Distortion and Flounder!

This might not click. "What you say?"

I know what I see, and what I feel but . . . explaining it is difficult, well tricky might be the better word, so please bear with me as I attempt. The title seems to say it. Ah, but I see it, and feel it. so I have a leg up on you. Oh hell . . . I'm just going to jump into it and if it works, fine! If it don't I'll erase it!

There are times, not very often, when I see people, where their features seem exaggerated. Oh shit! Now I've done it! Take the most recent scenario as an example. I was watching television and came across an older lady where her features seemed so unnatural, distorted, like a caricature drawing. (I know yer thinking, old Glen has gone off the deep end. Not true! I have been teetering on the edge all my life!)

I'm not aware of the exact state of mind I'm in, but a very relaxed state seems right. Maybe a tad of hallucinating I reckon, only makes sense.

No! No! No! I don't do drugs, smoke marijuana, or drink any kind of alcohol! Nope as straight as an old arrow that has weathered many a storms, or been shot through the air so many times, it's no longer as straight as an arrow. (A wee funny there, ha!)

It's like my mind is slowed down in a different time. (Possibly time warp or displacement. Too much Star Trek, another little funny!) Working in factories all my life you do a job so much and get in sort of a zone, where your body is a step ahead, doing the next movement out of an adrenalin rush. When your in this zone, the job becomes easier, your able to work faster, it becomes so smooth your whole body and mind is in an automatic mode, seems so natural a working high, releasing them time released endorphins, that make you feel so good!

I hope you can identify with that, in some way, otherwise I'm going to look even more crazier than what you already believe I am!

Now that I'm making an attempt to understand, possibly it's the total opposite of working yourself into a nervous state, like a manic high. (Damn! stay with me here as I examine my own mind!)

 (((Damn, that's a scary thought!)))

Well . . . I'm what's considered manic depression/bipolar/@#$%ed up, whatever you wanna call it! Sheesh don't make no difference to me! I go through many phases and once laughed at myself, calling myself "a man of thousand faces/moods/whatever!!!"

So bipolar means highs and lows, but there is so much more to that. Maybe a thousand different feelings or thoughts helps to clarify that.

I KNOW! I KNOW! I KNOW! Much of me is scattered over 600 posts, and yet still I guarantee you that's not all of me, oh shit1 That could be another "Scary Movie!"

I'm many, many people, wrapped into one, controlled by all activities that I have no control over as I flounder along. (That word flounder I have never used before and now it pops in my mind, but that seems to fit nicely, bout now!) I absolutely MUST look up the definition to that word, one of my favorite things to do.

FLOUNDER, to struggle awkwardly to move, as in deep mud or snow; plunge about in a stumbling manner. ) (Hallelujah!) Also, to speak or act in an awkward, confused manner, with hesitation and frequent mistakes. Yep, that be me!  

Well there was more I think that I think I wanted to say but . . . I think I'll end it on flounder it somehow seems RIGHT TO ME!  Goodnight my friends.