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Monday, February 7, 2011


You could call then “Energy Vampires”. I’m sure you know someone like this. Imagine you’re at a party where everyone appears to be having an extremely good time. The good time is not necessarily from the alcohol but the vibe of the party is just everywhere. The rental band seems to even be in tune and have smoked just the right amount of “smoke” to be on top of their game. It’s one of them, man am I ever glad I didn’t miss this party even, your redneck cousin Jimmy Joe Bob is hitting on a woman and she is not running for her life to get away from the crazy asshole. (When he walked into the door you were thinking to yourself tell me he didn’t wear his camouflage pants and fish hook hat). The women look fine, free drinks and good snacks you’re thinking nothing is going to kill this party. You’re planning on a long night of socializing, having fun!
                The party is smoking the band is on break everything is still alive and in walks Elmer Killer Dud. You are thinking what simple headed moron invited the energy killing vampire himself. Instead of the life of the party he is about to screw it up. (You are thinking out loud and I can hear you saying, how can one person destroy a great party). There are individuals that bring death, destruction, terror, okay, okay, okay I might be overstating somewhat!
“No fricking way you are overstating about this guy with his obnoxious whiney voice and whiney talk and whiney mentality in general. Just look at the simple minded fluff head bringing the hair from his cat Hairball, can’t you see the white hair on his black shirt, sheesh he has already killed the party look at the people look at him and shake their head. You think anyone is going to put their hand in the chips and dip after Mr. Dud walks by with cat hair blowing in the wind behind him. There ain’t no way Jose” says Joe Pesky. (That is my favorite smart ass talking character in my brain).
                The band comes back from break they are off key out of tune and they now suck. Your cousin Jimmy Joe Bob has just been kicked in the nuts by your home coming Queen 15 th runner up. The fine looking women have aged 20 years since you last looked. You look at your beer and realize it is Pabst Blue Ribbon light instead of Budweiser the king of beers. You are feeling something at the bottom of your gut that tells you the chip dip was past its prime and you are headed for the bathroom the rest of the night. So instead of scoring you end up s###ting you guts out all because of the dreaded “Energy Vampire” dude who’s name is Elmer Killer Dud.
                We all have worked or come in contact with an individual that destroys our good moods, never gets the punch line to the simplest jokes, literally wreak havoc wherever they walk. At Sunday school your Pastor must say an extra prayer after shaking their hand or makes him question his occupation.
Another type of energy vampire is someone who always seems to have more problems than anyone else and make such a big deal out of everything they do both in their working life and their personal life.  Whether they do or not is not the problem, they simply have to tell everyone all about it every day and you want to tell them. What actually makes you think I give a rats ass! (You thought I was going to use the F WORD DIDN’T YA)!

1 comment:

  1. ok...ok. I'll try to behave better from now on. I do get a bit carried away at times...