Hello there! I am back on day shift after ten years on the late and later shift, referred to as the grave yard shift. Believe an old warrior of life, it takes some getting used too! Of course the sleeping thing, but it did not take long, I rather smoothly reverted back to it after about a week.
The only thing I'm disappointed in so far is, I haven't found the time to write, OR whatever the hell you might call what I do! I call it relaxing and fun. Going through Crime And Punishment somehow satisfies me in ways I do not understand.
Sure 'nuff I have the same amount of hours, BUT it's different somehow, I haven't put my finger on it, nor wrapped my mind around it yet. My sleeping has been fantastic, it's lights out for eight hours. I tell myself "I haven't gotten in a groove yet," quite possibly that's so.
After fighting so hard to get this job, I'm doing fine with the change of hours and getting used to the people all over again. I'm getting reacquainted once more with the ones still on days.
I can do the job no problem, the time flies and I'm truly loving it. It's the feeling of having to prove myself over at my age, that seems to be gnawing at me. I have been there long enough and proved myself for years. Quite frankly, "it's just me, and will get in a groove in a few more weeks."
It's not the work thing so much, as I think it is, that I was comfortable in a more, slowed down world. Coming home late at night with no traffic out and feeling in no rush. I got so use to just coming home and relaxing and typing on the keyboard. There was no pressure on me to do anything else. Now, well it just doesn't feel right.
So after a battle to get this job and doing it, it's me, but seems the only person in this old world you can truly count on is yourself!
No, no, it's not about family, that's the only constant in this old world, so take that out of the equation.
Damn, I'm a searching for what I want to say so please hang tough with me and maybe I'll get it out.
There is ONLY "one" person in this old world that we can count on!
No one else will fight our battles. Rarity is when someone stands up for us!
I work to please myself and give all, in every endeavor, no matter!
I come home and evaluate myself asking this question. Did I do my best?
You know I learn everyday, striving to be a better person. Seems I'm never satisfied with my handling of the daily trials and tribulations of dealing with certain, always trying individuals, that seem to be put on this earth as a thorn in my ass!
YES I LEARN EVERY DAY, I'M SEARCHING FOR THAT BALANCE THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE HOURS I WORK! THE BALANCE MUST COME FROM WITHIN ME, I KNOW THAT, BUT . . . DAMN! SOMETIMES IT'S HARD TO BEAR. (THAT BE THE HARDEST PART, I'D RATHER ACT LIKE A BIG BEAR AND SLICE . . . OOPS, NEVER MIND!!!)
YET WHEN I DO IT COMES BACK TO ME MANY FOLD!
"GRIN AND BEAR IT, OR TURN THE OTHER CHEEK" WELLL . . . I AINNA NEVER . . . GONNA . . . LEARN THAT ONE!
WELL I RECKON, THAT'S WHY I BEGAN WRITING AT THE RIPE OLD AGE WHEN PEOPLE ARE RETIRING. I'M STILL SEARCHING AND WILL REPORT TO YOU OUT THERE UNTIL I FIND THE ANSWERS, WOW-ZA I GONNA BE HERE FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am sure you will get back into some sort of routine as far as writing. I can see how changing to that shift would mess ya up though because now you get home and it is still daytime so I am sure you or your wife find things that have to be done around the house whereas before it was the middle of the night and you could just sit and chill and write.
ReplyDeleteHey, don't try to prove yourself, don't feel you have to. Like you said, you have proved yourself for years so there is no need to have to do it anymore.