs, who the fuck knows what? (Ah oh! I said a four letter word unintentionally! I must explain to my friends, my brothers and sisters, I have been a trying to tone down my use of factory language. It be hard after working in factories fer, damn! too fricking long!

                                            WARNING! WARNING! ALERT!

Ya see, me mind thinks of the word spelled with the proper spelling used appropriately in factory language. So me fingers did not react fast enough in my slip up earlier, when I actually used the proper spelling, so please forgive a @#$%ING old man okay?

DAMN! DAMN! DAMN! Y'all see how hard it is fer me to stay on one thing, causin one thing leads to another and I forgot what I was talking about! It ain't easy being me! I'm a natural alright! I let my mind take me to uncharted territories. I like having fun with ya! I like ya to think what in the world is Glen going to say today?  "HELL I NEVER KNOW!"   Goodnight.

1 comment:

  1. I hate how the supermarkets put so many price signs all together till you can't tell what is what. And I hate the lack of service in any place you go. God forbid you have a question about anything and expect to find anyone who will take the time to speak to you, and when and if you finally do, it is usually someone who has no clue anyhow!!

    I do sometimes read signs, I must admit. There are some along the highway that can be funny if you are fast enough to read them. But I really hate how billboards ruin the landscape.

    Nice post today G !