Good morning to you my friends, hope you're "fair to meddling!" Another oldie but goodie saying that comes to mind., scary sometimes! I can be thinking good and bad, positive and negative, ying and yang simultaneously and that's on a bad day! Always been that way, a by product of my unusual, polar opposite parents. I'm not about to go there though, been there too fricking long!
I'm not depressed, been there done that, not going there again in this life, maybe the next!
I'm just simply "TIRED!" How am I to explain? Like a stuck record that's been played too death, sticking in an ever endless amount of new ruts! (Here I talk of records, oh well most likely any one that reads my silly little journal of life is old enough to remember the little 45 rpm, and 33 rpm records.)
Old age poisons my whole body, damn . . . I sure do hate that! or is it loss of neurons while I sleep, mostly likely both, sends chills through my achy-breaky-heart. (Oh crap now that old song will stay in my head! You know, Billy Ray Cyrus had a hit with that song, Hanna Montana's dad, now Miley Cyrus.)
Nothing truly excites me anymore. Do you understand what I'm saying? Say someone offered me a new car, any car I wanted, with the stipulation, I must drive it, no one else. Once upon a time I woulda been thrilled to death. Now, seeing as how I drive very little what in tarnation do I need a new car for? I have two old, but good enough for me, that I'm happy with, besides, taxes, license, insurance, don't need no more expenses!
Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy, my wife, family, puppy dogs, even they cannot keep the tiredness away.
Each and every day wears on me.
I have seen the grinding away of one's body, wearing all the way through the heart, erasing a once magnificent soul, the very essence of what once was ... gone! Old age, body or mind deteriorating, only the shell remains. Sad as hell ain't it? It is a hell, a kind of hell, experienced by all sooner or later unfortunately!
I'm tired . . . Tired in ways never thought about years ago. I've seen older ones die a slow death but never yielded to the fact that, it would be me one day!
Little things never thought about in daily life become challenges! Each day seems to bring new ones. Is it so, or is it just more noticeable?