I want off, I grow tired of the demands in life. Why have I been sentenced to life for crimes I did not commit? I'm innocent!!! It seems every day makes me more tired and harder for me to just barely survive. I can handle my body as it slowly withers. My soul cries stop. The simple pleasures have been replaced by burdens I no longer wish to carry. Am I to deteriorate to a mindless clump of nothing? It would seem more humane to turn in early, than become this.
I die, slowly but surely as I watch the anointed brethren reap rewards never within my grasp. I grow tired of one foot forward followed by two steps backwards. Why I even try to walk the line, I'm not sure. I grow tired of seeing undeserving ones bestowed praise of glory. Have I not paid my dues to society? I receive no praise only pain, suffering, torment, the likes of which "others" do not experience. Why me? Why must I carry a chain around my heart that I don't deserve. I have fought all the battles gallantly and not scarred another soul, yet why do I feel as I've failed? Absolutely nothing has been given to me, while I have seen others handed the proverbial "silver spoon". I have not defaced the "golden rules". Why do I mentally suffer so?
My only wish is to live my life freely by simply being "ME". I wish no one any harm. Others are free to be themselves. Was I cursed at birth with another one's soul, not meant for me? It seems I am paying for someone else's crime. I wish only for my mind and spirit to travel free. Please if not in this life but the next. Age grinds the grime of others deeper into my heart. What I once did not know I cannot fix. Poor unfortunate souls suffer enough. Why must I know of a dastardly deed I cannot mend. By tormenting me it serves no purpose. I am only another to torture slowly.
I harm no one. I'm forced into reclusion to protect what little I have left. Hide from the harsh realities of an unforgiving world. Ones that make me carry pain and suffering, I never asked to be part of.
The chosen reap rewards. I ask for just a small part, a minute amount to finish my remaining years with peace. Is that too much to ask for a tired soul? And out of the way in a corner of my very own. I have no wish for the limelight, only to be acknowledged as an individual who carries his load valiantly. I have made mistakes but carry my head high until the day I die. Please stop. I wish to get off the merry-go-round!!!
Very eloquently stated Glen - I too, feel the burdens of a world gone mad.
ReplyDeleteAs of late, I feel a very strong pull back to the spiritual roots of my younger years. At this point in the game, Faith is the only weapon I can still yeild proficiently, since age has stolen my other abilities.
You are not alone Glen, a reward awaits you, according to where your treasures are laid up!