Hello how are you today? I been meditating, old Glen's way. How's that? Well let me just tell you. I be tired and old age problems you know, from working a lifetime. So after pushing my body beyond what an old body wishes to work, I have to hurry on home on a cold winter's night before rigamortis sets in. If I dilly-dally too much, all them chemicals running about here and there in me blood stream from working faster than this eighty year old body wished too go. I know, I know I may have over stated my age a tad! Soo if I play my arthritis right, throw on my coat, grab a sodie from the break room. I need the fuel, a hit of caffeine in a 12 ounce sodie-pop you know, as in ya-hoo! Since I live six minutes from work on a frosty night I can get home before my arthritis raises it's ugly, UGLINESS! So I get to the kitchen, nuke me a bowl of homemade vegetable soup, umm, umm good! No salt loaded stuff in a can fer me huh uh! Homemade you see, latch onto a handful of ritz crackers, sit at the counter.
The secret to this, if, you wish to try this at home is trickery, ya see. Trick that tired old body into thinking it's still working at production speed, releasing them juiced up fight or flight instinctive something or the other your body makes, that can hold them aches and pains at bay until . . . you relax.
Okay, damn, damn, damn! I'm going to tell you a secret. I must use this to get me through the war. Hell yes it's WAR! Called making a living! Upon arrival at work, my body is still in the snooze mode. (You know what I mean! How many times y'all hit that damn snooze button every morning before getting out of bed? Uh-huh, you know what I'm talking about!!!) The first thing through that door at work my .75 cents is going in the so-da machine for 12 ounces of caffeine. No, I don't do coffee. DAMN! One mega gulp of that shit and my eyes jump open! While caffeine steers it's way through me body, I do a little work, then break time. Then guess what? Yep, sodie-pop-surge time again. DAMN! MY PEEPERS-A-POPPING! I do the work thing again, THEN YEP! Only I take me a couple acetamephen.
WARNING, WARNING, I'M A TRAINED PROFESSIONAL SODIE-POP-POPPER, FROM WAY BACK. I HAVE OVER HALF A CENTURY OF SODIE-POP UNDER ME BELT AND THE BELLY TO PROVE IT! WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT! IF I DRINK FOUR 12 OUNCE SODAS A DAY OF MY PREFERRED SODA, THAT'S 140 MG'S OF CAFFEINE.
To make myself look, not like an addict. You have any fricking idea how many mg's are in one of them zap you drinks these kids today drink, huum? One fricking drink has more than what this old fricker drinks all day!
OKAY, NOW THAT I'VE PUT THAT INTO PERSPECTIVE, SO THAT YOU MAY THINK, MAYBE, THAT'S NOT TOO BAD! I BE AN OLD MAN WITH OLD BATTERIES, A RUSTY BODY, OLD TRANSMISSION AND SUCH YA KNOW!
So that's how I get through my day. So now I'm home eating my homemade vegetable soup. When it begins. I jump into bed and go straight to my achy-breaky-slow down meditating mode, before full fledge body melt down strikes! Now, if PROPERLY executed for about one hour, then I get up and do what? Come on people . . . what are you reading, right now? Yep, and now, you know my secret! May peace be with you until we meet again.
I hope you're enjoying my quest to bring you Crime And Punishment. GOODNIGHT!