What have I learned today? Thinkin................. Still thinkin.... Damn nothin it seems! Surely I learned somethin...... nope nothin registering on my Learn O Meter. Well shucky dern! How am I gonna write somethun? Let's try punching in neighbahood. Same nincapoops, still nincapooping. Breeches Man still can't keepa uppa his pants. OH! OH!OH! I did listen to a wee bit of news on the radio. Defininitely an irregularity type thing for me to do! (You be a thinkin bout now did he mean to type irregularity? Yep I did!) I go with what my brain thinks! It don't think in terms of "proper" English! No sir-ree-bob-a-louie! I just want to have fun and be silly sometimes, DON'T YOU???
The news was about not paying attention to driving because of modern conveniences. Hello I'm a part-time Truck Driver. I set up higher than them automobiles and see them crazy ass people doing everything with them modern communication devices. Thumbalina is tearing Mr. Phone up as she goes flying past me on the Interstate! Shucky dern I think I'mma gonna put me a T. V. inside my speedometer, so's I canna watcha Dancing With The Stars and strut right onna downa the highway right along with them! Me and my Peterbilt can boogie all night!
I see's (Yep meant to!) people with Lap Tops hooked to their dash, typing their memoirs! (Get it "memoirs", them crazy suckers gonna be dead, NOW YA GET IT!!!) Oops! I lost it fer a sec, please forgive me, too many miles on me brain! (ahhahahaha) Damn! Ye be a tough crowd out there in the world tonight!!!
Okay! Okay! Okay! You prescribe! EXCUSE ME! Sell! All those Instantaneous Neuron Pathway Pick-Me-Uppers to people hooked on Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil and all the other neurotic producing Meds that these Mad White Clowns the Pharmas keep locked away in the Dungeons for years and years! The only voices these lost souls hear, repeats over and over, MORE, MORE, MORE, we got to have more!!! Our patent is expiring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This generation has been "programmed" to have, know and do everything right know!!! I see ones sneaking with their cell phones checking their messages! Damn Instamaniacs! Can't wait two !@#$ing hours between breaks! Damn! They ain't the President of The United States! Yoo, your Bro calling to ask "how's it hanging'??? Give this old fat man a break!
Are they handing out cell phones to pre schoolers? Don't ya laugh at me! We be almost there! Soon they be going to buy a new phone because they wore it out, like we old timers use to buy note pads!!!
Imagine Developmental Handicapped ones texting each other with their cell phones! Mentally ten years old. Hey! They pass their driving test and are released out on the freeways! You see trouble a brewin here? Or is it just Waa!! You think I'M a jivin ya, don't ya??? Here in corn country the world has gone MADD! You ainna tellin me in the cities things ain't outta CONTROL! I BE OUTTA TIME! GOODNIGHT, THANKS FOR STOPPING BY! Glen
Oh Glen, I think one of the reasons I like you is that you say everything I would love to say, and you say it so humorously, yet you get the serious point across. And even though you have me chuckling first thing in the morning, what you say here is sobering and alarmingly true.
ReplyDeleteYou said it best there at the end. The world HAS gone mad and out of control......