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Sunday, November 13, 2011


I knew the TIME would be right, to write this heartfelt post,,, whenever THE "TIME" was right! I lost my DEAREST friend, last Saturday..... One's, never ready for something like that! How can one prepare, for such a devastating lost??? I've carried a stiff upper lip and gone about my daily business, OR so I've tried! My soul cries out! Tears of sorrow, does NOT comfort, ENOUGH!!! I've known my departed friend their whole life! Way too short for such a wonderful soul, one who helped to make me, ME!! I miss, more today, than a week ago! I've known this soul in another past, of that I've no doubt! We'll meet again, I'm sure! Destiny has it's own way, doesn't it! 

Destiny, is a lovely word, don't you think? DESTINY, the seemingly inevitable or necessary succession of events. 2 what will necessarily happen to any person or thing (one's) fate. 3 that which determines events said of either a supernatural agency or neccessity --- SYN, FATE

WOW!!! I don't know how to follow such an amazing meaning! My first experience at death, came at age seven... Much, too early to undserstand, such life altering event, for all concerned... One day you're playing with your, younger sister,,, then you see her lying in a casket, in a strange place... Parents say "she died"!!! You've never seen death before!!! How does a child of seven deal, with such a thing? You can't! All you know is, you'll never play, touch, laugh, with her again! You can't understand, you've no understanding of death... Children play, laugh, explore, imagine... Death is not understandable... Life's  forever altered, childhood changed! It should never be, for a child!

It's etched, an unhealable scare across your heart! It's the, not knowing, the not undestanding, WHY??? You'll NEVER learn, it's unexplainable!!!

The scar stays open, it can't heal, no medicine can take away that kind of pain!!! Five years later the assasination of a President, makes the un-understanding of death, MORE REAL!!! You're now twelve and it's someone you've never met.. The old wound is deeper, magnified millions of times by mourners... You'll never meet... A great man... The President Of The United States.. The greatest nation of the world, we school children are taught... Every detail plays out, live... At this point in history, unimagineable, on the small screen... The Funeral with John john, walking in front of the horse drawn hearse carrying his Dad, was me, as I lost my sister a few years earlier... I'm an almost adult of twelve, now, it doesn't matter, I cry out, for all... And I feel the nation crying out, with me...

I could say everything returns to normal, but that would be a lie! One year later at the manly age of thirteen, the most devastating blow of my too young life happens!!! The only adult male, I truly loved, the man I'm named after dies! I was as close to my Grandfather, as to my Mother! WHY? I don't know why! DESTINY... Seems rather cruel, reflecting back at this point of my life...

At my Father's death, I felt relief , for him, a tormented individual... And for the rest of US, whose lifes, he has tormented... Possibly, his life was a life of torment... it certainly seemed to me, to be... Noo-body gets to choose their path, do they??? By simply living our life, one's DESTINY, makes us whom we are NOW... Is that good or bad... Depends on what you choose to do with it... One can feel sorry for themselves, until the day, they die, OR, they can use the wisdom, the feelings, what TRUE HEARTFELF emotions to LIVE, to move on, to LOVE, to grow, TO ENJOY WHAT LIFE HAS GIVEN US, TO EMBRACE THE WEAKNESSES, THAT GIVE US STRENGTH, THAT'S IN ALL OF US..

It's there, it's always been there... Tap into it, on a daily basis to sustain one's self for the rest of your life. Damn! Does an old fat man have to tell you!!! It's inside all of us... If you can't find it, it's because you don't have the COURAGE to look!!! To find it, will set you free... Tap into you're most inner emotions, there lies the answers... A shrink will charge you and never set you free... Unlock the beast within, let him out... Only you, can set YOU free... Only you know, you enough to set you free... Don't waste any more of your life's "time"... DAMN IT! NOW IS "THE TIME" BEFORE YOU DIE... Die free, an Eagle, flying above it, knowing YOU ARE FREE!!!

THE recent death of a true friend, has taught ME this, as I cry out! ONLY NOW, I TRULY UNDERSTAND... IF I DIE NOW, I'M FREE, (Let's ride to OUR last sunset, FREE! As we're meant to be!!!) Goodnight my friends, no matter where you be!!!   G. E. G. As always thank you for visiting my humble site!     

1 comment:

  1. The other day I read one of your blogs and you mentioned something devastating happening and I was going to ask, but I figured in your time you would talk about it. I think I know which of your friends you are referring to. That friend that loves you unconditionally, the one who loved you because of and in spite of your flaws. No words I say could soften the blow or heal the pain you are feeling right now. But I do offer you my sincerest and HEARTFELT sympathy for this loss.
    As for your other words here, you are right in all that you say . You are a wise man really.